She's a remarkable girl.

　　新泽西州最年轻的上诉法院法官

　　The youngest appeals court judge in New Jersey

　　还两次获得奥运会铜牌

　　and a two-time Olympic bronze medalist.

　　那你肯定非常高兴

　　You must be very happy.

　　为什么  又不是我要娶她

　　Why? I'm not marrying her.

　　你最近怎么样

　　So,how about you?

　　跟什么有趣的人在交往吗

　　Are you seeing anyone interesting?

　　我不确定她是不是有趣  不过...

　　Well,I'm not sure about interesting,but...

　　谢尔顿  还不是时候

　　Not the time,Sheldon.

　　好吧

　　Very well.

　　我们更换话题

　　Shall we switch topics

　　谈谈牛顿或莱布尼茨吧[两人曾先后独立发明微积分]

　　to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz?

　　没事的  谢尔顿

　　It's all right,Sheldon.

　　我会假装

　　I will just pretend

　　莱纳德没叫你瞒着我

　　that Leonard's not withholding information.

　　虽然我仍要指出  莱纳德

　　Although,I will point out,Leonard,

　　我是名训练有素的精神病学家

　　that I am a trained psychiatrist

　　你现在这偷偷摸摸欲盖弥彰的举动

　　and you are exhibiting the same secretive behavioral tics

　　跟你小时候学着手淫那会没什么两样

　　that accompanied your learning to masturbate.

　　莱纳德  她太了不起了

　　Isn't she brilliant,Leonard?

　　我真羡慕你

　　How I envy you.

　　霍华德

　　So,Howard,

　　你跟拉杰  终于鼓起了勇气

　　have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage

　　向彼此表白了你们潜在的同性恋情结吗

　　to express your latent homosexual feelings toward one another?

　　什么  没有

　　What? No.

　　为什么没有

　　Why not?

　　因为我们彼此之间  并没有

　　Because we don't have latent homosexual feelings

　　潜在的同性恋情结

　　toward one another.

　　我明白了

　　I see.

　　不  我说真的

　　No,really.

　　我现在有女朋友了

　　I have a girlfriend now.

　　那她今晚在哪呢

　　And where is she this evening?

　　她有事出了城

　　She had to go out of town.

　　她祖母去世了

　　Her grandmother died.

　　我明白了

　　I see.

　　她祖母去世了

　　Her grandmother died.

　　我说真的

　　Honest to God.

　　莱纳德  告诉她我有女朋友了

　　Leonard,tell her I have a girlfriend.

　　我不懂你在说什么

　　I don't know what you're talking about.

　　你什么意思  不懂我在说什么

　　What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about?

　　告诉她我有女朋友了

　　Tell her I have a girlfriend!

　　好吧

　　All right.

　　他"有女朋友了"

　　He "has" a "girlfriend."

　　她叫伯纳黛特  也在当女侍应

　　Her name is Bernadette. She's working as a waitress,

　　不过还同时上学  想成为微生物学家

　　but she's going to school to be a microbiologist.

　　霍华德  记住  你越是执着于

　　Howard,keep in mind that the more passionately

　　坚持这样的想法

　　you stick to this construct,

　　对你同伴的伤害  也就越大

　　the more you're hurting your partner.

　　你真以为对着我耳朵这么讲话有用吗

　　Do you really think your lips in my ear is helping?

　　抱歉我来晚了

　　Hi. Sorry I'm late.

　　很高兴你来了  坐

　　Oh,glad you're here. Uh,sit down.

　　我去给你拿个碟子

　　I'll get you a plate.

　　妈  记得佩妮吧

　　Mom,you remember Penny.

　　当然  那个有着无法释怀的恋父情结的

　　Oh,yes,the waitress slash actress

　　女招待兼女演员

　　with the unresolved father issues.

　　他最终正视到

　　Has he finally come to terms

　　他家的小小击球手  胸部渐隆了吗

　　with his little slugger growing breasts?

　　他送了我个足球和棒球手套做圣诞礼物

　　Well,he sent me a football and a catcher's mitt for Christmas,

　　所以我想还是没有吧

　　So I'm going to say no.

　　如果这算安慰  我们都很垂涎你的丰胸

　　If it helps,we're all good with your breasts.

　　典型的过度代偿行为

　　Classic overcompensation.

　　说到父亲  莱纳德

　　Oh,speaking of fathers,Leonard,

　　我想起来了  我和你爸离婚了

　　That reminds me,I'm divorcing your father.

　　什么

　　What?!

　　他背着我出轨

　　Yes. He was cheating on me.

　　-不是吧  -就是  和一个什么

　　- No!  - Yes,with some waitress

　　大学餐厅里的女招待

　　From the university cafeteria.

　　难以置信吧

　　Can you believe it?

　　居然和一个女招待

　　A waitress?

　　无意冒犯  亲爱的

　　Oh,no offense,dear.

　　没事  不知怎的听起来更像称赞

　　No,it sounded like a compliment.

　　什么时候的事情

　　When did this happen?

　　让我想想

　　Mmm,well,let's see.

　　谢尔顿  我什么时候和他离婚的

　　Sheldon,when did I leave Leonard's father?

　　9月22日

　　September 22.

　　对了  想起来了

　　Oh,yes,that's right.

　　就在莱纳德的狗狗死后一周

　　The weekend after Leonard's dog died.

　　米琪死了吗

　　Mitzy's dead?!

　　她已经又老又瞎了  莱纳德

　　She was old and blind,Leonard.

　　我们也无能为力

　　What choice did we have?

　　我真不敢相信

　　I don't believe this.

　　为什么我是最后一个知道的

　　Why am I the last to know?!

　　不好意思  莱纳德  离婚的是我

　　Excuse me,Leonard,I am the one who's getting a divorce,

　　死的是米琪

　　Mitzy is the one who is dead.

　　你这么大惊小怪干嘛

　　Why are you the one making a fuss?

　　好吧

　　You're right.

　　我真是抱歉

　　I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.

　　过分的是我行了吧

　　I'm way out of line!

　　佩妮  你有什么新鲜事儿吗

　　So,Penny,what's new in your life?

　　没

　　Nothing.

　　鬼都没有

　　Not a damn thing.

　　谢谢你开车送我回酒店

　　Thank you for driving me back to my hotel.

　　没事儿

　　Oh,it's not a problem.

　　我本想让莱纳德送我

　　I was going to ask Leonard to do it,

　　但他似乎有点情绪波动

　　But he seemed a bit emotionally unstable

　　这样的人可不能操纵重型机械

　　And you don't want someone like that operating heavy machinery.

　　没错  我同意

　　No,you do not.

　　你车上的"检查引擎"提示灯亮了

　　Your "check engine" light is on.

　　是啊  我真该贴张贴纸上去

　　Yeah,I gotta put a sticker over that.

　　离婚一定让你感到伤心欲绝吧

　　So,uh,you must be devastated about your divorce.

　　一点也不

　　Oh,not at all.

　　倒是坐在一辆不进行例行维护的汽车里

　　But I am a bit distressed to be in a vehicle

　　让我感到有些焦虑

　　That's not subjected to regular maintenance.

　　等等  你的婚姻终结了

　　Come on,I mean,you're not upset

　　你却一点不难过吗

　　that your marriage is over?

　　一开始  我感到类似悲伤

　　Well,initially I felt something akin to grief

　　或近似生气的情绪

　　And perhaps anger,

　　但是在那不要脸的狗杂种背叛我之后

　　But that's the natural reaction of the limbic system

　　大脑边缘系统的自然反应

　　To being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.

　　很有理

　　Sure,sure.

　　但好在我已经8年没和他发生性关系了

　　Thankfully,my shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact

　　这也多少减轻了打击程度

　　That I haven't had intercourse with him in eight years.

　　居然有八年

　　Eight years?

　　这没什么

　　Oh,that's nothing.

　　自1982年来  性高潮问题都是我自行解决

　　I've been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.

　　欧耶

　　Yikes.

　　笑什么

　　What's so funny?

　　我性高潮时都用这个词儿  "欧耶"

　　That's exactly what I say during orgasms: "Yikes."

　　我现在真想喝一杯

　　You know what? I could use a drink.

　　顺道去喝一杯吗

　　Do you want to stop for a drink?

　　-我不喝酒  -有我教你呢

　　- Oh,I don't drink.  - I do,I'll teach you.

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard?

　　莱纳德

　　Leonard...?

　　干嘛

　　What is it?

　　我泡了茶

　　I made tea.

　　我不想喝茶

　　I don't want tea.

　　又不是泡给你喝的

　　I didn't make tea for you.

　　这是我的茶

　　This is my tea.

　　那你告诉我干嘛

　　Then why are you telling me?

　　这算是开场白

　　It's a conversation starter.

　　这开场白烂透了

　　That's a lousy conversation starter.

　　是吗  我们不是开始聊天了吗

　　Oh,is it? We're conversing.

　　将军  你输了

　　Checkmate.

　　你到底想要干嘛  谢尔顿

　　What do you want,Sheldon?

　　我想要从企业号星舰飞船上

　　What I want is to be departing the starship Enterprise

　　乘坐单人穿梭机前往由我统治的星球

　　In a one-man shuttle craft headed to the planetoid I rule

　　著名的谢尔顿阿尔法5号星球

　　Known as Sheldon Alpha Five.

　　这我也想

　　I want that too.

　　我问你来这里干嘛

　　Why are you here?

　　当然是来安慰你

　　To comfort you,of course.

　　哦不  这个位置一点也不好

　　No,that's not going to work at all.

　　我还是到那边去安慰你吧

　　I'll comfort you from over here.

　　莱纳德  你现在的心理状态

　　Leonard,what you're experiencing

　　是典型的荣格主义危机[著名瑞士心理学家]

　　Is a classic Jungian crisis

　　个体随着年龄的增长会哀悼

　　In which the aging individual mourns the loss

　　不可能实现的理想家庭成员的缺失

　　Of the never-to-be realized ideal family unit.

　　多谢  真是倍感安慰

　　Thank you,that's very comforting.

　　我还没说到安慰部分呢

　　That's not the comforting part.

　　还没说到啊

　　It's not?

　　当然

　　No,no.

　　安慰部分是  对于你现在的感受

　　The comforting part is that the Germans

　　德国人提出了一个专业术语

　　Have a term for what you're feeling.

　　悲观主义

　　Weltschmerz.

　　意思是

　　It means

　　由假设与理想世界和现实世界之间

　　the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is

　　比较产生的落差从而导致的抑郁情绪

　　To a hypothetical,idealized world.