Beginner's Luckby Chris RoseJames Milners hands were shaking as he sat down at his desk. The man sitting at the computer terminal next to him laughed. First time on one of these machines, is it? No! lied James, as convincingly as he could. I could us...
Eye halve a spelling checkerIt came with my pea sea.In this poem some words have been substituted by homophones - words with the same sound but different spelling. It proves that computer spelling checkers are not infallible! Eye Halve a Spelling Che...
The interesting most boring man in the world By Chris Rose People often said that Thierry Boyle was the most boring man in the world. Thierry didnt know why people thought he was so boring. Thierry thought he was quite interesting. After all, he coll...
The broken mirror, the black cat, and lots of good luckby Chris RoseNikos was an ordinary man. Nothing particularly good ever happened to him, nothing particularly bad ever happened to him. He went through life accepting the mixture of good things an...
English LessonBy Robert SeatterRoberto is playful and wants to talk about sex in cars and gear sticks. We lose ourselves in body parts: engine, carburettor, vroom, vroom. Carla likes cooking, the gnocchi her grandmother taught her how to make - a who...
Elephants, Bananas and Aunty Ethelby Chris RoseSo, I was walking along the street, on my way to work, as usual, but for some reason I was in a hurry. I wasnt really sure why I was in a hurry. And then I realised that I was holding a banana in my hand...
Albertos New Neighboursby Chris RoseAlberto took one look at his new neighbours and knew that his life was going to get more difficult. He watched them arrive in their big, noisy car and watched them get out. There they were, two of them, as big and...
A Wall in Naplesby Andrew MotionI have forgotten whatever it was I wanted to say. Also the way I wanted to say it. Form and Music. Perhaps it had something to do with - no, that's not it. More likely, I should just look at whatever there is and fix m...
The Birth of a Starby Chris Rose June 5th 2006 Henry looks carefully into the telescope which lets him see far, far away, as far away as the distant nebulae on the far edges of the Milky Way. Henry is an astronomer. He looks at the sky, and at stars...
Starshine and Non-Beingby Chuang-TzuStarshine asked Non-Being, Master, do you exist? Or do you not exist? Since he received no answer at all, Starshine set himself to watch for Non-Being. He waited to see if Non-Being would appear. He kept his eyes f...