A Parking Lot Emergency
[00:30.20]Mindy went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
[00:36.55]Several people noticed her sitting in her car
[00:41.61]with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed,
[00:46.86]with both hands behind the back of her head.
[00:51.44]One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
[00:58.20]and walked over to the car,which was parked in the scorching sun.
[01:04.76]He noticed that Mindy's eyes were now open,
[01:09.90]beads of sweat rolling down her cheeks,and she looked very strange.
[01:16.77]He asked her if she was O.K.
[01:21.03]Mindy replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head
[01:26.49]and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
[01:31.85]The man called the paramedics,
[01:35.90]who broke into the car because the doors were locked
[01:40.65]and Mindy refused to remove her hands from her head.
[01:45.40]When they finally got in,
[01:49.06]they found that Mindy had a was of bread dough on the back of her head.
[01:55.12]A biscuit canister had exploded from the heat,
[02:00.48]making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot,
[02:05.34]and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
[02:10.48]When she reached back to find out what it ws,
[02:14.92]she flet the dough and thought it was her brains.
[02:19.89]She initially passed out,
[02:23.65]but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour
[02:30.41]until someone noticed and came to her aid.
[02:35.38]A Little Kiss
[03:02.33]Four strangers traveled together in the same compartment on a train to Chicago.
[03:09.18]Two men and two women faced each other.
[03:13.62]One woman was a very wealthy and sophisticated 70-year old lady
[03:20.88]who was decked out in the finest of furs and jewelry.
[03:26.24]Next to her sat a beautiful young woman,
[03:30.91]nineteen years old--
[03:34.39]who looked like something right off the cover of a fashion magazine.
[03:39.85]Across from the older lady was a police officer,
[03:45.10]a very mature looking man in his mid-forties.
[03:50.66]And next to him sat a young man.
[03:54.79]They were chatting and laughing.
[03:58.55]As the train entered an unlighted tunnel,
[04:03.20]the four strangers sat in complete darkness and dtotal silence,
[04:09.08]until the sound of a kiss broke the silence;
[04:14.22]following the kiss a loud shap could be heard throughout the compartment.
[04:20.70]The four strangers sat quietly with their own thoughts.
[04:26.16]The old lady was thinking,"Isn't it wonderful that there are still young women
[04:33.32]who have a little self-respect and dignity?"
[04:37.76]The young woman,shaking her head and greatly puzzled,asked herself,
[04:44.42]"Why would any man in his right mind
[04:48.68]want to kiss an old lady like that while I'm sitting right next to her?"
[04:55.16]The police officer,rubbing his sore face,
[05:00.62]was cutraged that any woman could ever think that a man like him
[05:06.99]would try to sneak a kiss in the dark.
[05:11.43]And the young man,grinning from ear to ear,was thinking,
[05:16.79]"What a crazy and mixed up would this is!
[05:21.75]A man can kiss the back of his own hand
[05:26.50]and then smack a cop in the face and get away with it."
[05:31.86]The New President
[06:02.11]Mr.Richards had just been hired by the board of directors
[06:08.17]as the new president of a large high-tech corporation.
[06:13.73]The president who was stepping down met with him privately
[06:19.48]and presented him with three numbered envelopes.
[06:24.34]"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve,"
[06:30.50]he said.Well,things went along pretty smoothly,but six months later,
[06:38.68]sales took a downturn,
[06:42.23]and Mr.Richards was really catching a lot of heat.
[06:47.20]At his wits'end,he remembered the envelopes.
[06:52.06]He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope.
[06:56.91]The message read,"Blame your predecessor."
[07:01.46]So he called a press conference
[07:06.03]and tactfully lard the dblame at the feet of the previous president.
[07:11.39]Satisfied with his comments,the press responded positively,
[07:17.45]sales began to pick up,and the problen was soon behind him.
[07:22.80]About a year later,the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales,
[07:30.85]combined with serious product problems.
[07:34.92]Having learned from his previous experience,
[07:39.96]Mr.Richards quickly opened the second envelope.
[07:44.82]The message read,"Reorganize."This he did.
[07:50.70]He streamlined the production process and laid off some employees,
[07:56.76]and as a result,the company quickly rebounded.
[08:01.80]After several consec utive profitable months,
[08:06.48]the company once again fell on difficult times.
[08:11.34]Mr.Richards went to his office,closed the door,and opened the third envelope.
[08:18.10]The message said,"Prepare three envelopes." |