Dear Annie:

I am in a dead-end marriage and also am the caregiver for my husband's 85-year-old invalid mother. After my mother-in-law came out of the hospital two years ago, I was the only one who volunteered to take her in. I thought it would bring my husband and me closer, but it has only created more problems.

He won't even help me with her unless I start a fight about it. My husband's siblings－all four of them－said, "We'll help whenever you need something," and changed their minds shortly after she moved in. They visit her once a week and think it's enough. She is THEIR mother, not mine. My mother-in-law is a nice lady who helped me in the past. But it's a burden to be tied down 24/7. Any suggestions? － Burned OutDear Burned Out:

Being a caregiver is hard work and you are to be commended for taking on this often thankless job. Have your husband get his siblings together with you and create a schedule so each one is responsible for Mom one afternoon a week (or whatever you can work out). Or ask them to contribute financially to the cost of a senior day care program or home assistance. We also recommend you contact the Family Caregiver Alliance for help, support, information and resources.