华尔街中级英语Lesson 46

6. -What do you think are the most important elements of a happy relationship?
-I know now that the most important element is being able to listen to your partner and actually having time for your partner. It’s communication, communication skills all the time. The most important. So what are the commonest problems that people bring to you? Is it an inability to communicate?

7. -Yes, It comes in all sorts of guises¹. It can be sex or it can be, um, his mother’s, with a house, or it can be the children. But the reality, the problem is that they are not able to talk about what the problem is. So the skill is actually often not to look at what they’re bringing you, but try to look at the behavior that’s going on and actually get them to start to see what each are doing that blocks the understanding. Because if you have been brought up in a family that doesn’t ever talk about things and then you hit a problem that really needs talking about, your reaction is not to talk about it, because that’s how you were taught to behave. So, what I’m always trying to do with clients is introduce new behaviors to them in a safe way, in a safe environment that they can experiment with, and hopefully then go out of here and practice on outside.
-You say that clients often turn up with one problem disguising² what the real problem is. Do they do that on purpose because they find it difficult to talk about the real problem?

8. - It's a mixture of both. I mean they might believe that what they’re bringing is the real problem. You know, if they are saying “sexually³ things aren’t too good for us”, that for them is the real problem. But if you can Then get the understanding that if they could talk about what’s going on in the bedroom that perhaps he doesn’t bath often enough and, therefore, she doesn’t like to go to bed with somebody who’s a  bit smelly and she doesn’t like to say it. So if you can actually get them to communicate, then the learning can be how you could improve all aspects of your relationship by being able to talk about it. So I never minimize⁴ what is being brought.  What they bring initially⁵ is, for them, often the real issue.

1 guises   

n.外观，伪装( guise的名词复数 )v.外观，伪装( guise的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• She took pleasure in the various guises she could see. 她穿各种衣服都显得活泼可爱。 来自辞典例句
• Traditional form or structure allows us to recognize corresponding bits of folklore in different guises. 了解民俗的传统形式或结构，可以使我门抛开事物的不同外表，从中去辨认出有关民俗的点点滴滴。 来自英汉非文学 - 民俗

2 disguising   

v.假扮( disguise的现在分词 )；化装；伪装；掩盖

参考例句：

• I hate that false plan of disguising, mutilating the truth. 我最恨那种掩饰真相、割裂真相的虚伪策略。 来自辞典例句
• He tried to escape detection by disguising himself as an old man. 他企图乔装一老人逃过侦察者的耳目。 来自辞典例句

3 sexually   

adv.性别上地；按性别地；性欲地；两性之间地

参考例句：

• to be sexually promiscuous 性生活淫乱
• I was depressed,withdrawn and sexually frigid. 我郁郁寡欢，离群索居，没有什么性要求。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 minimize   

vt.使减（缩）小到最低，极力贬低，最低估计

参考例句：

• To minimize the risk of burglary,install a good alarm system.安装可靠的报警设备以减低被盗的风险。
• To minimize the public expenditure of this country.把该国的财政支出减少到最低限度。

5 initially   

adv.最初，开始

参考例句：

• The ban was initially opposed by the US.这一禁令首先遭到美国的反对。
• Feathers initially developed from insect scales.羽毛最初由昆虫的翅瓣演化而来。