生活大爆炸 第五季:第22集 单身派对带来的麻烦(上)

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The conversation is sparkling. 里面的对话太精彩了

Fine, I'll tell you. 好吧，告诉你们

A lichen¹ is an organism made up of two separate species, fungi² and algae³. 苔藓是由两种生物构成的，菌类和藻类

If you could merge⁴ with another species, what species would you pick and why? 如果能与另一种生物结合，你们会选择哪种生物? 为什么?

Hint: there is a right answer. 提示，有标准答案哦

None of you will get it. 但你们都猜不到

Okay, I'd pick swan because, uh, the resulting hybrid⁵ would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human 好吧，我选择天鹅，杂交后能产生高等文明人类

and the long graceful⁶ neck I've always dreamed of having. 还有我一直梦想的长脖子

Wrong. Leonard? 错，莱纳德?

Horse, but mostly just for the height. 马，主要因为身高

A little bit for the genital girth. 还有生殖器粗度

Wrong, and let's keep it clean, shall we? 不对，不要说不正经的，好吗?

Kangaroo, uh, I'd be Kanga-Jew. 袋鼠，或者应该说犹太袋鼠

The first of my people to dunk a basketball. 那样我就是族里首个能灌篮的了

Also instead of just living in your mother's house, you could actually live inside her body. 那样你能就住在你妈的袋子里，而不是房子里了

Clever, but also wrong. 聪明，但还是错了

No, the best organism for human beings to merge with is the lichen itself. 和人类杂交最好的生物就是苔藓

That way, you'd be human, fungus⁷, and algae. 那样你就会拥有人类，菌类，藻类的...

Triple threat. Like three-bean salad. 三重优点。就像三豆沙拉一样

Give me one circumstance in which that would be useful. 举个例子，有什么用

All right, picture this: a beautiful outdoor concert. 好吧，想象一下，美丽的户外音乐会

Now, as a human, I appreciate Beethoven. 作为人类，我可以欣赏贝多芬

As a fungus, I have a terrific view, growing out of a towering maple⁸ tree. 作为菌类，我可以爬上高耸的枫树，有个非常好的视角

And no thank you, expensive concessions⁹. Because as an algae, I'll just snack on this sunlight. 还不用买昂贵的零食，因为作为藻类，我只要吸收阳光就好

He got us again. No, he didn't. 他又赢了，才怪

Anyway, if it's okay with you, we should talk about Howard's bachelor party. 你要是完了的话，我们该讨论下霍华德的单身派对了

Seems like a bit of a letdown after our lichen conversation, but... What do you know, you're half swan. 讨论完苔藓后聊这个，有点掉层次吧，但...你知道什么，你是天鹅人

I've been doing some research on strippers. 我最近查了下脱衣舞娘

One agency I spoke¹⁰ to, said I could get us a great price if we're flexible on age range and number of limbs. 一个中介说，假如我们不在乎，年龄和缺手缺脚的话，能给我们个好价钱

Sounds like loads of fun, but I promised Bernadette no strippers. 应该很有意思，但我答应伯纳黛特，不请脱衣舞娘了

You don't want strippers? 你不请脱衣舞娘?

You're the king of strippers. The one club in North Hollywood named a pole after you. 你是脱衣舞娘之王，北好莱坞的那脱衣舞店，用你的名字命名了根钢管呢

What can I tell ya-I'm not into that stuff anymore. 怎么说呢，我不再喜欢那些东西了

Good for you, Howard. I'm proud of you. 很不错啊，霍华德，我为你骄傲

And still, you're the first one of use to get married. We have to do something special. 还有，你是我们第一个结婚的人，我们得搞点特别的

You know Germans have an interesting pre-wedding custom... Well, it's probably not for me. 德国人有个有趣的婚前习俗...应该不适合我吧

Maybe we can go up to Napa Valley. 我们可以去纳帕谷

They've got that wine train. Boo, wine! But yay, trains. I'm in. 那儿有葡萄酒火车之旅，恶心，酒，太棒了，火车，我去

Anyway, it's a beautiful time of year. Uh, you travel through the vineyards. There's a tasting on board. And all the wildflowers are in bloom. Magic. 总之，这季节刚好，乘火车穿过葡萄园，还可以在车上品酒，野花竞相盛开。太奇妙了

Look at that, in 30 seconds, we went from hiring women to being them. 瞧啊，三十秒，咱们从找女人变成当女人了

So, I hear you and the lost boys are having a bachelor party tonight. 听说你们失足青年今晚有单身派对

Yeah, just going to a restaurant, get some steaks, and scotch¹¹. Nothing to worry about. 是啊，就是去餐馆，吃吃饭，喝喝酒，没什么可担心的

Why should I worry? 我能担心什么?

Well, I don't know.It's a bachelor party. There could be strippers. 单身派对，可能有脱衣舞娘

Wouldn't that make you a little jealous? 你不嫉妒吗?

Oh, come on Leonard, it's you.What's going to happen? 算了吧，莱纳德，就你，能发生什么?

I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye-contact and maybe offer to help her kid with his homework. 就算有脱衣舞娘，你也是躲着她，或者可能帮她孩子补习下功课

Hey, I am a young man in his sexual prime. 嘿，我是一个性致正旺的年轻人

Under the right conditions, I-I-I am capable of just, really crazy stuff. 某些情况下，我可是会很疯狂的

Really? What is the craziest thing you've ever done with a woman? 真的? 你和女人做过，最疯狂的事是什么?

And the time you and I had sex in the ocean does not count. Oh, come on.That's got to count. 在海里和我做爱那次不算，不要啦，算啦

There was a really strong undertow, we could have died. 那水下逆流差点搞死我们

Well, have fun tonight. Oh, I will. 好吧，今晚玩得开心。会的

There is no telling what might happen. Yeah, there is. 谁知道会发生什么。当然知道

You know, there's nothing wrong helping¹² some woman's kid get through their S.A.T.'s. 帮别人的孩子补习高考有啥错了

Hey, I got to hand it to Raj, He found a really nice spot to have a bachelor party. 嘿，多亏拉杰了，他找这地儿还不错

It's not bad. Unless you compare it to a train; then it stinks¹³. 是不错，但要是和火车比，就烂多了

Are you drinking whiskey? Indeed. 你在喝威士忌?是啊

If I'm to participate in the social convention that is the stag night, 既然我来参加哥们的单身派对

then I must embrace all its components¹⁴: including tobacco, swear words, and yes, alcohol. 就必须尝试所有东西，包括香烟，粗话，还有酒

Jeepers! That's yucky. 哇塞（Jeepers70年代常用感叹词），好难喝

Whoa, it's a little early to start dropping J-bombs, don't you think? 现在用这词是不是太早了?

Hey, you guys. Oh, hey, Wil. Nice of you to make it out tonight for Howard. 嘿，你们好。嘿，威尔，你能来真好

Well, it was either this or another hot tub party at George Takei's house. 不来这个就得去，乔治·竹井（星际迷航的演员）家的泡澡派对了

I'm confused. I thought since our reconciliation¹⁵, I was your friend in this group. 我有点糊涂了，我以为自从我们和解后，我才是你的朋友

Oh, I'm friends with Howard too. 霍华德也是我朋友

Oh, I guess you're just friends with anybody. 哦，是个人都是你朋友吧

Hey, uh, Leonard... things are a little tight at the comic book store. I might need some help covering my share of the check. 嘿，莱纳德，最近漫画店生意不太好，能帮我垫下我那份吗?

Oh, yeah, no worries. 当然，没问题

And maybe a few bucks¹⁶ for the valet. 还有给服务员的几块钱小费

Oh, all right.And gas money to get home. Yeah, sure 好的，还有回家的油钱。好的，没问题

You know what? This is my grandfather's watch. 这是我爷爷的手表

18-carat gold, got it in Europe during the war.  Wow, that's very nice. 100 bucks and it's yours.

Hey, everybody! The bachelor boy has arrived! 嘿，伙计们！单身派对主角到啦!

For he's a jolly good fellow... 他是非常好的哥们（聚会常用歌曲） ...

Which nobody can deny, Yes, yes, yes. He's a jolly good fellow. What time do the strippers arrive? 大家都知道。是啊，是啊，是啊。他确实是个好哥们，脱衣舞娘啥时来?

Actually, Barry, we're not going to have strippers tonight.  巴里，其实今晚我们没请脱衣舞娘

Ah, then what the frig did I get 200 dollars in singles out for? 那我带的两百块零钱做啥?

You want to buy a watch? 你要买表吗?

This is Maid of Honor Amy Farrah Fowler, bringing you the wedding activities just weeks out from the big day. 我是首席伴娘艾米·菲拉·福勒，正给你带来婚礼一礼拜前的现场直播

Let's check in with a beautiful, radiant young woman, and her friend who's about to get married. 让我们看看这位美丽动人的年轻女子，以及她将要结婚的朋友

Ladies, can you tell us what you're doing? 女士们，能告诉我你们在做什么吗?

Um, these are gift bags we're going to put in the hotel rooms of our out-of-town guests. 这些礼物袋是给，我们外地来的客人准备的

This is a map of Pasadena. 帕萨迪纳市的地图

This is a list of local restaurants. 当地餐馆列表

And then, for Howie's relatives, we have antihistamines¹⁷, antacids, and medicine for diarrhea and constipation. 我们还为华仔的亲戚准备了，抗组胺剂，抗酸剂...以及腹泻和便秘的药

Yeah, we labeled them "stop and go. 我们标上了"止"和"泄"

All right, pivoting¹⁸ to the big question: Bernadette, 好了，最大的问题，伯纳黛特

on your wedding night you'll be consummating¹⁹ your marriage. 你的婚礼当晚圆房

What do you think your first sexual position will be as husband and wife? 作为丈夫和妻子，你们会用什么姿势做爱?

Amy, please. Keeping in mind that whoever's on top may set the tone for the marriage. 艾米，不要。谨记，谁在上位，谁婚后就是老大

Okay, show's over. Hey, they may conceive a child on their wedding night. Don't you think the kid might get a kick out of knowing how it happened? 好吧，不要玩了。嘿，他们可能在婚礼当晚怀上孩子，你不认为孩子有权知道，是怎么发生的吗?

I don't care. Ask her things like "Are you going to take Howard's name? Not "Who's going to sit on who. 我才不关心。问她别的问题，像"你要跟霍华德姓吗?"，而不是"谁在谁上面"

I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz. Nice. 我会连起来姓伯纳黛特·玛丽安·罗斯考斯基.沃洛维茨。不错

You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up. 你应该在别人抢注之前，赶紧去给这名字注册个网站

Howard already took care of it. 霍华德已经搞定了

Plus, he set up our beautiful wedding Web site with cute little facts about our family histories. 他还建了我们婚礼的网站，里面有我们的家族历史

Do you know, for a while in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors. 在波兰时，我家和他家就住隔壁呢

Oh, that's cool. No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later. 太酷了。不，一点都不酷，待会解释给你听

May I have your attention, please? 安静，请注意了

We are hear tonight to celebrate the upcoming nuptials²⁰ of my best friend Howard Wolowitz. Hear! Hear! 今晚我们庆祝我的挚友，霍华德·沃洛维茨即将到来的婚礼。干杯，干杯

And, apparently²¹, Wil Wheaton's best friend. 显然也是威尔·惠顿的挚友

Sheldon... Talk to the hand. 谢尔顿... 别烦我

Does anyone have any words they'd like to say about our man of the evening? I do. 哪位有话想对咱今夜的主角说吗?我

As is the tradition, I have prepared a series of disrespectful jokes which generate humor at Howard's expense. 遵从传统，我准备了些，调侃霍华德的贱笑话

Prepare to have your ribs²² tickled²³...Howard 准备好笑破肚皮吧...霍华德...

I always thought you'd be the last one of us to ever get married, because you are so short and unappealing. Am I right? 我一直以为我们之中，你是最后结婚的，因为你就是个矮挫丑，对吧?

Let's see here. Oh, seriously though, Howard, you're actually one of the most intelligent people I know. 来这条，讲真的了，霍华德，你是我认识的人中最聪明的

And that's a zinger, because you're not. 骗你的，其实不是

I've always thought that you'd make someone a fine husband someday. 我一直以为有天你会成为，一位优秀的丈夫

Assuming you'd be able to get the parts, and develop the engineering skills to assemble them, which I don't see as likely. Hacha! 但你先得弄到零件，再提高下工程技术，把老婆组装起来，但我觉得不太可能，好笑吧

Okay... Let me see here. Okay, kidding aside-Howard, you are a good friend. 好，我看看，好，不开玩笑了，霍华德，你是个好朋友

And I wish you nothing but happiness. 我希望你能幸福快乐

Bazinga, I don't! 逗你玩，并没有

Sheldon... Doubleazinga! I do! Sheldon 还是逗你玩，我有

Good luck following that. 还好跟了这句

So, Howard Wolowitz tying the knot. 霍华德·沃洛维茨要婚啦

Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind. He was a wild one. 他那疯狂的单身日子已成过去，他原来可疯了

Well, I guess we all kind of were. 我们应该都是吧

I remember this one time, I was with this girl at the beach. 我记得有一次，我跟一妹子去沙滩

We were in the ocean and we started making out. 我们下到海里，开始亲热

I know, it was crazy. 我知道，超疯的

I wasn't even wearing my Aquasocks. 我都没穿防水鞋

Then... Nobody cares, Hofstadter. Wrap it up. Right. 然后...没人想听，霍夫斯塔特，赶紧着。好

To Howard.To Howard. 敬霍华德，敬霍华德

I totally had sex in the ocean. 我在海里打了一炮

 

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