What? I don't lie to her. Oh, we know you don't lie to her.  什么嘛?我不对她撒谎。你是没跟她撒过谎。

Thank you. Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these. 或许这里有块曲奇，能帮你解答领域选择问题哦

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. 谢谢，佩妮，只有一种中间夹东西的曲奇饼能解决人生问题，那是奥利奥

Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch. 紧急时刻，花生饼干也可以

Come on, open it. I bet it says something great. 来吧，打开它，我赌幸运纸条上写的是好话

This is Asian fusion. 这是亚式混合餐厅

For all you know, there's a tiny Chihuahua in here. Fine, I'll go. 里面说不定是只小吉娃娃呢。好吧，我要打开看看

"People turn to you for guidance and wisdom." "人们向你寻求提点和智慧"

Yeah, that's a good one. No, it's not. 那个幸运纸条挺好的。才不是呢

How is that not good? 怎么不好了?

"Turn to you for wisdom"? Clearly, that cookie is mocking you. "向你寻求智慧"?很明显，那曲奇饼在嘲笑你

You'd never hear that kind of sass from a Nutter Butter. 花生饼干那可不会给你这样的嘲讽

Uh, since you're paying for dinner, I'll let that slide. Open yours. 看在你请客的份上，我就不和你斤斤计较。打开你的看看

Have you ever paid for a meal? 你吃饭有付过钱吗?

Not with money. Read. 不是用钱来付，读吧

"Your warm and fun-loving nature delights those around you." Oh, try again. "你的热情和爱玩的天性让你身边的人倍感欢乐"。换一个

Let me get this straight. 让理理思路

So, he kills this girl's father, cuts off the guy's face, and is wearing it as a mask while he makes out with her. 他杀了这个女孩的父亲，把他的脸切了下来，和女孩亲热的时候他把切下来的脸皮当面罩戴着

I'm just gonna say it. That's not okay. 我只想说，那是不行的

Why can't I be in a relationship with a girl who likes The Sound of Music? 为什么我就不能处一个喜欢《音乐之声》的女孩呢?

Raj, you are the girl in the relationship who likes The Sound of Music. 拉杰，你就是那个喜欢《音乐之声》的女孩

Hey, Penny. What's up? 嘿，佩妮，什么事?

No, Bernie's working late. Really? 不，妮妮今天加班。是吗?

Thanks for telling me. What? 谢谢你告诉我。什么事?

I'm having sex with a Catholic schoolgirl tonight. 今晚我要和一个天主教女学生滚床单

Oh, I think I see our next stop. 我想我看到下一个目的地了

You can't be serious. 你逗我玩的吧

If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I'd follow Leonard on Instagram. 如果我要把时间浪费在这种无聊的事上，我在Instagram上关注莱纳德就好了

No, come on... tonight, we are trying new things. 来吧...今晚我们玩点新花样

Oh! That's a lot of incense. 噢!这么多烟啊

Or someone set a hippie on fire. 还是谁把一个嬉皮士给烧了

Yeah, honey, I'm still stuck at work. Really? 亲爱的，我还在工作。真的吗?

Penny said that? 佩妮这么说的?

Okay, it's true. I'm sorry. 好吧，的确是这样，对不起

I'll see you at home. 回家见

Yeah, yeah, I'll put it on. 知道了，我会穿的

You and I never just hang out like this. Why is that?  我们从来没像这样出去玩过，为什么呢?

I know, it's weird, right? Yeah. We should do it more often. Oh, no. I mean, this is weird right now. 我知道，挺奇怪的对吧，是啊！我们应该一起多出来玩。不，我是说，现在这样很奇怪

Ah, it's Penny. 佩妮的信息

Is she still mad? Oh, doesn't seem like it. 她还在生气吗?看起来不像

She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her. A psychic? 她说服谢尔顿和她去了算命吧。算命?

He considers them not just mumbo jumbo, but extra-jumbo mumbo jumbo. 他觉得那不仅是"一派胡言"，更是超级版的"一派胡言"

Well, Penny can be pretty persuasive. She's gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do. 佩妮有时候挺能说服人，她就说服我做了很多我一般不会做的事

Because she has sex with you. Yeah, she does. 因为她会和你滚床单。那倒也是

Can I confess something? 我能说点心里话不?

Once in a while, I get a little jealous of how close Penny and Sheldon are. Really? 有时候，我有点嫉妒佩妮和谢尔顿走得这么近。真的吗?

I mean, not in a romantic way. It's just, she really has some sort of connection with him. 不是谈恋爱那种，但他俩真处得挺好

Well... Well, they've known each other a long time, and Penny grew up around horses, so she knows how to approach him without making him skittish. 他们毕竟相互认识这么久了，而且佩妮从小在马群里长大，她知道怎么接近他，又不吓着他

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they're friends. I just wish he'd be that comfortable around me already. 别误会，我很高兴他们是朋友，我只是希望他跟我在一起也能这么自在

It took him a long time to get comfortable around me, too. 他也花了很长时间，才和我自在相处

Really? What did you do? 真的吗?你做了什么?

Something terrible in a former life? I don't know. 大概上辈子造了什么孽吧

I gotta go. Penny ratted me out. 我得先走一步，佩妮把我卖了

FYI, she's getting you a watch for your birthday with money she took out of your wallet. 顺便告诉你，她打算送你的生日礼物是只手表，还是用从你包里顺的钱买的

I don't mean to be rude or discourteous, 我并非有意冒犯

but before we begin, I'd just like to say there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support clairvoyance of any kind. 但开始之前，我就是想说一点，任何形式的读心术都毫无科学根据

Which means... and again, no insult intended... but you're a fraud... 也就是说...再次申明，无意冒犯...你是个骗子

your profession is a swindle, and, uh, your livelihood is dependent on the gullibility of stupid people. 而你的工作是招摇撞骗，而你是靠易受骗的蠢人谋生

Again, no offense. 再次申明，我无意冒犯

All right, Sheldon, just ask your question. 行了，谢尔顿，你就问问题吧

Okay, I just did. What was it? 我问了，你猜是什么问题?

Oh, for God's sake. Look, he's a physicist who's trying to figure out what his next field of study should be. 你够了，他是个物理学家，他想知道他接下来的研究领域是什么

For your information, I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie. 实话告诉你，我刚刚问的是下一部星际迷航电影

Okay, I can answer that one: I'll be bored. 这题我来回答，《星际迷航:我会超无聊》

All right, why don't we begin? 好了，我们开始吧?

Your spirit guides are telling me that there's a woman in your life you're having problems with. 你的灵魂向导告诉我，你生活中有一位女人，你们之间出了点问题

That's an easy guess. I'm clearly an annoying person and have problems with both genders. 这很好猜，显然我这人很烦，男的女的我都合不来

Yes, you clearly are. 没错，你就是这样

But I'm seeing a specific woman that you're in a romantic relationship with. 但我看到的是某一位女士和你恋爱的那位

Oh, oh, here we go. 哇哇哇，好戏登场

Does she have dark hair? Yes! Yes! Your spirit guides are on fire! 她是不是深发色?没错!你的灵魂向导太准了!

The majority of people have dark hair. 大部分人都是深发色

Even you, at one time. 你以前也深过啊

Does she work in a similar field to you? 她和你的工作很类似?

Ha! The opposite. She's a neurobiologist, and I'm a theoretical physicist. 哈!完全相反，她是神经生物学家，而我是理论物理学家

My spirit guides can go suck an egg. 我的灵魂向导见鬼去吧

They're telling me that you have difficulty being close with her. 他们告诉我你很难与她亲近

Oh, he does. He so does. What should he do? 没错，他就是这样，该怎么办?

He should give himself to this relationship. 他应该全身心投入这段恋爱中

Once he does, all his other pursuits will come into focus. 一旦投入，其他的念想都会水到渠成

Sheldon, do you hear that? I mean, Amy is the key to your happiness. Exactly. 谢尔顿，你听到了吗?艾米就是你的解铃人。没错

Personally and professionally. 个人生活以及专业领域

Everything will fall into place once you commit to her. 你一旦全心投入这段感情，一切都会柳暗花明

You know what this is? 你知道这叫什么不?

Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances when it's truly deserved. 我一直把这个词留着到该用的时候用

This is malarkey! 这叫"信口雌黄"!

Wow, you really struck a nerve. I've never heard him use the "M" word before. 哇，你真把他惹急了，我从来没听他用过带"黄"的词

Here we go: House of a 1,000 Corpses. 来了：《千尸屋》

Now, just so you know, I was a nanny for three years, so if you get scared, I can totally change your diaper. 你知道，我做了三年的保姆，所以如果你吓尿了，我可以帮你换尿布哦

Actually, I have to tell you something. 其实，我得告诉你些事

These kind of movies really aren't my thing, so, last night, I watched it just to see what I was getting myself into. Okay. 这种类型的电影实在不是我的菜，所以昨天晚上我做了功课想看看这电影怎么样。然后呢

And I have to be honest... I thought it was disturbing and weird, and it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it. 实话说...我觉得这电影，很闹心很诡异，还让我很好奇到底什么样的人才会喜欢看啊

I wonder that, too. 我也很奇怪

Then, why do you watch these things? 那你为什么还看这种电影?

Can I tell you something without you judging me? Sure. 我告诉你，你可别误解我?当然不会

They kind of turn me on. And play. 看这些电影会提起我的"性致"。开播

Hello. I didn't expect you this evening. 你好，我不知道你今晚会来

Well, I was just feeling so bad about lying to you the other night, I wanted to make it up to you. 就是那天我晚上我对你撒谎，一直挺愧疚，我想弥补一下

And how do you propose to do that? 你打算怎么弥补?

Unless you have Gravity on Blu-ray under that skirt, I don't know where you're going with this. 除非你衬衫下面有《地心引力》蓝光光碟，不然我不懂你穿这身用意何在