11 ABC method of managing attitudes

A-B-C METHOD OF MANAGING ATTITUDES

As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he

accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the

fallen bags and apologized for the mishap¹. Unappeased, the traveler

burst into an angry tirade², raging and swearing at the skycap for his

clumsiness. Throughout the traveler's rant³, the baggage handler

simply apologized and smiled. The angry man continued to berate⁴ the

skycap, until he finally headed off to catch his plane. Even then the

baggage handler remained calm and passively smiled.

The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the

skycap's professionalism and control. "I have never seen such

restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when

somebody is attacking you so viciously?"

"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to Denver, but his bags

are going to Detroit."

That is certainly ONE way of managing attitudes, but here is a more

constructive⁵ approach.

Have you heard of the A-B-C method of managing your attitude? It's

simple and effective.

"A" stands for the "Activating⁶ Event." Let's say you get stuck in

traffic. The traffic jam is the activating event.

"B" stands for your "Belief System." You believe that traffic is only

getting worse and you'll have more and more days like this ahead.

"C" stands for the "Consequence of the Event." You become angry. You

want to honk⁷ your horn. Your stomach is tied in knots and you bang

the dashboard with your fist.

The problem is...most people jump directly from "A" to "C." They get

stuck in traffic and become angry. They think the traffic jam made

them upset. They don't realize that they didn't HAVE to get angry.

They skipped an important step!

Let's try it again:

"A" - you get stuck in traffic.

"B" - you believe that you were given some unexpected and extra time

to spend in solitude⁸, to listen to a great tape or to plan your day.

"C" - the consequence is that you feel gratitude⁹ for the gift of

time.

I have a friend who is fond of saying, "A traffic jam has no power to

make us angry. It just stops our car." He is aware that between the

activating event and the consequence is something that we control:

our beliefs about what is happening.

The next time you have a problem -- at home or at work, big or

small -- decide to manage your attitude toward it. Practice the A-B-C

method. You probably can't change "A," the activating event. But try

changing "B," your beliefs about the problem. When you change your

beliefs, you also change "C," the consequences of the situation.

It's as simple as A-B-C. Manage your beliefs, and you'll manage to be

a lot happier!

1 mishap   

n.不幸的事，不幸；灾祸

参考例句：

• I'm afraid your son had a slight mishap in the playground.不好了，你儿子在操场上出了点小意外。
• We reached home without mishap.我们平安地回到了家。

2 tirade   

n.冗长的攻击性演说

参考例句：

• Her tirade provoked a counterblast from her husband.她的长篇大论激起了她丈夫的强烈反对。
• He delivered a long tirade against the government.他发表了反政府的长篇演说。

3 rant   

v.咆哮；怒吼；n.大话；粗野的话

参考例句：

• You can rant and rave at the fine,but you'll still have to pay it.你闹也好，骂也好，罚金还是得交。
• If we rant on the net,the world is our audience.如果我们在网络上大声嚷嚷，全世界都是我们的听众。

4 berate   

v.训斥，猛烈责骂

参考例句：

• He feared she would berate him for his forgetfulness.他担心，由于健忘又要挨她的训斥了。
• She might have taken the opportunity to berate scientists for their closed minds.她也可能会去利用这个机会斥责那些抱成见的科学家。

5 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。

6 activating   

活动的，活性的

参考例句：

• "I didn't say we'd got to stop activating the masses! “我并没说就此不发动！ 来自子夜部分
• Presumably both the very small size and activating influence of fluorine atoms contribute to this exception. 这大概是由于氟原子半径小和活性高这两个原因的影响，氟原子对这种例外做出了贡献。

7 honk   

n.雁叫声，汽车喇叭声

参考例句：

• Don't honk the horn indiscriminately.不要乱鸣喇叭！
• While passing another vehicle,you must honk your horn.通过另一部车时必须鸣按喇叭。

8 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

9 gratitude   

adj.感激，感谢

参考例句：

• I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
• She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。