PBS高端访谈:哪种反馈才是最有效的?（在线收听）

WILLIAM BRANGHAM: Now for another installment of our weekly series Brief But Spectacular. It's where people tell us about their passions. Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton Business School and an author most recently of "Option B," which he co-wrote with Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg. In his new podcast, "WorkLife," grant goes inside some of the world's most unusual workplaces to discover the secret to better work.

ADAM GRANT, Psychologist: I read a study not long ago which showed that highly creative adults grew up in families where their parents are argued more, not only argued more, but argued in front of their children, which, as a dad, I just thought was something you're never supposed to do. And yet, the more I read about this research, the more I realized that if you never disagree in front of your kids, they think there's one right answer to everything, whereas if they see you argue, they realize there might be multiple perspectives on a problem, and they have to learn to think for themselves. It's not how often parents argue that affects kids' well-being. It's how constructively they argue. There are a few rules for good arguing that I like to follow. One is to argue like you're right, but listen like you're wrong. Instead of arguing to win, you can argue to learn. And then you have to acknowledge when your opponent has a made a good point. I think most of us are terrible at hearing criticism. Think about what happens to you physically. Your shoulders start to tense. Your body tightens up. Your heart races. And you just feel like you're being physically attacked.

There's an experiment I love about how to give criticism so that other people really hear it. And it only take about 19 words: I'm giving you these comments because I have very high expectations of you, and I'm confident that you can reach them. It changes the conversation. Instead of saying, oh, no, this person is about to attack me, the person receiving the feedback says, oh, this person is trying to help me. I have spent a lot of time working with Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, and have learned a lot from watching her lead. One of the things that Sheryl Sandberg noticed was that, as she climbed up the hierarchy in her career, people stopped giving her negative feedback. Sheryl's obsessed with feedback. In fact, she's been told that she asks for too much feedback as a point of feedback. One of the things that I have watched her do in meetings is, she will open a meeting by giving herself negative feedback out loud, saying something like, I know I talk too much in meetings, and I'm trying to work on that. The other thing she often does is, she will open a meeting and go through the agenda, and then go around the room and ask for every single person to give their viewpoint before she shares hers, so that people aren't catering, you know, their opinion to what they think the boss wants to hear. When I was 26, I was barely out of grad school, and I got signed up to teach a half-day class on motivation. And after I committed, I found out it was going to be generals and colonels in the U.S. Air Force. I was half their age. They looked like they were right out of the movie "Top Gun." I walked in, and I felt like I have to establish my credentials, why I was qualified to teach the class. And I delivered the class. I could tell it wasn't going well.

And when I read the feedback forms afterwards, it was even worse than I had feared. There was one guy who wrote that there was more knowledge in the audience than on the podium. There was another who said, I gained nothing from the session, but I trust the instructor gained useful insight. It was like a dagger to the heart. And I wanted to quit. But I had already signed up to do a second session. I shifted my approach. And I walked in. And I said, I know what you're all thinking right now. What can I possibly learn from a professor who's 12 years old? Then I heard a colonel pipe up. His code name was Hawk. And he said, "No, no, that's way off. I'm pretty sure you're 13." And after that, I delivered basically a carbon copy of the same material from before, but the feedback forms were night-and-day different. And I think what I learned from that was sometimes acknowledging our weaknesses, you know, sort of admitting our limitations can actually make us stronger. My name is Adam Grant, and this is my Brief But Spectacular take on feedback.

WILLIAM BRANGHAM: You can watch all our Brief But Spectacular episodes on our Web site, PBS.org/NewsHour/Brief.

威廉·布朗汉姆：现在进行我们的另一每周系列节目《简短而壮观》。在这里人们为我们讲述他们的激情。亚当·格兰特是沃顿商学院的组织心理学家，也是最近出版的图书《选项B》的作者，该书是其与Facebook的雪莉·桑德伯格合著的作品。他的新播客《WorkLife》，讲述了一些世界上最不寻常的工作场所，用来探索获得更优工作状态的秘诀。

亚当·格兰特，心理学家：不久前我阅读了一篇研究报告，其中写道，极富创造力的成年人往往在这样的家庭中长大，他们的父母争论更多，不仅争论更多，而且还在他们孩子面前争论，但作为父亲，我真的认为这是你永远不应该做的事情。然而，我对这项研究的了解越多，我就越意识到，如果你从不在孩子面前表示不同意见，他们则认为所有事情都有一个正确的答案，而如果他们看到你的争论，他们会意识到一件事情可能存在多种观点，而他们必须学会自己思考。这并不是说父母争论的频率影响孩子的幸福。而是关于他们的争论有多少建设性。有一些好的争论原则，我想去遵循。一个人想要争论说你是对的，但是听起来像说你是错的。你可以为了学习而争论，而不是为了争取胜利。然后当你的对手说出了一个好的论点，你必须表示承认。我想当听到批评时，我们大多数人，表现得都很糟糕。想想你的身体有何变化。你的肩膀开始紧张。

你的身体收紧了。你的心脏加速了。而你就觉得你正在遭受身体上的攻击。有一个我喜欢的实验，关于如何进行批评，别人才会真正听进去。它只需要大约19个字：我给你这些评论，因为我对你给予了很高的期望，我相信你能够实现它们。这个句子改变了对话。收到反馈的人说，哦，这个人正试图帮助我；而不会说，哦，不，这个人马上要攻击我。我与Facebook首席运营官雪莉·桑德伯格一起工作了很长时间，并从观看她的领导中学到了很多东西。雪莉·桑德伯格注意到一件事情，当她在职业生涯中越爬越高时，人们不再给她负面的反馈。而雪莉痴迷于反馈。事实上，作为一条反馈意见，有人告诉她，她要求的反馈太多了。我在会议上看到她这么做，她会开一个会议，大声地给自己做出一些负面的反馈，说一些类似这样的事情，如我知道我在会议上谈得太多，我正在努力改掉这个缺点。她经常做的另一件事是，她会召开会议并完成议程，然后绕过房间，要求每个人在她分享她的观点之前给出他们自己的观点，这样人们就不会去迎合她，你知道，去说他们认为老板想听的东西。我26岁的时候，勉强从学校毕业，然后我报名教授了一个为期半天的教学课程，关于自主。在我签下这个课程之后，才发现参加这个课程的都是些美国空军的将军和上校。而我的年龄只有他们的一半。他们看起来就像是从电影《壮志凌云》中刚走出来似的。我走进教室，我觉得我必须亮出我的资历，为什么我有资格教课。我讲了那节课。我可以说这节课进展得并不顺利。当我之后阅读反馈表格时，它甚至比我担心的还要糟糕。有一个人写道，讲台上的老师知道的，还不如台下的观众/学生多。还有一个人说，我并没有从这堂课中得到什么，但我相信这位老师反而学到了有用的见解。这就像是直插心脏的匕首。我想放弃。但我已经报名参加了第二期课程。我改变了方法。然后我走进教室。我说，我知道你们现在在想什么。我能向一个12岁的教授学到些什么？然后我听到一个上校开了腔。他的代号是“鹰”。他说，“不，不，绝不可能。我很确定你有13岁了。”在那之后，我上课的内容基本上和以前的材料内容完全相同，但反馈却有了天壤之别。而且我认为通过这件事，我学到了：有时承认我们的弱点，你知道，承认我们的局限性，实际上可以使我们变得更强大。我的名字叫亚当·格兰特，这是我的《简短而壮观》，关于反馈意见。

威廉·布朗汉姆：您可以在我们的网站PBS.org/NewsHour/Brief上，观看所有《简短而壮观》的节目。