看老友记学英语 着实可悲的现实（在线收听）

That’s weird.

这很神秘。

What?

什么?

Your nails.

你的指甲。

Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones.

我知道，我从不戴假指甲的。

I just did it so my Mom wouldn’t give me grief about me biting them.

这次是为了不让我妈抱怨我咬指甲。

Oh, no, I meant that it’s weird that you only have nine now.

不，我的意思是现在你只戴着九个。

Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put… (realises)

天啊。等一下，刚才还是十个。

Oh my God! It’s in the quiche! Oh My God!

天啊! 它在乳蛋饼里! 天啊!

Okay, don’t panic. I’m gonna go to the store, I’m gonna get you another set of nails,

别慌.我现在就去商店，我将给你带回一套新的。

no one’s gonna know, and you’re gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.)

神不知鬼不觉, 你看起来依旧完美。

Oh! Oh, it’s ‘cause they’re gonna eat—that’s the problem.

哦! 但是他们会吃掉它的，这才是问题。

Honey, don’t bite your nails.

亲爱的，不要咬你的指甲。

Okay ah, please don’t freak out.

好吧, 别惊慌。

Umm, but ah, there’s a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups,

有个乳蛋饼杯里有只我的蓝指甲，

and there’s no way to know which one.

谁都不知道是哪一个杯子。

And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!

发现指甲就可以赢大奖!

I’m not freaking out.

我没惊慌。

Then why are you laughing?

那你为什么笑?

It’s nothing, it’s just that now your Father owes me five dollars.

没什么, 这样你父亲输给我5美元。

What? You bet I’d lose a nail?

什么? 你打赌我会掉一个指甲吗?

Oh no, don’t be silly. I just bet I’d need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal…)

别傻了。我打赌我会需要这些。

Frozen lasagnas?

冰冻宽面条?

You bet that I’d screw up?!

你笃信我会搞砸？

So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was…

“你雇我是因为我很优秀”都是假的咯...

No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.

不-不-不，那是真的。只是怕你又“很Monica”。

You promised Dr. Weinburg, you’d never use that phrase.

你答应过Weinburg教授，你不再使用这个词了。

Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour,

亲爱的，来吧，幽默一点，

you’ve never been able to laugh at yourself.

你从未有自嘲的风度。

That’s right. My Mom doesn’t have any faith in me!

没错。我妈从没信任过我!

Oh, that’s hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

好好笑! 哈-哈-哈-哈。

I don’t get it.

我不觉得好笑。

No, I have faith…

不，我信任你...

No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)

不! 你只是有烤宽面条!

Op, the ruined quiches are ready.

报废的乳蛋饼烤好了。