看老友记学英语 他吃粉笔吗?（在线收听）

[Scene: Central Park, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]

-Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!

没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！

-Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!

少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！

-Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?

打住，Joey，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼背又带假发？

-Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?

慢着，他吃粉笔吗？

(They all stare, bemused.)

-Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!

我只是不想她重蹈我和Carl的覆辙。

-Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.

各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且没做爱。

-Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.

听起来好像是说我的约会。

[Time Lapse]

-Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.

记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发现自己全身赤裸。

-All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.

我做过那样的梦。

-Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.

我低头一看，看见有一支电话……在那儿。

-Joey: Instead of...?

而不是……？

-Chandler: That's right.

没错。

-Joey: Never had that dream.

我没做过那样的梦

-Phoebe: No.

没有。

-Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.

all of a sudden: 突然

那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。

-Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!

他们以前不看你吗？！

-Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!

终于，我认为我应该接，结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！

[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]

-Ross: (mortified) Hi.

嗨。

-Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.

这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。

-Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?

你还好吧？

-Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...

我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙，抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖子上……

-Chandler: Cookie?

饼干？

-Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.

Carol今天把她的东西搬走了。

-Joey: Ohh.

哦

-Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.

我帮你泡杯咖啡

-Ross: Thanks.

谢谢

-Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)

哦…

-Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?

不要……别清理我的灵气。可是……别碰我的灵气就是了。

-Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!

好吧，保持晦气！

-Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.

我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。

-Monica: No you don't.

不，你不会的。

-Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!

我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！

-Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...

而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。

-Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?

没有！！行了吧？！为何大家都围着这个话题打转？连她不知道，我怎会知道。

-Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?

有时真希望自己也是个女同志。我刚刚大声说出来了吗？

-Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.

昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。

-Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M.,

hysterical: 歇斯底里的 sobbing: 呜咽，抽噎

真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话，一个女人歇斯底里地向我哭诉，

"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?

grandchildren: 孙儿女们

“我不能抱孙子了，我不能抱孙子了。”那是什么？打错了？

-Ross: Sorry.

对不起

-Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?

别闷闷不乐了，Ross。你现在很痛苦。你一肚子火,心如刀割。我能告诉你解决之道吗？

(Ross gestures his consent.)

Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!

脱衣舞酒店。你单身，有性需求。

-Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!

我不想单身的。我只想再结婚。

(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)

-Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)

我只想要一百万！

-Monica: Rachel?!

Rachel?

-Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God!

天啊，Monica，谢天谢地！

I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!

我到过你的住处，你不在。有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿，结果你真的在这儿。

-Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?

想来杯咖啡吗？

-Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.

无咖啡因的,各位，她叫Rachel，另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。

(to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?

这位叫Chandler，Phoebe，Joey。还记得我哥Ross吗？

-Rachel: Hi, sure!

当然，嗨。

-Ross: Hi.

嗨

(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)

-Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for wet bridesmaids?

你想现在告诉我们，还是等伴娘来再说？

-Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding.

婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。

I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents,

我在堆放礼物的房间里，

and I was looking at this gravy boat.

看着船形卤肉盘，

This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat.

非常漂亮的船形卤肉盘，

When all of a sudden

突然间….

(to the waitress that brought her coffee)

-Rachel: Sweet 'n' Low?

低糖吗？

I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!

我了解船形卤肉盘此Barry更能引起我的“性趣”

And then I got really freaked out,

我自己都吓了一跳，

and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.

Barry愈看愈像猪头先生。

You know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar,

我一直都认为他很眼熟。

but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there,

anyway: 不管怎样

总之,我必须离开。

and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'.

wonder: 想

我开始想，我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？

(to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go,

于是我不知该走往何处，

and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,

kinda=kind of: 有点 drift: 漂移 apart: 分开的

我知道你我日渐疏远。

but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.

但是你是我在这个城市，认识的唯一一个人。

-Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.

好像我也是唯一没被邀参加婚礼的人。

-Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...

这件事就甭提啦。