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VOA标准英语2014--‘Bad-Mannered’ South Africans Go Back to School

时间:2014-08-31 14:45来源:互联网 提供网友:nan   字体: [ ]
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‘Bad-Mannered’ South Africans Go Back to School

JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA—

When people find out what Courtenay Carey does for a living, their body language changes.   

“They stand up straighter; they might not talk to me as much,” says the smiling, elegant blonde.

So, Carey no longer tells people she’s an “etiquette1 consultant2.”

“I’ll rather say, ‘I help teach people the social skills to feel comfortable and confident in any environment,’” she says with an easy laugh, dressed immaculately in a black blazer, matching skirt and white lace shirt.

Carey’s education means she’s eminently3 qualified4 to direct South Africa’s first School of Etiquette, located inside the opulent grounds of Le Chatelat in the plush Johannesburg suburb of Sandhurst.

Presidents, kings and queens and captains of international industry have resided at the French chateau-style mansion… But these days it hosts people of considerably5 less pomp and poise6.     

For Carey, this place of marble fountains bubbling from manicured emerald green lawns, crystal chandeliers gleaming from pressed ceilings, antique chairs, silver cutlery, fine food, whisky and wine, is the perfect setting for her unique enterprise.  

She insists: “I’m not teaching good manners here. I’m teaching behaviors and how to best suit the situation that you’re in. So, we’re actually improving your social skills because etiquette is the fine art of getting along with people.” 

Charismatic qualities  

Carey opened her school just a little more than a year ago.

“I’ve had everyone from receptionists to top economists7 attending. I’ve had some geniuses – and yet their social skills are non-existent,” she says.

People spend many years learning technical prowess at universities, Carey says, but “to their ultimate cost” they don’t feel the need to perfect their social flair8 and learn how to behave confidently and comfortably.

“If you can interact confidently, you will build better relationships, stronger relationships, get better contracts and earn higher profits, essentially,” she maintains, adding: “Most of the time whether or not you get a big contract or a great job is not about your technical skills. It’s about your soft skills - your ability to be genuinely attentive9 to people and to make them feel important because you genuinely believe that they’re important.”

These are some of the “qualities of charisma” that Carey teaches her pupils.

“There’s things like being truly interested and focused on what people are saying, looking them in the eyes, raising your eyebrows10 and waiting for people to finish what they’re saying… Make the people around you feel important. Make them feel special.

“If you are charismatic, people like you. So, if someone likes you, they will support you, they will help you, they will choose you over somebody else; you will get the promotion11 over someone else. They’ll choose your company (for) that contract.”

Cell phone sins and the proper toast    

Carey instructs clients on “polite cell phone behavior,” and says many people lose business and potential friends through careless use of the devices. 

“No phones should be seen at any social occasion. They should not be on the table; they should not be in your hand. They should be put away and if you need to you can check it every 45 minutes.”

The cardinal12 rule Carey teaches is to “pay respect and focus” to the person in front of you.

“So if someone is phoning you, you silence that phone and you carry on with the conversation. If you are expecting an urgent call, and you’re going into a meal, or a meeting, you would say in the very beginning: ‘I’m expecting an urgent call so I will have to excuse myself.’ And you sit closest to the door.”

At the School of Etiquette, pupils learn how to deliver a good toast.

“Toasting is not an art, it’s not a science. But many people panic when they have to do a toast, so they mess it up. Others think a toast is a license13 to drone on for an hour. Some people ramble14 and lose focus. What we do here is we give people an equation to work with when giving a toast,” says Carey, explaining: “Begin, be brief and bow out. Begin – say why you are toasting. Be brief – so, we’re paying homage15 to somebody here and what they’ve done really well in their lives and (bow out): here’s to (the person).”  

Let the man be chivalrous16 

One of Carey’s courses is titled ‘How to be a Gentleman.’ Another instructs women on ‘How to be more Feminine.’   

She explains it this way. “A lot of women now believe that because we are emancipated17 and we can be independent and run our own businesses and lives, that we don’t need a man to open a door for us or carry a box for us or stand back for us when we walk through a door.

“But my belief is: physically18, we are not equal; men are stronger than women. So, we need to play to that: let the man be chivalrous and hold the door open for you and be well-mannered; let him carry the heavy box for you…

“I’ve had women tell me they think chivalry19 is dead. But yet when a man opens a door for her, she doesn’t think it’s necessary to say thank you. To her, chivalry is dead because it’s dead in her mind. What I do teach women is that if a man does open the door or do a chivalrous act, you thank him and you look him in the eye.”

‘Terrible’ dining habits

‘The Art of Dining’ is a course that gives Carey an opportunity to identify the  “endless” mistakes we make when eating a meal.

“This is terrible – people leaving spoons in their cups when they’re drinking coffee… Not putting your knife and fork together. Swapping20 hands with the cutlery and shoveling the food (into your mouth).”

She teaches that dining follows a “logistical pattern.”

“Everything is done for a reason. You eat from the outside in, so that you clear your cutlery from the outside in, so that it’s not in the way. You tip the soup bowl and spoon away from you so that it doesn’t drop onto you.”

Carey is adamant21: “We’re not teaching people how to be snobby22 diners; we teach people how to dine easier, cleaner and safer.”  

Running in a field of lions   

Just before the course ends on this recent crisp winter’s evening, Carey plays a motivational DVD to the participants.

Various inspirational scenarios23 - such as a sprinter24 in a race - appear onscreen, tension heightened by dramatic music and the forceful, gruff voice of an American narrator. He exhorts25, “You’re a lion in a field of lions, all hunting the same elusive26 prey27 with a desperate starvation that says victory is the only thing that keeps you alive! So, believe that voice that says you can run a little faster and you can throw a little harder, that - for you - the laws of physics are merely a suggestion!”

After the video, the question arose: Do these students of etiquette feel like lions?

Dudu Tsotetsi and another classmate, Maureen Daniels, laughed heartily28.

Tsotetsi says the School of Etiquette course has “most definitely” taught her skills that will make her “much more confident” in business.

“I’ve learned a lot about making the correct eye contact and body language with people, things that people see before you even start talking,” she explains.

Daniels acknowledges she was initially29 “very negative” when the course began. 

“I thought: ‘Oh, it’s another training; another whole day in a session where we’re just going to listen and listen and listen.’ I was wrong.”  

Daniels believes the “expertise” she’s learned from Carey will help her professionally and personally.

“We’re coming out with a totally different mindset. We are taught how to be dealing30 with people, and people that we spend most of our times with, being our colleagues and the people at home, being my husband and my kids.”  

For Carey, Tsotetsi and Daniels represent “tiny but successful steps” in her mission to improve etiquette in South Africa… But she laughingly insists she can be as “uncouth” as the next person.

“There’s got to be a little bit of excitement in life I suppose!” she exclaims. “I slouch sometimes when I’m tired. I get annoyed when my boyfriend talks to me too much…”

But looking at her seated graciously in an antique chair in Le Chatelat’s ornate cigar lounge, luminescent light from a chandelier shining off her golden hair and pearly teeth, it’s hard to be convinced of Carey’s ability to be bad mannered - an image that no doubt satisfies her steadily31 growing stream of pupils.

Carey attended one of South Africa’s elite32 private schools, St. Anne's Diocesan College, and has a social sciences degree in politics, philosophy and economics and a diploma in entrepreneurship from the University of Cape33 Town.

She’s also a graduate of both the New York School of Etiquette and the Protocol34 School of Washington.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 etiquette Xiyz0     
n.礼仪,礼节;规矩
参考例句:
  • The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
  • According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。
2 consultant 2v0zp3     
n.顾问;会诊医师,专科医生
参考例句:
  • He is a consultant on law affairs to the mayor.他是市长的一个法律顾问。
  • Originally,Gar had agreed to come up as a consultant.原来,加尔只答应来充当我们的顾问。
3 eminently c442c1e3a4b0ad4160feece6feb0aabf     
adv.突出地;显著地;不寻常地
参考例句:
  • She seems eminently suitable for the job. 她看来非常适合这个工作。
  • It was an eminently respectable boarding school. 这是所非常好的寄宿学校。 来自《简明英汉词典》
4 qualified DCPyj     
adj.合格的,有资格的,胜任的,有限制的
参考例句:
  • He is qualified as a complete man of letters.他有资格当真正的文学家。
  • We must note that we still lack qualified specialists.我们必须看到我们还缺乏有资质的专家。
5 considerably 0YWyQ     
adv.极大地;相当大地;在很大程度上
参考例句:
  • The economic situation has changed considerably.经济形势已发生了相当大的变化。
  • The gap has narrowed considerably.分歧大大缩小了。
6 poise ySTz9     
vt./vi. 平衡,保持平衡;n.泰然自若,自信
参考例句:
  • She hesitated briefly but quickly regained her poise.她犹豫片刻,但很快恢复了镇静。
  • Ballet classes are important for poise and grace.芭蕾课对培养优雅的姿仪非常重要。
7 economists 2ba0a36f92d9c37ef31cc751bca1a748     
n.经济学家,经济专家( economist的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The sudden rise in share prices has confounded economists. 股价的突然上涨使经济学家大惑不解。
  • Foreign bankers and economists cautiously welcomed the minister's initiative. 外国银行家和经济学家对部长的倡议反应谨慎。 来自《简明英汉词典》
8 flair 87jyQ     
n.天赋,本领,才华;洞察力
参考例句:
  • His business skill complements her flair for design.他的经营技巧和她的设计才能相辅相成。
  • He had a natural flair for business.他有做生意的天分。
9 attentive pOKyB     
adj.注意的,专心的;关心(别人)的,殷勤的
参考例句:
  • She was very attentive to her guests.她对客人招待得十分周到。
  • The speaker likes to have an attentive audience.演讲者喜欢注意力集中的听众。
10 eyebrows a0e6fb1330e9cfecfd1c7a4d00030ed5     
眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Eyebrows stop sweat from coming down into the eyes. 眉毛挡住汗水使其不能流进眼睛。
  • His eyebrows project noticeably. 他的眉毛特别突出。
11 promotion eRLxn     
n.提升,晋级;促销,宣传
参考例句:
  • The teacher conferred with the principal about Dick's promotion.教师与校长商谈了迪克的升级问题。
  • The clerk was given a promotion and an increase in salary.那个职员升了级,加了薪。
12 cardinal Xcgy5     
n.(天主教的)红衣主教;adj.首要的,基本的
参考例句:
  • This is a matter of cardinal significance.这是非常重要的事。
  • The Cardinal coloured with vexation. 红衣主教感到恼火,脸涨得通红。
13 license B9TzU     
n.执照,许可证,特许;v.许可,特许
参考例句:
  • The foreign guest has a license on the person.这个外国客人随身携带执照。
  • The driver was arrested for having false license plates on his car.司机由于使用假车牌而被捕。
14 ramble DAszo     
v.漫步,漫谈,漫游;n.漫步,闲谈,蔓延
参考例句:
  • This is the best season for a ramble in the suburbs.这是去郊区漫游的最好季节。
  • I like to ramble about the street after work.我下班后在街上漫步。
15 homage eQZzK     
n.尊敬,敬意,崇敬
参考例句:
  • We pay homage to the genius of Shakespeare.我们对莎士比亚的天才表示敬仰。
  • The soldiers swore to pay their homage to the Queen.士兵们宣誓效忠于女王陛下。
16 chivalrous 0Xsz7     
adj.武士精神的;对女人彬彬有礼的
参考例句:
  • Men are so little chivalrous now.现在的男人几乎没有什么骑士风度了。
  • Toward women he was nobly restrained and chivalrous.对于妇女,他表现得高尚拘谨,尊敬三分。
17 emancipated 6319b4184bdec9d99022f96c4965261a     
adj.被解放的,不受约束的v.解放某人(尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚)( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Slaves were not emancipated until 1863 in the United States. 美国奴隶直到1863年才获得自由。
  • Women are still struggling to be fully emancipated. 妇女仍在为彻底解放而斗争。 来自《简明英汉词典》
18 physically iNix5     
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律
参考例句:
  • He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服,心绪也很乱。
  • Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。
19 chivalry wXAz6     
n.骑士气概,侠义;(男人)对女人彬彬有礼,献殷勤
参考例句:
  • The Middle Ages were also the great age of chivalry.中世纪也是骑士制度盛行的时代。
  • He looked up at them with great chivalry.他非常有礼貌地抬头瞧她们。
20 swapping 8a991dafbba2463e25ba0bc65307eb5e     
交换,交换技术
参考例句:
  • The slow swapping and buying of horses went on. 马匹的买卖和交换就是这样慢慢地进行着。
  • He was quite keen on swapping books with friends. 他非常热衷于和朋友们交换书籍。
21 adamant FywzQ     
adj.坚硬的,固执的
参考例句:
  • We are adamant on the building of a well-off society.在建设小康社会这一点上,我们是坚定不移的。
  • Veronica was quite adamant that they should stay on.维罗妮卡坚信他们必须继续留下去。
22 snobby 667d10674990d20663977c10de67e90a     
a.虚荣的
参考例句:
  • Can I really tell my snobby friends that I now shop at-egads-Walmart? 天呐,我真得好意思告诉那帮势利的朋友们我在沃尔玛买东西?
23 scenarios f7c7eeee199dc0ef47fe322cc223be88     
n.[意]情节;剧本;事态;脚本
参考例句:
  • Further, graphite cores may be safer than non-graphite cores under some accident scenarios. 再者,根据一些事故解说,石墨堆芯可比非石墨堆芯更安全一些。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
  • Again, scenarios should make it clear which modes are acceptable to users in various contexts. 同样,我们可以运用场景剧本来搞清楚在不同情境下哪些模式可被用户接受。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
24 sprinter Fhczl7     
n.短跑运动员,短距离全速奔跑者
参考例句:
  • He is more a sprinter than a swimmer. 他是短跑健将,而不是游泳选手。 来自辞典例句
  • The sprinter himself thinks he can run the race at 9.4 seconds. 这位短跑运动员自认为可以用9.4秒跑完比赛。 来自互联网
25 exhorts 06a3c3c5a0e82c9493943096b37c16dc     
n.劝勉者,告诫者,提倡者( exhort的名词复数 )v.劝告,劝说( exhort的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • He begs me, exhorts me, commands me to work. 他请求我,劝导我,命令我工作。 来自辞典例句
  • The dialogue continues, with the banks demurely declining as the government exhorts. 政府试图说服银行,而银行则更加保守,双飞的对话仍在继续。 来自互联网
26 elusive d8vyH     
adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的
参考例句:
  • Try to catch the elusive charm of the original in translation.翻译时设法把握住原文中难以捉摸的风韵。
  • Interpol have searched all the corners of the earth for the elusive hijackers.国际刑警组织已在世界各地搜查在逃的飞机劫持者。
27 prey g1czH     
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨
参考例句:
  • Stronger animals prey on weaker ones.弱肉强食。
  • The lion was hunting for its prey.狮子在寻找猎物。
28 heartily Ld3xp     
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很
参考例句:
  • He ate heartily and went out to look for his horse.他痛快地吃了一顿,就出去找他的马。
  • The host seized my hand and shook it heartily.主人抓住我的手,热情地和我握手。
29 initially 273xZ     
adv.最初,开始
参考例句:
  • The ban was initially opposed by the US.这一禁令首先遭到美国的反对。
  • Feathers initially developed from insect scales.羽毛最初由昆虫的翅瓣演化而来。
30 dealing NvjzWP     
n.经商方法,待人态度
参考例句:
  • This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
  • His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。
31 steadily Qukw6     
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地
参考例句:
  • The scope of man's use of natural resources will steadily grow.人类利用自然资源的广度将日益扩大。
  • Our educational reform was steadily led onto the correct path.我们的教学改革慢慢上轨道了。
32 elite CqzxN     
n.精英阶层;实力集团;adj.杰出的,卓越的
参考例句:
  • The power elite inside the government is controlling foreign policy.政府内部的一群握有实权的精英控制着对外政策。
  • We have a political elite in this country.我们国家有一群政治精英。
33 cape ITEy6     
n.海角,岬;披肩,短披风
参考例句:
  • I long for a trip to the Cape of Good Hope.我渴望到好望角去旅行。
  • She was wearing a cape over her dress.她在外套上披着一件披肩。
34 protocol nRQxG     
n.议定书,草约,会谈记录,外交礼节
参考例句:
  • We must observe the correct protocol.我们必须遵守应有的礼仪。
  • The statesmen signed a protocol.那些政治家签了议定书。
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