【荆棘鸟】第六章 21(在线收听

这使他焦躁不安,辗转反侧。同时,他承认还有另一个孤独的人与梅吉同时存在着:那就是这个被他击败的冷酷残忍的母老虎,这个被他愚弄的傲慢专横的女人。哦,他一直就打算这样干的!这个老蜘蛛决不会从他这里得到什么好处。
  终于,他设法摆脱了玛丽·卡森,和梅吉一起来到了小小的墓地中,站在那苍白的、表情平和、毫无复仇之心的守护神的阴影下。梅吉的脸上透出畏缩恐惧的表情,抬头凝望着他那没有生气的平和的脸。他感到,在这有感情的人和无感情的神之间有一种强烈的对比。可是,这件事和他实在没有什么关系;而应当由她的母亲或父亲去查明她到底出了什么事;然而,他却象个咯咯叫的老母鸡一样迫在她后面,他在这儿到底算是干什么呢?这仅仅是因为,她的父母什么都没看出来的事,或在她父母看来是不起眼的事,在他看来却是庆当认真对付的。况且,他是一个教士,必须安慰精神上感到孤独或绝望的人。看到她的不幸,他无法忍受;然而,种种事情使他和她连在一起,也使他为之却步。他生活中的许多事情和回忆都是和她联系在一起的,他感到害怕。他害怕那个人离不开他,他也离不开那个人;但是,他对她的爱和他的教士的本能使他获得了一种必不可少的精神力量。这种精神力量使他抵挡住了那股难以摆脱的恐惧。
  当她听见他从草地上走来的时候,她转过身来,而对着他,两手叠放在下摆前,低头看着自己的脚。他在她的身边坐了下来,抱着膝头,那件皱皱巴巴的法衣只有穿在这位大方从容的人身上,才能显得如此优雅。他断定,他用不着旁敲侧击兜圈子,如果那样的话,她可能会回避问题的。
  "怎么回事,梅吉?"
  "什么事也没有,神父。"
  "我不信。"
  "求求你,神父,求求你!我不能告诉你!"
  "哦,梅吉,你不老实!你什么都可以告诉我,天底下的任何事都可以告诉我。
 
couldn't always overcome his politic wisdom, the purring content he derived from watching his charm work on such a cantankerous, refractory subject as Mary Carson. While that long-dormant care for the welfare of a single other person champed and stamped up and down his mind, he acknowledged the existence of another entity dwelling side by side with it: the cat-cold cruelty of getting the better of, making a fool of a conceited, masterful woman. Oh, he'd always liked to do that! The old spider would never get the better of him.
Eventually he managed to shake free of Mary Carson and run Meggie to earth in the little graveyard under the shadow of the pallid, unwarlike avenging angel. She was staring up into its mawkishly placid face with shrinking fear written on her own, an exquisite contrast between the feeling and the unfeeling, he thought. But what was he doing here, chasing after her like a clucky old hen when it was really none of his business, when it ought to be her mpother or her father to find out what was the matter? Only that they hadn't seen anything wrong, that she didn't matter to them the way she mattered to him. And that he was a priest, he must give comfort to the lonely or the despairing in spirit. He couldn't bear to see her unhappy, yet he shrank from the way he was tying himself to her by an accumulation of events. He was making a whole arsenal of happenings and memories out of her, and he was afraid. His love for her and his priestly instinct to offer himself in any required spiritual capacity warred with an obsessive horror of becoming utterly necessary to someone human, and of having someone human become utterly necessary to himself. As she heard him walk across the grass she turned to confront him, folding her hands in her lap and looking down at her feet. He sat near her, arms locked around his knees, the soutane in folds no more graceful than the easy length of the body inhabiting it. No sense beating around the bush, he decided; if she could, she would evade him.
"What's the matter, Meggie?"
"Nothing, Father."
"I don't believe you."
"Please, Father, please! I can't tell you!"
"Oh, Meggie! Ye of little faith! You can tell me anything, anything under the sun.
  原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/syysdw/jjn/399309.html