白领美丽英文诵典365 -063 Improving Interpersonal Rela

When you come to the realization¹ that interpersonal relationships are based on needs then the steps following become simple and effective

To understand what a relationship is, how to bring one about, how to enhance one, and why relationships are diminished and lost, one must understand the power of a person’s needs.

The most important things in the world, to us, are the things we believe that we need. Needs affect opinions, attitudes, and viewpoints. Generally we’re more aware of unfulfilled needs than the ones that are consistently met.

The key to a good interpersonal relationships is simple once you understand the role that needs play in making a relationship weak, moderate, average, or strong. Let’s give the word relationship a different definition from the dictionaries, for unlocking the meaning of the word often leads to greater understanding.

To enhance any relationship is simple: find out what the other person needs and then fill that need. When you ask, “How can I help better this relationship?” you are asking the wrong question. To get the correct answer we have to ask the right question. A better question would be, “How can I fill this person’s needs?”

As previously² stated, our own needs are often hidden by fear, guilt³, and past programming. The techniques and exercises covered in the Power of Self Mind Control will allow you to identify your needs and show you why you are who you are in regards to interpersonal relationships. Your effectiveness in influencing and dealing⁴ with people will greatly increase with the power of self mind control.

1 realization   

n.实现；认识到，深刻了解

参考例句：

• We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。
• He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。

2 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。

3 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

4 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。