My Big Fat Greek Wedding（在线收听）

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Dad: You’d better get married soon, you, you starting to look old!

My dad’s been saying that to me since I was fifteen. Cos nice sweet girls are supposed to do three things in life: Marry Greek boys, make Greek babies and feed everyone until the day we die.

When I was growing up, I knew I was different: The other girls were ¹⁾blonde and ²⁾delicate and I was a ³⁾swarthy six-year-old with ⁴⁾sideburns. I so badly wanted to be like the popular girls. All sitting together, talking, eating their Wonder Bread sandwiches.

Blonde Girl: What’s that?

Toula: It’s moussaka.

Blonde Girl: Moose Kaka? Ha, ha...

And while the pretty girls got to go to Brownies, I had to go to Greek school. (Greek) At Greek school, I learned valuable lessons like if Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry? (Greek)

My mom was always cooking food filled with warmth and wisdom and never forgetting that ⁵⁾side dish of steaming hot guilt.

Mom: Nico, don’t play with your food, when I was your age, we didn’t have food!

Toula: Mom?

Mom: What?

Toula: Why do I have to go to Greek school?

Mom: When you get married, don’t you want to be able to write your mother-in-law a letter? Nico, come on, eat!

We lived in a normal middle-class Chicago neighborhood of  ⁶⁾tasteful modest homes. Our house, however, was ⁷⁾modeled after the ⁸⁾Parthenon, complete with ⁹⁾Corinthian ¹⁰⁾columns and guarded by statues of the gods. In case the neighbors had any doubts about our ¹¹⁾heritage, they could just check out our subtle ¹²⁾tribute to the Greek flag.

My dad believed in only two things, that Greeks should educate non-Greeks about being Greek, and that any ¹³⁾ailment -- from ¹⁴⁾psoriasis to poison ¹⁵⁾ivy -- could be cured with Windex.

Six years later, I was 12, Athena, my older perfect sister was 15 and my brother, Nick, was 11. Every morning, my dad would lecturer us on the history of our people the greatest civilization, the Greeks.

Dad: OK, now name three things the Greeks did first.

Athena: Astronomy, philosophy and democracy.

Dad: Bravo! Very good!

I wish I had a different life. I wish I was braver and prettier or just happy, but it’s useless to dream, because nothing ever changes.

Toula: (Answers the phone) Hi, Michalengelo’s Travel Agency, may I help you? Well sure, that’s what we do. Absolutely, Oh right. Sure. Well, what you can do is book it now, I can reserve the seat for you. Be with you in a second. That would be no problem. All right. Just call me back when you are ready to book. OK, thank you! Bye-bye.

Ian: Hi!

Toula: Hi! Did you want to see some ¹⁶⁾brochures? Huh! (Fallsdown.) Found them!

(Church organ)

我盛大的希腊婚礼

父亲∶你最好快点结婚，你啊，已经显老了！

从我十五岁开始，爸爸就老是对我说这句话。因为漂亮的好女孩一辈子只该做三件事：嫁希腊男孩，生希腊宝宝，毕生致力于喂饱每个人。

长大后，我明白了自己与众不同：别的女孩子金发碧眼、娇俏玲珑，我却只是个黑乎乎的六岁小孩，头发带着鬓角。我是多么想像那些受欢迎的女孩一样啊。大家坐到一块儿，边聊边吃“神奇面包”三明治。

金发女孩：你吃的是什么？

图拉：萨卡冻。

金发女孩：我看是驼鹿鹦鹉吧？哈哈……

漂亮女孩都参加童子军活动，我却要上希腊语中学。（希腊语）在希腊语学校里，我学到宝贵的知识，比如：假如尼克有一头山羊，而玛利亚有九头，他们什么时候可以结婚？（希腊语）

妈妈总是满腔热情与智慧地给我们煮饭，并且永远不忘来道新鲜热辣的“忆苦思甜”配菜。

母亲：尼可，别拿食物玩啊，我像你那么大的时候，我们什么吃的都没有！

图拉：妈妈……

母亲：什么？

图拉：我为什么一定要念希腊语学校呢？

母亲：等你结了婚，难道你不想亲自给你的婆婆写封信吗？尼可，来，吃啊！

我们住在芝加哥近郊，是有品味并且谦和的中产社区。但我们的屋子是仿帕台农神庙建造的，有科林斯式的圆柱子和希腊神像守护。如果邻居对我们的背景不清楚的话，他们只要看看我家给希腊国旗的精致贡品就行了。

我爸爸对两件事深信不疑：希腊人应当教育非希腊人成为希腊人；温帝思牌玻璃清洁水管治百病——上至牛皮藓下至毒葛。

六年后，我十二岁大，我完美无缺的姐姐雅典娜十五岁，弟弟尼可十一岁。每天早晨，爸爸都要给我们上一堂课，讲人类历史上最伟大的希腊文明。

爸爸：好的，现在说出希腊人最先做的三件事。

雅典娜：天文、哲学和民主。

爸爸：太好了！很好！

我希望过一种不同的生活。我希望自己再勇敢点，再漂亮点，或者幸福开心，可这只是胡思乱想，因为我的生活总是一成不变。

图拉：（接电话）你好，这里是米开朗基罗旅行社，您需要什么？这个，当然了，我们就是这么做的。当然。噢，对的。这个嘛，您现在可以预订。我会为您保留座位。请稍等。没问题。好的。您想预订的时候请给我电话。好，谢谢您！再见。

伊恩：嗨！

图拉：嗨！你要不要小册子看看？啊！（摔倒）我找到了！

（教堂里奏起《婚礼进行曲》）

注释:

1) blonde [blCnd] a. 金发碧眼的

2) delicate [5delikit] a. 精巧的

3) swarthy [5swC:Ti] a. 黑皮肤的

4) sideburns [5said7bC:ns] n. 连鬓胡子，鬓角

5) side dish [said diF] n. 正菜外的附加菜

6) tasteful [5teistful] a. 有鉴赏力的

7) model [5mCdl] v. 模仿

8) Parthenon [5pB:WinEn] n. 帕特农神庙

9) Corinthian [kE5rinWiEn] n. 科林斯式

10) column [5kRlEm] n. 柱子

11) heritage [5heritidV] n. 传统，遗产

12) tribute [5tribju:t] n. 供品

13) ailment [5eilmEnt] n. 疾病

14) psoriasis [psC(:)5raiEsis] n. 牛皮藓

15) ivy [5aivi] n. 常春藤

16) brochure [brEu5FjuE] n. 小册子