Dear Annie:

I've been married to "Clem" for two years. I have a full-time job and a part-time job, plus I do all the household chores. Many nights I only get four or five hours of sleep.

Clem works part time and is home a lot. He expects me to pay the bills and also to pay for the groceries. When we go out to eat or to see a movie, I usually pay for that, too.

I don't feel this is fair, but whenever I mention it, Clem goes into a rant about how he has to do everything and maybe I should just find another place to live. I can't leave. Am I wrong to feel like all I am is a cash cow and a maid? － Moo Laa in Iowa

Dear Iowa:

Even though Clem contributes little, he still controls your money and then uses anger and threats to make you behave the way he wants. Is there a reason Clem doesn't have a full-time job? Is he incapable of doing household chores to lighten your load?

You don't mention love and apparently there are no children, so if Clem is simply unmotivated and emotionally abusive, why do you want to stay in this relationship? Get counseling, with or without him, and figure out your next step.