如何克服你的羞怯感

 How to Overcome Your ShynessShyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many of people. All kinds of people describe themselves as shy. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious; that is that they are excessively concerned with their own appearance and actions. Worrisome1 thoughts are constantly swirling¹ in their minds. What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? I’m ugly. I’m wearing unattractive clothes. It’s obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely2. A person’s self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other people’s reactions.

Shy people, having low self esteem², are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need reassurance3 that they are doing “the right thing”. Shy people are very sensitive to criticism. They feel it confirms their inferiority4. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one: “Your are just saying that to make me feel good. I know it’s not true.” It’s clear that, while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing³ it is detrimental5, or harmful. Then, can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced?

Yes!Here are some specific helpful steps toward building self-confidence and overcoming shyness.

1. Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has both. As self-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes.

2. Set reasonable goals. For example, you may be timid6 about being with a group of strangers at a party. Don’t feel that you must converse⁴ with everyone. Concentrate on talking with one or two people. You’ll feel more comfortable.

3. Guilt⁵ and shame are destructive feelings. Don’t waste time and energy on them. Suppose, you have hurt someone’s feelings. Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing. Instead, accept the fact that you have made a mistake, and make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future.

4. There are numerous approaches to all issues. Few options are completely right or wrong. Don’t be afraid to speak up and give your point of view.

5. Don’t make negative comments about yourself. This is a form of self-rejection. Avoid describing yourself as stupid, ugly, a failure. Accent7 the positive.

6. Accept criticism thoughtfully. Do not interpret it as a personal attack. If, for example, a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as a comment on your cooking, not yourself. Be assured that you are still good friends, but perhaps your cooking could improve.

7. Remember that everyone experiences some failures and disappointments. Profit from them as learning experiences. Very often a disappointment becomes a turning point for a wonderful experience to come along. For instance, you may be rejected by the college of your choice. However, at the college you actually attend, you may find a quality of education beyond what you had expected.

8. Do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate⁶. Try to change their attitude or yours, or remove yourself from that relationship. People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart.

9. Set aside time to relax, enjoy hobbies, and re-evaluate your goals regularly. Time spent this way helps you learn more about yourself.

10. Practice being in social occasions. Don’t isolate⁷ yourself from people. Try making one acquaintance at a time; eventually you circulate in large groups with skill and self-assurance.

Each of us is a unique, valuable individual. We are interesting in our personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. Let’s not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life.

 

1 swirling   

v.旋转，打旋( swirl的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Snowflakes were swirling in the air. 天空飘洒着雪花。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• She smiled, swirling the wine in her glass. 她微笑着，旋动着杯子里的葡萄酒。 来自辞典例句

2 esteem   

n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• The veteran worker ranks high in public love and esteem.那位老工人深受大伙的爱戴。

3 overdoing   

v.做得过分( overdo的现在分词 )；太夸张；把…煮得太久；（工作等）过度

参考例句：

• He's been overdoing things recently. 近来他做事过分努力。 来自辞典例句
• You think I've been overdoing it with the work thing? 你认为我对工作的关注太过分了吗？ 来自电影对白

4 converse   

vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反

参考例句：

• He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
• I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。

5 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

6 inadequate   

adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的

参考例句：

• The supply is inadequate to meet the demand.供不应求。
• She was inadequate to the demands that were made on her.她还无力满足对她提出的各项要求。

7 isolate   

vt.使孤立，隔离

参考例句：

• Do not isolate yourself from others.不要把自己孤立起来。
• We should never isolate ourselves from the masses.我们永远不能脱离群众。