NPR 07-23:Living in the Here and Now从那一刻起，我的人生观彻底改变

Businessman Jeffrey Hollender believes being present isn't easy but it is the best way to live life

I believe in mystery.
I believe in family.
I believe in being who I am.
I believe in the power of failure.
And I believe normal life is extraordinary.
This I believe.

I'm Jay Allison for This I believe. Jeffrey Hollender is the CEO of Seventh Generation, a company producing environmentally safe household products. But before that his business ventures included adult education courses with names like "How to meet man?" and "How to marry money?”. Once on the Phil Donahue Show, he was heckled by the audience for such money making schemes and he said he knew he had to change. In fact, Hollender believes there is always an opportunity to change although sometimes it takes a tragedy to realize it. Here is Jeffrey Hollender with his essay for This I believe.

Six years ago, my younger brother Peter, who was my closest friend and the only remaining member of my immediate¹ family, ended his life. Nothing I have ever experienced, or have experienced since, has had such a powerful impact on what I believe.

Till then, life often slid by me. My mind lost in reviewing what had just happened or anticipating what was to come. The present seemed to disappear between the past and the future. The life, most of us lead is short to begin with. The more we miss, the shorter it gets.

I vowed² to myself that I would honor my brother's death by being present in my own life. I found a new world opened up before me, a life richer in detail and both wider and wilder. The autopilot I'd been running on for God knows how long finally shut off. I began to see new possibilities for thought, vision, caring and action: to say too often what remains³ unsaid, to admit that often I have no idea what to do.

Being present isn't easy. On a good day, I’d say I'm conscious maybe 1 to 2 percent of the time. The rest of the time, I’m reacting. Usually those reactions are not particularly thoughtful. They're just responses, old patterns or the repetition of what I did yesterday.

Now I try to ask questions, not give answers. This is not easy for me to do. I’m someone with a lot of answers. I have to restrain myself. Not reacting takes a lot of work, but the more I'm able to do it, the more I feel like I'm being the person I aspired⁴ to be.

I see that my own mind can be my greatest limitation, and on bad days, it always is, or the gateway⁵ to what matters most to me, the big stuff, environmental sustainability, world peace, the end of hunger, the beginning of true social justice for all. I used to think that these possibilities were beyond our reach, impossible to hope for, silly to believe in. But if we don't believe in our own ability to make them happen, they never will.

I found that my decision to be present that is filled with attention to what is, is foundational.

I often cry when I think about my brother. It’s one of the few things I let myself cry about. I missed opportunities with him because I wasn't present, missed opportunities I will never have again. In some ways, he was almost always fully⁶ present. He didn't know any other way to be. I don't wanna miss any more of my life, any more than I already have. By being present and conscious, aware and awake, I believe that I can honor my brother, just a little bit every day.

Jeffrey Hollender with his essay for This I believe. We invite essays from everyone and hope you will consider writing your own. More details can be found at our website npr.org/thisibelieve, or you can also browse⁷ through the more than 30,000 essays that have been submitted to date. For This I believe, I’m Jay Allison.

This I Believe is independently produced by Jay Allison, Dan Gediman, John Gregory, and Viki Merrick, with Emily Botein.

Support for NPR comes from Prudential Retirement⁸, sponsor of This I Believe. Prudential believes every worker can achieve a more secure retirement. Prudential Retirement, where beliefs matter.

Support for This I Believe comes from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

1 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

2 vowed   

起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• He vowed quite solemnly that he would carry out his promise. 他非常庄严地发誓要实现他的诺言。
• I vowed to do more of the cooking myself. 我发誓自己要多动手做饭。

3 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

4 aspired   

v.渴望，追求( aspire的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She aspired to a scientific career. 她有志于科学事业。
• Britain,France,the United States and Japan all aspired to hegemony after the end of World War I. 第一次世界大战后，英、法、美、日都想争夺霸权。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 gateway   

n.大门口，出入口，途径，方法

参考例句：

• Hard work is the gateway to success.努力工作是通往成功之路。
• A man collected tolls at the gateway.一个人在大门口收通行费。

6 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

7 browse   

vi.随意翻阅，浏览；(牛、羊等)吃草

参考例句：

• I had a browse through the books on her shelf.我浏览了一下她书架上的书。
• It is a good idea to browse through it first.最好先通篇浏览一遍。

8 retirement   

n.退休，退职

参考例句：

• She wanted to enjoy her retirement without being beset by financial worries.她想享受退休生活而不必为金钱担忧。
• I have to put everything away for my retirement.我必须把一切都积蓄起来以便退休后用。