《远大前程》第12章 匹普真相大白(4)（在线收听）

May I ask，he said，how you have done so well，since you and I met on those lonely marshes？His eves were still fixed on mine，and I began to tremble．

我问你，他说，自从我和你在那个寂寞的沼泽地相见后，你是怎么富起来的？他的眼睛仍然盯着我的眼睛。我开始发抖。

I－I've been chosen to inherit a fortune，I whispered．

我,我被选中去继承一笔财富，我小声地说。

Perhaps I can guess how much，said the convict．Could it be，well，five hundred pounds a year？I stood up，holding on to the back of my chair，my heart beating like a hammer．

或许我多少能猜出来，这个逃犯说，可能是，唷，一年500英镑？我抓着椅背站起来，像揣了只小兔一样，心怦怦地跳。

The agent who arranged it all，he continued．was he perhaps a lawyer，name of Jaggers？

由监护人安排的这一切，他继续说，他或许是一名律师吧，叫贾格斯？

Suddenly I realized the awful truth．I could not speak nor breathe，and fell on to the sofa．He brought his fierce old face close to mine，and bent over me．

我突然明白了这个可怕的真相。我哑口无言，喘不过气来，瘫倒在沙发上。他带着可怕的老脸靠近我的脸伏在我上边。

Yes，Pip，dear boy， Ive made a gentleman of you！You see，I promised myself that all the money I earned out there in Australia should go to you！

是啊，匹普，亲爱的孩子，我把你培养为一名绅士！你明白，我向自己保证，把在澳大利亚挣来的钱，都将全部给你！

I'm your second father，Pip！Im not a gentleman myself，and I didnt go to school，but Ive got you，Pip！And look what a gentleman you are！And what books youve got！

我是你再生之父，匹普！我自己不是一个绅士，我没有上过学。但是，我得到了你，匹普！瞧，你是一名绅士！你有这么多书！

You'll read them to me，Pip！And Ill be proud of you even if I cant understand them！Didnt you ever think it could be me who was sending the money？

你将给我读这些书，匹普！即使我对书本一窍不通，我也会为你感到自豪！你无论如何也想不到提供给你钱的竟是我吧？

Oh no，no，no，I replied．Never，never！Wasnt any－one else involved at all？

噢，不，不，不，我回答说，从来没有想到，从来没有想到！再没有人知道此事吧？

No，just me，and Jaggers，of course．Who else could there be？Dear boy，I kept myself going，you see，through all the hard work，just by thinking of you．

没有，当然，只有我和贾格斯，还能有谁呢？亲爱的孩子，我坚持自己的信念，你明白，通过拼命地工作，就是想着你，

And I promised myself Id come back to England one day，and see my boy．He laid his band on my shoulder．

我坚信总有一天会回到英国来，见见我的孩子。他把手放在我的肩上，

Now you must find a bed for me，he added，and remember，not a word to anybody．I was sent away for life，and theyll hang me if they discover Ive come back．

现在，你必须给我找个睡觉的地方，他补充着说，并记住，不能把此事张扬出去，我是被终生发配在那儿，如果他们发现我已经回来了，将会绞死我。

My feelings were horribly confused．The man who had paid for my education and luxuries for years was risking his life to see me．

我的心情被搅得恐怖慌乱。多年来，一直给我支付用于教育和奢侈的这个人，冒着生命危险来看我。

I could not like him，in fact my whole body trembled with disgust when he touched me，but I had to protect him．

我不可能喜欢他，当他碰我时，事实上我全身是由于厌恶而发抖。但是，我必须保护他。

He went to sleep in Herberts room．After locking all the doors carefully，I sat weakly down by the fire and tried to make sense of my life．

他到赫伯特的房间去睡觉，我小心地把所有的门紧锁牢后，瘫软地坐在火炉旁，竭力地思考我的人生。

How foolish my dreams had been！ Miss Havisham had never intended to make me rich，or let me marry Estella．

我的梦想多么愚蠢！郝薇香小姐从来没有打算让我富有，也没有打算让我和艾丝黛拉结婚。

But there was something worse than that．It was for this convict，who could be caught and hanged at any moment，that I had deserted Joe．

但是，有些比这个更糟糕的事情，就是这个逃犯，他随时都会被抓到处以绞刑。还有，我已经抛弃了乔，

I could never，never，never forgive myself for that．

为这一点我从来不能，从来不能，从来不能原谅自己。