美国国家公共电台 NPR Opinion: 'National Enquirer' Publisher's CEO Could Testify About Trump And UFOs

（单词翻译）

Opinion: 'National Enquirer¹' Publisher's CEO Could Testify About Trump² And UFOs

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

The reports that David Pecker, head of the company that publishes National Enquirer, received immunity³ to testify about those payoffs Michael Cohen handled for two women who say they were involved with Donald Trump remind us that special and independent counsel investigations⁴ can go anywhere. Investigators⁵ are obliged to follow the evidence wherever it goes. David Pecker's Enquirer endorsed⁶ Donald Trump for president and ran a number of stories about some of his opponents during the 2016 campaign, including especially nasty and preposterous⁷ charges linking another candidate's father to John F. Kennedy's assassination⁸ - a story Trump then passed along. The AP reports there was a safe at National Enquirer offices that held stories about Donald Trump that David Pecker arranged payment for and never ran. But what else might be in that safe?

If the chief of National Enquirer is to testify under oath, there are all kinds of urgent questions he can finally answer for the American people. What's up with UFOs? Where do they come from? Why do they bother to come to Earth if they can order anything through Amazon these days? Do aliens post online reviews of their favorite and least favorite spots on Earth? New York - no place to land - get poppy seed bagels to go. Grand Canyon⁹ - red rocks, just like home. Why bother? Niagara Falls - you get the point after just a splash. Stay dry. Just soar over it - drives the tourists crazy. And is Elvis really still with us? What about Marilyn, Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa and D.B. Cooper? Where is Nicolas Cage? Oh, wait, he's got a new movie out this summer. What about Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster?

In fact, after they had to pay a number of pricey court settlements to celebrities¹⁰ for running false stories, the Enquirer ran stories about the infidelities of John Edwards, the Reverend Jesse Jackson and other public figures that turned out to be true. It would be a remarkable¹¹ turn of events if a publication that has purveyed¹² truly fake news had a vault¹³ of true stories about President Trump. And where is Elvis? Inquiring minds want to know.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SUSPICIOUS MINDS")

ELVIS PRESLEY: (Singing) We can't go on together...