大千世界:如何跟怀恨在心的"朋友"打交道

Dear Annie: I am a 24-year-old female and have been friends with "Danielle" for 12 years. In fact, she is the only friend I have. Recently, I expressed some personal frustrations¹ to her about my brother-in-law's lifestyle. Last weekend, he came to visit and was obviously angry with me, but refused to say why. My brother-in-law and Danielle converse² often, and I am fairly certain she told him what I said. This isn't the first time Danielle has done spiteful things to me. I have even called some things to her attention, and she apologizes, but nothing changes. In the past, I have overlooked Danielle's underhanded behavior in order to save our friendship. I want to confront her about this latest incident, but don't know how to do it without hurting her emotionally. — Confidences Betrayed in N.C. Dear N.C.: If this latest incident turns out to be Danielle's fault and you confront her, at best she will follow custom and apologize but change nothing. This is a toxic³ friendship, where you think it's necessary to appease⁴ her every time she hurts you. Apologize to your brother-in-law for whatever you may have done that upset him, and be cordial—nothing more—to Danielle. You need to branch out and find more trustworthy friends.
Converse: 【书】交谈,谈话[(+with/on/about)]
We conversed⁵ for hours on the phone.
我们在电话里谈了几小时。

Spiteful: 怀恨的;恶意的
It was very spiteful of her to do that.
她做那种事太恶毒了。

Overlook
1. 眺望;俯瞰
The house on the hill overlooks the valley.
小山上的房子俯瞰着山谷。
2. 看漏;忽略[+v-ing]
My calculation was wrong because I overlooked one tiny point.
由于我忽略了一个细微之处,我的计算错了。
3. 宽恕,宽容
He has been kind enough to overlook my fault.
他很宽容,原谅了我的错。
4. 【罕】细看;检查
He overlooked the contract before he signed it.
他在签字之前仔细阅读了合同。
5. 照管;监督;监视
She did not know that she was being overlooked by the woman next door.
她不知道隔壁邻居的女人一直在监视她。
6. 高耸于...之上
The monument overlooks the square.
纪念碑高耸在广场之上。

Underhanded
1. 秘密的;可耻的;狡诈的
He played an underhanded trick on me.
他跟我耍了一个卑劣的花招。
2. 人手不足的
The store is underhanded in the Christmas season.
该商店在圣诞节期间缺少人手。

Confront
1. 迎面遇到;面临;遭遇
The soldiers were confronted by two terrorists as they left their camp.
士兵们离开营房时,迎面遇到两个恐怖分子。
2. 勇敢地面对;正视;对抗
confront danger
勇敢地面对危险
3. 使面对;使遭遇;使对质[(+with)]
confront a prisoner with a witness
使囚犯与证人对质

Appease
1. 平息;缓和;抚慰
Nothing could appease the crying child.
什么都无法使孩子不哭。
2. 绥靖,姑息;对...让步
It was a blunder for them to try to appease the aggressor.
他们想姑息侵略者,那是一个大错。
3. 满足
Can you appease the boy's curiosity?
你能满足这个男孩的好奇心吗?

Cordial: 热忱的,友好的;衷心的;真挚的
a cordial reception
热忱招待
a cordial welcome
热忱欢迎
The hostess gave us a cordial greeting.
女主人热忱地欢迎我们。

1 frustrations   

挫折( frustration的名词复数 )； 失败； 挫败； 失意

参考例句：

• The temptation would grow to take out our frustrations on Saigon. 由于我们遭到挫折而要同西贡算帐的引诱力会增加。
• Aspirations will be raised, but so will frustrations. 人们会产生种种憧憬，但是种种挫折也会随之而来。

2 converse   

vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反

参考例句：

• He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
• I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。

3 toxic   

adj.有毒的，因中毒引起的

参考例句：

• The factory had accidentally released a quantity of toxic waste into the sea.这家工厂意外泄漏大量有毒废物到海中。
• There is a risk that toxic chemicals might be blasted into the atmosphere.爆炸后有毒化学物质可能会进入大气层。

4 appease   

v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足

参考例句：

• He tried to appease the crying child by giving him candy.他试图给那个啼哭的孩子糖果使他不哭。
• The government tried to appease discontented workers.政府试图安抚不满的工人们。

5 conversed   

v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 )

参考例句：

• I conversed with her on a certain problem. 我与她讨论某一问题。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• She was cheerful and polite, and conversed with me pleasantly. 她十分高兴，也很客气，而且愉快地同我交谈。 来自辞典例句