Dear Annie:

When my husband retired from the military, he was offered a great job in another state.

The problem is this city. It is unfriendly, crime-ridden and filled with alcoholics and people who dump trash everywhere. I am also sick of the weather. It is either hot and dry or hotter and drier.

After four years, I have made no friends. I find myself crying more often than not. I find myself being overly critical of things that used to just roll off me. I need friends－women to shop with, lunch with and do all those other girl things.

My husband told me of other wives who hated this place at first, but after 10 years of antidepressants ended up loving it. But I don't want to take drugs for 10 years.

My husband doesn't want to move because he likes his job. Divorce is not an option. Any suggestions? － Not the Land of Enchantment

Dear Not:

No one should need drugs in order to adapt to a new home. Invite some of your husband's co-workers and their spouses for dinner. Start a book club. Host a holiday party for the neighbors. Developing friendships takes time and effort. If you are stuck in this city, please don't give up trying to make connections.