Last Christmas, I spent the day with my sister and her family. I had purchased a purse for my 18-year-old niece, only to be told by her mother that her taste ran toward Coach or Chanel, and would I please take it back. I did so and sent my niece a gift card to replace the "unwanted" present. For her birthday, I didn't want to repeat my mistake so I gave her another gift card. I never received a thank-you note for either.

I realize teenagers are sporadic about writing notes, but I question my sister's example to her daughter of not accepting a gift graciously, whether you like it or not.

Since Christmas is coming soon, should I just stick with the gift card or chance another returned present? If I do the latter and get the same result, how should I respond?－Past Present

Dear Past Present:

Your sister and her daughter have terrible manners. If you wish to get your niece a gift, buy whatever you like and make sure it comes with a gift receipt. If she doesn't like it, let HER return it and get whatever she prefers. To you, her only words should be: "Thank you so much for the lovely gift."