Oh,damn,they canceled my Visa.

　　哦也  新的万事达卡

　　Oh,yay,a new MasterCard!

　　干嘛

　　What?

　　我本来想拿信件

　　I was going to get my mail.

　　拿啊

　　Okay.

　　难道你想通过心灵感应来拿吗

　　Are... are you hoping to get it telepathically?

　　你是说意念取物吧

　　I think you mean telekinetically.

　　不是

　　And no.

　　我只是不确定用哪种社交礼节

　　I just wasn't sure of the proper protocol

　　因为你和莱纳德如今不交媾了

　　now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.

　　老天  你就不能说"不再见面交往"吗

　　God,can we please just say "no longer seeing each other"?

　　那得真的不见才行

　　Well,we could if it were true.

　　可你们住在同一栋楼里

　　But as you live in the same building,

　　低头不见抬头见

　　you see each other all the time.

　　唯一改变的变量是交媾

　　The variable which has changed is the coitus.

　　咱来定个协议

　　Okay,here's the protocol:

　　你我继续做朋友

　　you and I are still friends,

　　还有你别再说"交媾"

　　and you stop saying "coitus."

　　好啊

　　Good,good.

　　我很高兴我们还是朋友

　　I'm glad we're still friends.

　　真的吗

　　Really?

　　当然  适应你出现在我日常生活中

　　Oh,yes. It was a lot of work

　　可花了我不少功夫

　　to accommodate you in my life.

　　而我很讨厌白费功夫

　　I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.

　　好吧

　　Right.

　　再问清楚  我不能跟所有人说交媾

　　Just to be clear,do I have to stop

　　还是只是不能跟你说

　　saying "coitus" with everyone or just you?

　　所有人

　　Everyone.

　　协议条款真苛刻

　　Harsh terms.

　　不过没关系  我可以用"性交"代替

　　But all right-- I'll just substitute "intercourse."

　　这下好了

　　Great.

　　或者用"私通"

　　Or "fornication."

　　但这个带有批评色彩

　　Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones,

　　还是作为备用吧

　　so I'll hold that in reserve.

　　你最近怎样

　　So,how you been?

　　我的存在是个连续统一体

　　Well,my existence is a continuum,

　　所以在指定期间的每个时间点都是一样的

　　so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.

　　你就是逗我玩  是吧

　　You're just coitusing with me,aren't you?

　　逗你玩

　　Bazinga.

　　莱纳德好吗

　　How's Leonard doing?

　　他表面很好

　　He seems all right.

　　但他花了很长时间

　　Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time

　　盯着你的照片

　　looking at photographs of you

　　嗅着你枕过的枕头

　　and smelling the pillow you slept on.

　　我想起来了

　　Oh,but now that I think of it,

　　他叫我不要告诉你

　　he asked me not to tell you that.

　　我会假装没听见

　　I'll pretend I didn't hear it.

　　我宁愿你假装我没说过

　　I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it.

　　你买了意大利妈妈大蒜意粉酱

　　I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.

　　对

　　Yep.

　　我妈妈也用这种酱

　　That's the sauce my mother uses.

　　她喜欢意式烹饪

　　She likes cooking Italian because according to her,

　　她说罗马人也这么做给耶稣吃

　　that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.

　　有意思

　　Interesting.

　　我改天晚上叫你过来吃

　　I'll have to have you over for spaghetti some night.

　　我现在就饿了

　　I'm hungry now.

　　好吧

　　Oh. Um,okay.

　　那一小时后过来吧

　　Why don't you give me an hour and come over?

　　能不能切点热狗丁

　　Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks

　　加到酱汁里

　　and mix them in with the sauce?

　　我没有热狗

　　I don't have hot dogs.

　　没关系  我有

　　{\c I do.

　　你就要做我妈妈所说的"美意大餐"

　　Oh! You're in for what my mother calls "a real Eye-talian treat".

　　你去哪了

　　Hey,where you been?

　　我刚刚和佩妮聊天呢

　　I was talking with Penny.

　　你怎么能这样

　　What's wrong with you?

　　你不能和室友的前任一起玩

　　You can't hang out with your roommate's ex.

　　这未免太逊了

　　That's totally uncool.

　　没关系  我不在乎

　　No,it's fine. I don't care.

　　我已经走出来了

　　I'm over it.

　　对  走出来了  所以他整天都在怨念

　　{\c that's why he's been whining all day

　　要发明《黑超战警》里的洗脑装置

　　about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.

　　他有进展了吗

　　Is he making any progress?

　　因为我想忘掉本?阿弗莱克居然演过《超胆侠》

　　Because I'd like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.

　　本?阿弗莱克也会想洗脑的

　　So would Ben Affleck.

　　重点是  面对这种情况

　　The point is,in a situation like this

　　你得做出选择

　　you got to pick sides.

　　要么选莱纳德队  要么选择佩妮队

　　You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.

　　哪个是选剩下的

　　Which one picks last?

　　什么

　　What?

　　我通常都只能在选剩下的那队

　　Well,usually I'm on the team that picks last.

　　除非有坐轮椅的孩子一起玩

　　Unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.

　　谢尔顿  我给你买了陈皮鸡丁

　　Sheldon,I got you your tangerine chicken.

　　你应该饿了吧

　　I hope you're hungry.

　　我当然饿了

　　Well,of course I'm hungry.

　　而且我没打算跟别的队吃饭

　　And as I have no plans to eat with any other team,

　　我会津津有味地

　　I will consume my tangerine chicken

　　吃光陈皮鸡丁

　　with the appropriate gusto.

　　好吧

　　Okay.

　　只是出于好奇  我们还有热狗吗

　　Just out of curiosity,do we still have hot dogs?

　　不知道  怎么了

　　I don't know. Why?

　　吃饭时随便聊聊而已

　　Just making dinner conversation.

　　加油  小莱队

　　Go,Team Leonard!

　　啊  太好吃了

　　Oh,God,this is good.

　　我问你个问题

　　Let me ask you a question.

　　你觉得你会因为

　　Do you believe you're going to go to hell

　　吃糖醋排骨而下地狱吗

　　for eating sweet and sour pork?

　　犹太人不相信有地狱

　　Jews don't have hell.

　　我们相信有胃酸倒流

　　We have acid reflux.

　　你要吃最后一只饺子吗  谢尔顿

　　Do you want the last dumpling,Sheldon?

　　当然

　　Certainly.

　　我又没有因为很快要吃第二餐

　　It's not like I have to moderate my food intake

　　而故意限制食物摄入量

　　because I'm planning on eating again very shortly.

　　大家今晚想玩什么

　　So,you guys want to do something tonight?

　　我不行

　　Nah,I can't.

　　我要去水中有氧运动班接我妈

　　I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class.

　　十八个超重妇女在游泳池里

　　18 overweight women flapping their arm fat

　　甩着肥大的手臂

　　in a swimming pool.

　　就像海洋世界里的海牛

　　Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.

　　你呢  拉杰

　　What about you,Raj?

　　这算什么

　　Oh,there it is:

　　你没有女朋友了

　　now that you don't have a girlfriend,

　　就又想跟我玩了

　　you want to hang out with me again.

　　-我什么时候没跟你玩了  -少来了

　　- I never stopped hanging out with you. - Oh,please,

　　大家都清楚你没有人了

　　we all know I'm the friend you call

　　才会来找我

　　when you have no other options.

　　如果我们是正义联盟  我就是海王子

　　If we were the Justice League,I'd be Aquaman.

　　我倒希望你是海王子

　　I wish you were Aquaman.

　　我就能派你去老人池里把我妈舀出来

　　Then I could send you to scoop my mom out of the old lady tank.

　　抱歉  我渴了  我要去冰箱里

　　Excuse me,I'm thirsty,so I'm going to go to the refrigerator

　　拿点清凉饮料喝

　　and get myself a refreshing beverage.

　　算了  我今晚就一个人过吧

　　You know what? I'll just spend the evening alone.

　　怎么  我突然就不配陪你了

　　What,suddenly I'm not good enough for you?

　　我最爱饮料了

　　I do so love beverages.

　　我现在要去饭后散步了

　　Now I think I'll take my after-dinner walk.

　　你什么时候开始饭后散步了

　　Since when do you take after-dinner walks?

　　你什么时候开始散步了

　　Yeah,since when do you take walks?

　　我在网上看过一篇论文  饭后百步走

　　I read a study online that walking after a meal

　　一种有利于神经细胞间冲动传导的有机物

　　不仅有助于消化  还能增加5-羟色胺的含量

　　not only aids in digestion,but increases serotonin,

　　而且你们也知道的  如果说相比提神饮料

　　and you know me,if there's one thing I like

　　我更喜欢什么  那肯定就是5-羟色胺了  拜拜

　　more than a refreshing beverage,it's serotonin. Bye-bye.

　　等等  我和你一起走

　　Hold on. I'll walk down with you.

　　没那个必要吧

　　That's not necessary.

　　你先走吧

　　You can go first.

　　要么咱俩一起走

　　Or we could go together.

　　我想不出什么理由拒绝你

　　I can't think of a reason why not.

　　咱们走吧

　　Let's go.

　　等一下

　　Hold on.

　　没事  我还是想不出什么理由

　　Nope,no reason.

　　我好想你

　　I've missed you.

　　行了  代我向你妈妈问好

　　All right,say hello to your mother for me.

　　行啊

　　Okay.