CHAPTER FIFTEEN The New Mrs. Rochester
And so I began to travel back to Thornfield hall. While I was at Gateshead, Mrs. Fairfax had written to me. She told me that all the ladies and gentlemen had left, and that Mr. Rochester had gone to London to prepare for his wedding to Blanche Ingram. It was clear to me that he would be getting married very soon.
After a long day of traveling, I decided to get out of the carriage at a little town near Thornfield and walk the rest of the way. It was a warm June evening, and I was glad to be out in the fresh air, on my way home. Of course, I had to tell myself that Thornfield was not really my home. The person I most wanted to see loved another, and soon I must leave.
And then, suddenly, I saw him. He was sitting near the gate ahead of me, writing in a notebook. He looked up and saw me.
“hello!” he cried, smiling. I was trembling at the sight of him, and I knew if I tried to speak I would cry, or say something ridiculous. So I only nodded my head and smiled.
“So it’s Jane Eyre!” he continued. “It’s just like you to walk outside in the fresh air, instead of riding in a carriage! Tell me everything that you have been doing.”
“You know that I’ve been visiting my aunt, sir, who has just died.”
“Jane, I think you must be a dream! You’ve been gone for a whole month! I was sure you had forgotten about me.”
Even though I knew I would soon lose him, his words made me so happy that I couldn’t walk away.
“Did Mrs. Fairfax tell you I’ve been to London?” he asked.
“Oh yes, sir, she did.”
“And she probably told you why I went there. Well, you must see the carriage I’ve bought her, Jane. My future wife will riding in it. I wish I were more handsome, because she is so beautiful.”
I said nothing, but thought, “To someone who loves you, you are handsome enough.”
Sometimes it seemed to me that Mr. Rochester knew what I was thinking, but this time he only smiled at me, and opened the gate.
“Come in, Jane, my dear friend,” he said, “and welcome home!”
I walked past him, I was almost crying from his great kindness and friendship, but also because I knew I loved him. Something made me turn and say quickly, before I could stop myself, “Thank you, sir, for your kind words. I’m glad to come back to you, and… wherever I am, I will always feel that where you are is my home---my only home,” I ran across the field and into the house before he could answer me.
Two weeks passed, but I heard nothing more about the wedding. Blanche Ingram lived close to Thornfield, but I never saw her. I wondered when Mr. Rochester would marry her.
It was the middle of summer, and every day the sun shone on the golden fields and the cool, green, dark forest. One evening, after Adele had gone to sleep, I went into the garden. I wanted to be alone, but then I saw that Mr. Rochester was already in the garden. I hoped that he would not see me as I walked quietly back to the house, but he turned around.
“Hello! No, don’t run back into the house, Jane, on such a lovely night. Come and walk with me.” I could not say no. so I went to join him.
“Jane,” he began, “you like living at Thornfield, don’t you? You like little Adele and Mrs. Fairfax, and I know they love you.”
“I do like it here, sire, I really don’t want to leave them.”
“I am sorry!” he said. “These things happen in life. When you begin to like living in one place, to a place, then you have to leave it.”
“Do I have to leave, sir? Leave Thornfield?”
“I’m afraid you must, Jane.”
“Then you are going to be married, sir?”
“Yes, Jane. And as you have told me, when Miss Ingram becomes my wife, you and Adele must leave the house. I am looking for a new job for you, don’t worry.”
“I don’t want to cause you trouble, sir,” I said quietly.
“Oh, it isn’t any trouble at all! In fact, I know about a very good job, that is just right for you. You’ll teach the five daughters of an Irish family, I think you’ll like Ireland, it’s a beautiful place,” he said happily.
“Sir, thank you for wanting to help me… but it’s so far away,” I said. I was trying not to cry. My heart felt as if it had been cut into pieces.
“Far away from what, Jane?”
“From England, and from Thornfield and…”
“Well?”
“From you, sir.” I could not hide my feelings any more, and began to cry. “Yes, Ireland is very far away,” he said calmly. “Let’s sit on this bench, Jane. You know, I sometimes feel as if you and I were connected. Our hearts and minds are the same in some wonderful way.”
“I wish… I wish I’d never been born!” I cried. “I wish I’d never come here!” I said what was in my heart. “Oh, I can’t bear to leave! For the first time in my life, I’ve been so happy… and I’ve met you, Mr. Rochester, and I can’t bear never to see you again. Now I have to leave. I feel as if I’m dying.”
“Why do you have to leave, Jane?” he asked innocently.
“Why? What do you mean, why?” I cried, amazed. “Because you’re marrying Miss Ingram. She wouldn’t want me here. She’s your bride.”
“My bride! I have no bride!”
He answered. “But I will have one, and you must stay!”
“I won’t stay here, I won’t!” I shouted angrily, standing up. “Do you think I can watch you marry another woman? Do you think I am a machine, with no feelings? Do you think, sir, that because I’m small and poor and not pretty, that I have no soul and no heart? Well, you’re wrong! I have as much soul and heart as you, or more! And I know my heart speaks to yours. We are equal!”
“We are!” said Mr. Rochester, taking me in his arms and kissing me. “Don’t struggle, Jane, like a wild bird!”
“Let me go, Mr. Rochester! I am not a bird—I’m a free woman!” Finally he let me go. “Yes, Jane, you must make your own decision. I ask you to spend your life with me, to be with me always.”
I could barely speak; I was both angry and terribly sad. “Mr. Rochester, you’re laughing at me! You’ve already chosen your companion for life.” Mr. Rochester looked gently and seriously at me while I cried.
“Jane,” he said, “I ask you to be my wife. You are my equal, Jane. I love you. Will you marry me? Don’t you believe me?”
“No, I do not, sir!” I answered.
“I’ll promise you! I don’t love Blanche Ingram, and she doesn’t love me. She only wanted to marry me for my money. But when she found out that I had only a little money, she forgot about me quickly. I love you, You, you strange magical person! You, small and poor and plain, I ask you to marry me!”
“You want to marry me?” I cried. “But I have no money, no family, and no friends in the world!”
“I don’t care, Jane! Say yes, quickly! It’s cruel to make me suffer like this! Give me your hand and Say, ‘Edward, I’ll marry you’! ” he cried. His face was pale in the moonlight.
“Mr. Rochester, are you serious? Do you really love me? Do you honestly want me to be your wife?” I asked seriously, looking at him.
“I swear it.”
“Then, Edward, I will marry you.”
“My darling Jane!” He held me in his arms for a long time. I felt as if I was inside a dream. Once he whispered, “No family! That’s good. No family to worry about!” and then, “I don’t care what people think!” and again and again, “Are you happy, Jane?” I could not speak, I was so happy at the thought of being with him forever.
The weather had changed while we had been talking. The sky grew dark, and the rain came down suddenly. We ran back to the house, holding hands and laughing. We were very wet when we arrived at Thornfield. We did not notice Mrs. Fairfax standing in a corner of the room, watching us.
“Good night, my darling!” Mr. Rochester said, kissing me many times. As I ran upstairs. I suddenly saw the old lady. She looked shocked.
“Tomorrow I’ll explain everything to her,” I thought. At that moment, I was too happy to think about anything except my happiness. Mr. Rochester loved me!
Outside, there was a terrible storm that lasted all night. In the morning we saw that a large old tree in the garden, which had stood for hundreds of years, had been hit by lightning and torn in half. |