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I love that Elmo, Daniel Gilbert is a professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of "Stumbling on Happiness", Professor Gilbert, good morning to you, (Good morning) can I call you Dan? (I appreciate it.)
I wanna ask you, everybody thinks, or most people think if I just lose some weight or I get a new job like I did ,or I meet somebody and fall in love that I'm gonna find happiness. And Yet, happiness seems to fade. So why are we so lousy at predicting what's gonna make us happy?
Well, that's a great question, one that economists, psychologists and neuro-scientists have been thinking about now for over a decade. You know those things do make you happy, they just don't make you happy for as long as you anticipate. The brain is designed to respond to changes, so the moment you change from somebody who doesn't own a convertible to somebody who does you do feel happy. It's that moment of transition that you're imagining when you think convertible will make you happy, it does, but not for a very long time. We fail to think about how happiness will wear, how it will wear in the long way.
So in a few months,I'm gonna be miserable?
Well I wouldn't say miserable but the, ah, exhilaration of hosting the Today Show will become more ordinary, the extraordinary becomes ordinary as things become familiar and our emotional reactions fade.
And you've said in your book that actually happiness is a place you visit, it's not a place you stay, why is that?
Well you know, happiness is a noun, then, so we make us a mistake of thinking of it like an object, that's a toaster and once I can get it, then that's mine, then I get to keep it. Happiness is a temporary state that we can visit, we can go there more often if we are smart about it, but it's not a place we can stay.
And perhaps may be a place we shouldn't stay?
Well certainly not a place we shouldn't stay. Think about what emotions are for? Why is nature designed us to even have them? Emotions are signals; they are your brain's way of telling you when you're doing something right and something wrong for your own survival. You know, emotions are a compass, what good is a compass? It's always stuck on north? It doesn't tell you what to do next.
On the other hand, we want some tips that will help us to find happiness where we can. And you've studied the science of happiness; you've concluded that our greatest source of happiness comes from our relationships with friends and family. That sounds so obvious.
It does sound obvious, but if it were obvious enough, more people would be happy, wouldn't they? It's indeed the case. We're social mammals, and most of our happiness comes from our interactions and our relationships with other people. I often ask people if you could lose your friends or your eyesight, which would you choose? And they at least pause for a moment and think about it, that's a no-brainer. Blind people are ever being as happy as sighted people, but lonely people are not as happy as people with friends.
And you say forget about the big events, it's the small moments that count?
Well it turns out that it's the number of good things that happen in a day that predict your happiness, not the size of those good things. So indeed, for me ,I walk to work and I walk back from work, and neither of these things makes me euphoric, but it happens reliably twice every day, five days a week, that's a source of happiness.
You also suggest that it's important to value your experiences over objects.
This is true. You know, economists will say "if money doesn't make you happier, you're spending it wrong". And indeed there's some wisdom to that.Because most people think that a car is a more prudent investment, say, than a vacation, and an object lasts, and therefore it has this, durable power, and we should invest in these kinds of things. It turns out not to be true. Experiences tend to create more happiness than objects all other things being equal. Because objects have this annoying property of hanging around in the driveway until they start to disappoint us, vacations leave nothing but happy memories.
And finally you suggest that we shouldn't sweat every decision that no matter which way we flip the coin, and it will work out ok in the end. Is it a little of, of being happy, self-delusion, do you think, (well) convincing ourselves?
I'm not gonna say self-delusion, but it certainly is self-generated. We do know from a lot of research that people tend to be pretty happy no matter which way they decide when they're making decisions. Decisions look very important when you're in the act of choosing, but once having chosen, the two alternatives between which you are choosing tend to come together.
Are you happy today?
Oh! I'm very happy today.
Good I'm very happy today too.
Good, (Nice..) we must be doing the right thing. (Yes)Nice to meet you ,Dan Gilbert, thank you so much. If you like to learn more about happiness, just go to our website at Today.MSNBC.com
1.lousy: adj. (infml 口) very bad or ill 极坏的; 极不适的
2.exhilaration:n. Exhilaration is a strong feeling of excitement and happiness. 愉快的心情; 高兴
3.euphoric: adj.If you are euphoric, you feel intense happiness and excitement.心情愉快的; 心满意足的
4.self-delusion:n. Self-delusion is the state of having a false idea about yourself or the situation you are in.自欺
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