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英语听力:化身博士.dr.jekyll.and.mr.hyde 09

时间:2012-04-12 08:23来源:互联网 提供网友:sunnyraintsk   字体: [ ]
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  9 Doctor Jekyll's confession

  I was born in the year 18-. I inherited a large fortune,a strong healthy body and an excellent mind. I wasnaturally hard-working and soon I was extremely successful inmy chosen work as a scientist.Although I was still young,important people came to me for advice.At an age when mostyoung men are going out and having fun, I was behaving like agrey-haired old man.

  This was not easy for me.The outside world saw a serious,hard-working doctor. Behind this quiet character, however,was an active, fun-loving young man-about-town. This, ofcourse, was nothing to be ashamed of, but I did not realizethat at the time. I was ashamed, and I soon learned to keepmy two lives separate.

  I was not dishonest in any way.Both these people were me.The serious, successful young doctor was me, and the wild,fun-loving,irresponsible young man was me too.I thought about this for a long time and slowly I realized that I was notextraordinary in this. Every man has two sides to hischaracter. He is two people.They live together-often uncomfortably in the same body.

  'How fantastic,'I thought, if I could separate these twocharacters and give my fun-loving side his freedom. Then hecould go out and enjoy himself unashamedly and leave serious,studious Doctor Jekyll to get on with his important, life-savingwork.'

  'Was it possible,' I wondered,'to find a drug that couldgive each side of my characier its own separate face and body?'

  After much thought and careful study I believed I had foundthe answer.I had read many scientific books and spent manyhours in my laboratory,searching for the right mixture ofchemicals to make my drug.At last I had everything I neededexcept a special kind of salt. I bought some from a chemist,and then I was ready.

  I hesitated for a long time before I began my experiment.Only a small mistake in the mixture of the drug could meanimmediate death.But in the end,my wish to know wasstronger than my fear.And so, late one disastrous night, Imixed everything together and prepared my drug.I watchedthe smoke rising from the liquid as it changed colour from redto purple and at last to green.Then, bravely,I drank everybitter drop.

  I felt a violent sickness in my stomach and a terrible pain inall my bones.The room seemed to turn round and round and Itrembled with fear.Then the fear and pain disappeared and astrange, sweet feeling took its place. Wild thoughts dancedthrough my mind. They were not good,serious thoughtsThey were the wild passions of an evil and cruel stranger. Butinside myself I felt younger, lighter, more carefree than everbefore.'If this is pure evil,'I thought,'I like it.'

  I stood there. enjoying these strange new thoughts and passions-and suddenly realized that I was shorter.At that timethere was no mirror in my stidy. Later I put one on the wallof my study so that I could watch these changes in my appearance Now,however,it was three o'clock in the morning andall the servants were asleep.I decided it was safe to go to mybedroom in my new body and take a look at myself in the mirror there.I crossed the garden and entered my house like astranger. As I came into my room, I saw Edward Hyde forthe first time.

  At that time,the good side of my character was strongerthan the evil side.Henry Jekyll had his faults,but he wasmostly a good, kind man.I cannot be sure,but I believe thatis the reason why Edward Hyde was so much smaller thanHenry Jekyll.But that was not the only difference betweenthe two men. Henry Jekyll had a kind, open, honest face.Pure evil stared out of Edward Hyde's eyes.I felt no dislike,however.Indeed,I welcomed him.Edward Hyde was me,young and strong and full of life.

  Later,however,I noticed that Hyde's appearance andmanner had a strong effect on other people. Nobody couldmeet Edward Hyde without a feeling of dislike and horror. Ibelieve I understand the reason for this too. Everyone is a mixture of good and evil.Even the worst criminal has a little goodin him. Only Edward Hyde was pure evil.

  I stood for a long time,staring at the mirror.'Am Itrapped?'I wondered.'If I am,I must leave this house beforedaylight. If I don't, I shall be arrested as a thief.

  I hurried back to my study. With trembling hands I mixedanother dose of the drug and drank it.Again I felt that terriblePain and sickness, but a few seconds later I found myself withthe face and body and character of Henry Jekyll once more.

  I blame myself for the things that happened later. It wasnot the fault of the drug.That was neither good nor evil.Butit opened the prison doors and all owed Edward Hyde toescape.Soon he was out of control. He, you will remember,was wholly evil.Doctor Jekyll was not wholly good, however.He was a normal man with normal faults and weaknesses, andHyde was too strong for him.

  I welcomed Hyde,therefore.I arranged everything verycarefully.I bought a flat in a poor part of London, where Ikept Hyde's clothes and employed a servant to do the housework.I took a dose of the drug whenever I wanted to forgetmy old, quiet, serious self for a time. In those early daysGod forgive me!-I thought it was all very amusing. DoctorJekyll was well known.Nobody knew Hyde, however, and inhis body I was free to do as I wished.

  I will not go into details about my adventures and shamefulacts as Hyde. Jekyll remained as good and kind as ever and always did his best to undo the harm that Hyde did. But as timewent by, Jekyll became less and less able to control Hyde.

  One night Hyde injured a child in the street and a passer-bysaw him.That passer-by was your cousin. I recognized himwhen the two of you came to my window.Your cousin caughtHyde and an angry crowd collected. They asked for money forthe child's family. In the end, in order to escape, Hyde hadto give your cousin a cheque in the name of Jekyll.

  I learned my lesson from this, and opened a new bank account in the name of Hyde. I even gave Hyde a different handwriting. I was sure I was safe-but I was wrong.

  Two months before the murder of Sir Danvers Carew I wentout on one of my evil adventures.Before I went to bed,I tooka dose of the drug and became Doctor Jekyll once more. Iwoke up in bed the next morning with a strange feeling thatsomething was wrong… I looked around the room, thendown at my hand.Henry Jekyll's hand was large,white, andwellmade, but the hand I saw that morning on the bedcoverwas thin,bony, greyish-brown, and hairy.It was the hand ofEdward Hyde.

  Sick with horror, I stared at it. I was Henry Jekyll when Iwent to bed,'I thought.'And now I am Edward Hyde…What possible explanation can there be? And,moreimportant, how can I get to my study and take the drug?'

  Then I realized that the servants were quite used to the comings and goings of Hyde. I put on Hyde's clothes and marchedconfidently through the house. Poole stared in surprise to seeMr Hyde so early in the morning, but I did not care. Tenminutes later Doctor Jekyll had returned to his own shape andwas sitting down,pretending to eat breakfast.

  Too worried to eat, I sat there thinking hard about my situation. I realized that in recent weeks Hyde had become biggerand stronger, both in body and character.

  'What will I do,'I thought,' Hyde takes control?'Ithought about the drug. Once,in the early days,it had failedcompletely, and sometimes I had had to take a double dose before I changed into Hyde.Now,however,it was quite easy tobecome Hyde-the problem was to become Jekyll again aftermy adventures.My good self and my evil self were fighting formy mind and body-and my evil self was winning.

  I knew I had to choose between the two, and I chose DoctorJekyll. Perhaps I was not wholly serious about this,however,because I did not sell Hyde's flat or destroy his clothes. Fortwo months I lived the life of a quiet and responsible man. Butsoon I began to miss Hyde-his strong young body, his love oflife and his dark adventures in the narrow, nameless streets ofLondon.One night, when my life as Jekyll seemed imposslblydull and boring, I mixed a dose of the drug and drank it.

  It was like opening the door of a cage and letting a wild animal escape.That night I became a madman, and beat Sir Danvers to death-for no reason at all.I felt only a wild delight asI hit his body again and again. Afterwards I ran to the flat anddestroyed all my papers. I was not ashamed of my crime. Instead I was filled with a high,sweet excitement. I relived themurder as I walked back home through the streets. I feltstrong and masterful…Edward Hyde had a song on his lipsas he mixed a dose of the drug.'Your very good health, SirDanvers!'he laughed as he drank.A moment of terrible pain,then poor Henry Jekyll fell to his knees and begged God to forgive him.

  When I was myself again,I locked the door that led fromthe street to my laboratory. I broke the key and threw itaway. Goodbye for ever,Mr Hyde!I whispered.

  The next day the news of the murder was all over London.The servant girl had seen the crime and recognized Mr Hyde.My other self was wanted by the police.

  In some ways I was glad. Now Hyde could not show hisface to the world again. If he did, every honest man in London would be proud to report him to the police.

  Once again I led a busy,responsible and almost happy life…until one fine,clear January day. I was sitting on a seat inthe park,enjoying the sunshine,when suddenly I felt deathlysick.I began to tremble all over. Soon, however, I felt wellagain-not only well, but young,strong and fearless. I lookeddown; my clothes were suddenly too big,the hand on my kneewas the bony,hairy hand of Edward Hyde. It was so sudden.One moment I was a famous and popular doctor,the next Iwas a violent criminal who was wanted for murder.

  How could I get to my study to take the drug? I had lockedthe street door to my laboratory and broken the key. I couldnot, therefore,enter from the street. I could not go inthrough the house because of the servants.I needed help fromoutside.I thought of Lanyon,but how could I reach him?And how could I persuade him to let Hyde into his home?How,too,could I persuade him to break into Doctor Jekyll's private study?It looked impossible. Then I remembered.My appearance was unrecognizable,but my handwriting was unchanged.I'could still write a letterin Doctor Jekyll's name!Calling a passing taxicab,I orderedthe driver to drive to a hotel quite near Lanyon's house.Ofcourse Jekyll's clothes were much too large for my body,and Ihad trouble in climbing into the cab.The driver noticed mystrange appearance and could not help laughing.I gave himsuch a black look,however,that the smile froze on his face.In my desperate fear and danger,I was like a pain-maddened animal,ready to kill or wound at any moment.I wanted topull the driver from his seat and murder him then and there.But I was clever too.My life depended on my coolness,and Ifought to control my murderous passions.

  We reached the hotel.I paid the driver and went inside,holding up my too-large trousers.The servants smiled whenthey saw my strange appearance.I stared angrily at them andtheir smiles disappeared at once.I gave my orders and they ledme to a private room and brought me some writing paper and apen.

  Hyde in danger of his life was a new experience for me.He—I write'he'because I find it hard to write'I'—he wasnot human.His only feelings at that time were fear and hate.Hyde was wholly evil,but he was not stupid.He knew thathis life depended on two letters,one to Lanyon and one toPoole.If he failed,he would die.

  Carefully he wrote the letters and sent a servant to postthem.After that he sat all day by the fire in the private room.There too he had dinner,brought by a frightened waiter.Atlast,when darkness had covered the city,he sat in the cornerof a closed taxicab.'Just drive round!'he ordered,and thedriver drove backwards and forwards through the streets ofLondon.

  Then,when Hyde thought the driver was beginning to sus-pect something,he sent the taxicab away and continued onfoot.He was a strange figure in his too-large clothes,withfear and hate staring out of his eyes.He walked along talkingto himself.Once a woman spoke to him 'Will you buy my matches,sir?'she begged.Hyde hit heracross the face,and she ran away in fear.

  My plan was successful.And when I arrived in Lanyon's house,I took the dose of the drug that returned me to my nor-mal appearance.

  Immediately afterwards I felt deeply ashamed.Perhaps itwas Lanyon's horror that made me feel like that.I do notknow.But I hated myself and I was conscious of an importantchange in my feelings.I was no longer afraid of the police-Iwas afraid of Hyde himself.The thought of his short,strong,hairy body and his evil,cruel,wholly selfish mind filled mewith horror.

  Exhausted by the horrors of that day,I slept heavily.Iwoke in the morning feeling weak and shaky,but quitenormal.I still hated and feared the thought of the wild animalinside me,and I had not forgotten the desperate dangers of theday before.But I was at home and close to my drugs,and Iwas most deeply grateful for my escape.

  I was walking across the garden after breakfast,enjoyingthe clear wintry air,when suddenly my body was again tornby those indescribable feelings which I always experienced af-ter a dose of the drug.I only just reached my study before Iwas again burning and freezing with the violent passions ofHyde.With feverish speed I mixed the drug.This time I hadto take a double dose to return to my old shape.And then,on-ly six hours later,the pains returned and I had to repeat thedose.

  From that day onwards the situation worsened.I neededlarger and more frequent doses in order to stay in Jekyll's body.The pains came unexpectedly,but most of all when Iwas asleep.I was afraid to go to bed,or even to sleep for afew moments in my chair.If I did so,I always woke as Hyde.

  Soon Jekyll was a sick man,feverish and weakened by painand fear.As Jekyll grew weaker,Hyde became stronger thanever.He burned with hate for everybody and everything.AndHyde and Jekyll now hated each other with equal passion.Jekyll hated Hyde because Hyde was evil and inhuman,andbecause Hyde was stronger than he was.Jekyll lived in fear ofwaking up and finding himself in Hyde's body,with allHyde's evil passions.Hyde hated Jekyll for a different reason.His fear of death-the punishment for murder-drove him tothe hiding-place of Jekyll's body.But he hated this prison andwas always fighting.to escape from Jekyll's mind and body,and take control.He also hated Jekyll's weakness and his sad,hopeless condition.Most of all,he hated Jekyll's dislike ofhim.This was why Hyde sometimes did things to annoyJekyll.He tore the doctor's books and wrote all over them.He burned his letters and even destroyed a picture of thedoctor's dead father.

  Only Hyde's fear of his own death stops him from killingme.His love of life is terribly strong,and he knows that if hekills me,he too will die.I almost feel sorry for him.

  It is useless to continue this confession.The final disasterhas arrived,and will put an end to my punishment.I shallsoon lose my own face and character for ever.I have only afew doses of the drug left.I sent Poole to the same chemist tofetch some more chemicals.When he brought them,I mixed adose of the drug.The liquid smoked and changed from red topurple,but it did not turn green.I drank it,and looked in themirror.But there was no effect.Edward Hyde's face stillstared back at me.

  I expect Poole has told you that I have searched London forthe chemicals I need.It is no good.I have decided that thefirst chemicals I bought were not absolutely pure.By accident,they contained something unknown to myself or to the chemistthat prepared them.And that unknown something made mydrug effective.So my drug was an accidental discovery thatcannot be repeated.

  About a week has passed.I have used the last of the oldchemicals,and for the moment I am Henry Jekyll again.But Icannot write much more-I have very little time.If Hyde re-turns while I am writing this confession,he will tear it topieces to annoy me.If I finish it,however,he will probablynot notice it.He lives only for the moment,and he is already achanged man.He is like a trapped animal now.He sits in mychair trembling and weeping with hate and fear.All the timehe listens for the policeman's knock at the door.Will he becaught at last,and put to death?Or will he be brave enough totake a dose of poison at the last moment?

  Well,that is not my business.This is the true hour of mydeath.When you read this,the Henry Jekyll you know will bedead.The rest of the story is about Edward Hyde.Now,as Iput down my pen,I bring the life of unhappy Henry Jekyll toan end.

  9 杰基尔博士的忏悔

  我生于18××年,拥有一大笔遗产、一个强健的身体和一个出色的头脑。当然,我也很勤奋,不久,作为一名科学家,我在自己从事的领域里获得了巨大的成功。人虽年纪轻轻,但不少重要人物都向我讨教。在那样的年纪,大多数年轻人都想出去寻欢作乐,而我的举止却像个花白头发的老人。

  这对我来说并不容易。外面的人把我看成一本正经、勤奋工作的博士,但在这安静的性格下,却是活泼、爱玩的交际场里的老手。当然,这没什么可以引以为耻的,但是我那时没有意识到,我感到羞愧难当,这样,很快我就学会了把自己的两种生活截然分开。

  我没有一点不诚实,这两个人都是我。那个严肃认真、事业有成的博士是我,那个充满野性、寻欢作乐、不负责任的年轻人也是我。我想了很长一段时间,慢慢地,我明白这样并没有什么特别之处。每个人的性格都有两面性,他就是两个人,住在一起——当然常常是很不舒服地住在一个躯体里。

  “那该有多奇妙,”我想,“如果我能分离开两种性格,给爱玩的这一边以充分的自由。这样,他就可以自己出去,玩个痛快,而把严肃认真、勤奋上进的杰基尔博士留下来,继续做对他至关重要、拯救生灵的工作。”

  “这可能实现吗?”我怀疑,“能找到一种药,给自己性格的每一面配上不同的脸和躯体吗?”

  我思考了很久,在做了仔细研究之后,我相信自己找到了答案。我看了很多科学方面的书籍,在实验室也花了不少时间,一直在寻找正确的化合物的剂量来配制我的药,最后,除了一种特制的盐类,我要的东西都齐了。后来,我从一个药剂师那里买到了,一切准备就绪了。

  我在实验之前犹豫了好久,化合物里的成分要是有一点点差错,那就意味着立即死亡。但是,好奇心是如此强烈,终于克服了我的恐惧。在一个该诅咒的夜晚,我把各种成分混在一起,配成了我的药,我目不转睛地盯着一缕烟雾从液体里冒了出来,液体的颜色渐渐由红变紫,最后变成绿色。随后,我壮起胆子,喝干了这剂苦药。

  我感到胃里剧烈地难受,骨头缝里都疼,屋子在我眼前转了起来,我怕得浑身发抖。不一会儿,恐惧和痛楚都消失了,取而代之的是一种奇怪而甜美的感觉。脑海里是令人晕眩的鲁莽冲动,都是些不严肃、不好的念头,是一个残忍、邪恶的家伙才有的念头。但是我觉得自己变年轻了,身体也轻快多了,精神上更加愉快。“即使是个十足的恶魔,”我想,“那我也喜欢他。”

  我站在那里,在这些奇怪的想法和情绪中放纵自己——猛然间,我注意到自己个子变矮了。那时我的书房里没有镜子,后来我才放了一面,这样我可以观察自己外形的变化。那时已经是凌晨三点了,所有的仆人都睡了,我打定主意,就这个样子去卧室看看自己,这不会有问题的。我穿过花园,像陌生人一样进了屋,走进自己的房间,第一次见到了爱德华·海德的模样。

  那时,我性格里好的一面比坏的一面强。亨利·杰基尔有自身的缺点,但总的说来是个正直、善良的人。虽不肯定,但我相信这就是爱德华·海德比亨利·杰基尔矮得多的原因。然而,他们的差别还不仅限于此。亨利·杰基尔有一张和蔼、开朗、诚实的面孔,而海德眼里透出的尽是邪恶的目光。但我并没有觉得不舒服,事实上,我很乐意接受他。爱德华·海德就是我,年轻,强壮,充满了活力。

  但后来我发现海德的相貌和举止对别人的影响很大,凡是见到他的人没有不感到既厌恶又害怕的。这个原因,据我看,是因为每个人都是善与恶的混合体,即使是最坏的罪犯也略有好的一面,而只有海德是完完全全由恶组成的人。

  我在镜子前面流连了好一阵。“难道我掉进陷阱里了?”我纳闷,“我还能恢复原样吗?天亮之前,我必须离开这间屋子,否则我会被当作小偷抓起来的。”

  我赶紧回到书房,用颤抖的双手又配了另一份药喝下去,再一次遭受那可怕的疼痛和难受,但几秒钟过后,我重返原身,又恢复了亨利·杰基尔的身体、面貌和性格。

  我为以后发生的事情深深感到自责,不是因为药,药剂本身没有错误,不好也不坏,但是它却打开了牢狱之门,让爱德华·海德得以逃脱,很快我就无法控制他了。你应该不会忘记,他是个彻头彻尾的恶人。杰基尔博士并非一切都好,可不管怎么说,他是个正常的人,有正常人的缺点和弱点,而海德对他来说太强大了。

  那时,我很欢迎海德,仔细为他安排好了一切。我在伦敦的贫民区买了一所公寓,存放他的衣服,还雇用了一个仆人做家务。只要我想忘掉安静、严肃的自己,就喝上一剂药。刚开始的时候——愿上帝宽恕我——我觉得很有趣,杰基尔博士有名望,但没人认识海德,在他的躯体里,我愿意多自由就有多自由。

  我不想多谈海德的历险和可耻的行为,杰基尔还和以前一样善良,总是尽量去弥补海德造成的破坏。但是随着时间的推移,杰基尔越来越不能控制海德了。

  一天晚上,海德在街上弄伤了一个小女孩,有人在路上看到了他,那人就是你表弟,有一次你们俩散步到我的窗下,我认出了他。你表弟一把抓住海德,愤怒的人群聚了过来,要海德给孩子家赔钱。为了脱身,海德最后给了你表弟一张杰基尔签名的支票。

  从这件事上我吸取了教训,以后用海德的名字给他开了新的帐户,我甚至给了他一个不同的笔迹。我想一切都万无一失了,但我错了。

  在丹佛斯·卡鲁爵士遇害的两个月前,我又来了一次邪恶的冒险。睡觉前我吃了一剂药,变回杰基尔博士,第二天早晨醒来的时候我感到有什么不对劲……我看看房间四周,目光落在自己的手上。亨利·杰基尔的手宽大、白皙,十分匀称,而那天早晨被单上的手却十分瘦削,又灰又黑,而且毛茸茸的。这是爱德华·海德的手。

  我瞪着这双手,惊奇得发呆,恐惧让我难受极了。“晚上睡觉的时候还是亨利·杰基尔,怎么醒来却成了爱德华·海德……这如何解释呢?更要命的是,我怎么去书房配药呢?”

  我忽然意识到仆人们对海德来去出入已经习以为常了。我穿上海德的衣服,装模作样地穿过房间。普尔惊讶地瞪着眼,奇怪这么早就看见海德先生,但我也管不了那么多了。十分钟后,杰基尔博士又恢复了原形,坐下来,装出吃早餐的样子。

  我担心得够戗,哪里还有胃口。我坐在那儿,想着这一切,意识到近几周来海德的体格开始长大,越来越强壮,而且性格也越来越强了。

  “我怎么办?”我想,“要是海德控制了局面该如何是好?”我又想到了药,很早以前实验的时候,有过一次彻底失败,有些时候我必须吃两剂药才能变成海德,而现在却越来越容易了——困难的是冒险之后如何再变回杰基尔的样子。我的善良的一半和邪恶的一半在争夺着我的身心,而邪恶的一半渐渐占了上风。

  看来我不得不在两者之间进行抉择了,我选择了杰基尔博士。也许我还有所保留,因为我没有卖掉海德的公寓,也没有烧毁他的衣服。有整整两个月,我是个安详、负责的人,但很快我就开始想念海德了——强壮的体魄,旺盛的生命力以及在那条无名、狭窄的小街上的种种不可告人的冒险经历。一天晚上,我觉得杰基尔的生活实在无聊、枯燥,于是我又制了一剂药,喝了下去。

  突然,就像打开笼子的门,放出一只野兽,那天晚上,我像个十足的疯子一样把丹佛斯爵士活生生打死了——而且无缘无故。每打一下,我只感到狂野地兴奋。随后我跑回公寓把所有文件都烧毁了,我并不为自己的罪行感到汗颜,相反却洋洋得意,兴奋舒畅。回家的路上,我边走边重新回味了杀人的滋味。我感到自己那么强大,能主宰别人。爱德华·海德一边配药,一边哼着歌。

  “为你的健康干杯,丹佛斯爵士!”他大笑着喝了药。先是一阵剧痛,随后可怜的亨利·杰基尔跪倒在地,乞求上帝的饶恕。

  我又恢复了原形。我锁上了由小街通往实验室的门,弄断了钥匙,丢在一边。“海德先生,永别了!”我低声说道。

  第二天,凶杀案传遍了伦敦,女仆看到了一切,认出了海德。我的另一半成了警察要找的通缉犯。

  我多少有点高兴,现在海德不能在这个世界上露面了,只要他一出来,伦敦所有正直的人都会毫不留情地向警方报告的。

  我再一次过上忙碌、认真而快乐的生活,直到……那是1月一个天气晴朗的下午,我坐在公园的长椅上晒太阳,突然感到难受极了,全身颤抖,但很快又感觉一切都好了,而且还更年轻,强壮,无所畏惧。我看看自己,发现衣服一下子大了好多,放在膝盖上的手又成了海德那样,瘦骨嶙峋,长满了毛。几秒钟之前,我还是个名声显赫、受人尊敬的医生,一下子却成了恶毒的凶手,凶杀案的通缉犯。

  怎么回书房吃药呢?从小街通往实验室的门锁了,钥匙也弄断了,没法从街上进家里,也不可能从大门进去,因为仆人都在那儿。

  我需要另外请人帮助,我想到了兰宁,但怎么找到他呢?怎么说服他让海德进他家呢?又怎么说服兰宁去撬开杰基尔博士的私人书房呢?看起来都行不通。

  忽然我记起来了!虽然外表认不出我是杰基尔了,但我的笔迹没变,我还能以杰基尔博士的名义写封信!于是我叫了辆出租马车,让车夫驶到离兰宁家很近的一家旅馆那儿。当然杰基尔的衣服是太大了,坐上马车也不太容易。车夫看到我这副模样,忍俊不禁,笑了起来。我白了他一眼,立刻,笑容凝固在他的脸上。在绝望、恐惧和危急中,我好比是让伤痛激疯了的野兽,任何时候都会伤人,我恨不能把车夫从座位上揪下来,立刻杀了他。不过我还不笨,知道自己的性命要靠冷静行事,所以我好不容易才把杀人的欲望压了下去。

  到了旅馆,我付了钱,走进去,提着肥大的裤子,侍者望着我奇怪的样子都笑了起来。我恶狠狠地瞪了他们一眼,笑容也一下子不见了。我开了房间,他们领我到了一个单间,并拿来了纸笔。

  海德遇到性命悠关的事对我来说还是第一次。他,——我说“他”是因为我没法说那是“我”——他根本不是人。此刻他没别的心思,只有恐惧和仇恨。海德是彻头彻尾的地狱之子,但他还不傻,他知道自己的性命依赖两封信:一封是给兰宁的,一封是给普尔的,要是没办好,那他必死无疑。

  他很仔细地写完两封信,交给当差的送走了。此后,他在壁炉边坐守终日,饭也在房间里吃,是一个吓破胆的侍者端来的。终于,当夜幕全部降临时,他坐上了一辆车门紧闭的出租马车,缩在角落里。“随便去哪儿,”他吩咐道。马车夫就在伦敦的街道上前前后后地转来转去。

  后来,他想到马车夫可能会疑心,就把他打发走了,自己接着步行,穿着那套不合身的大衣服,样子很奇特,眼睛里仍然透出两种卑劣的感情:恐惧与仇恨。他一边走,一边自言自语,还碰到了个女人和他搭话。

  “先生,买火柴吗?”她诚恳地问道。海德却抽了那女人一耳光,女人吓得逃得远远的。

  我的计划成功了。我赶到兰宁家吃了药,又恢复了原形。

  可是事后我立刻感到羞愧难当,也许是老朋友失魂落魄的样子使我不安,我也不太清楚。但我十分痛恨自己,而且意识到我在感情上发生了重要的变化。我不再害怕警察——我怕的是海德本人。一想到他那矮小、粗壮、毛茸茸的身体和邪恶、凶狠、极端自私的思想,我就浑身战栗。

  那天的担惊受怕让我筋疲力尽,我沉沉睡去,早晨醒来后感到十分虚弱,不断发抖,但人还正常。我仍然痛恨和害怕心中那个狂暴的野兽,也没有忘记头天晚上令人胆寒的危险,不过我又回到了家,药就在手边,我真高兴自己九死一生,终于逃了回来。

  早饭后,我去花园散步,呼吸呼吸冬天里凉飕飕的空气。突然身体又是一阵剧痛,就像每次吃过药后无以名状的痛苦折磨着我,刚刚碰到书房的门,心里又是一阵翻腾,忽而冰冷忽而灼热,充斥着海德狂野的欲望。我急不可耐地配了药,这次喝了双倍剂量才使我复原。但是,六个小时后,剧痛又回来了,我又得服药。

  从那天起,情况恶化了,药量大了,次数也多了,只有这样才能维持着杰基尔的外貌。不知什么时候,痛楚就来了,尤其是睡觉的时候,我甚至害怕去睡觉,哪怕在椅子上睡几分钟。只要稍稍打一会儿盹,醒来就又变成了海德。

  很快,杰基尔就成了一个病人,被发烧、疼痛和恐惧折磨得十分虚弱。而海德却比以前任何时候都更强大,不论对谁,对什么事情都充满了仇恨。他们之间现在对对方也怀着相同的仇恨。对杰基尔来说,他恨海德是因为海德邪恶而且没有人性,同时也因为海德比他强大。他整天提心吊胆,生怕一觉醒来变成海德的样子,有海德那种邪恶的欲望。海德恨杰基尔,原因却不同。他怕死——怕受到杀人的惩罚,这一点迫使他把杰基尔的身体当作藏身之所。但他又憎恨这所监狱,总想挣扎着逃出来,控制一切。他怨恨杰基尔软弱、忧郁、无助的样子,但他最恨的还是杰基尔对他的厌恶,所以他有时跟我捣蛋,激怒我。他撕我的书,在上面涂鸦,他还烧我的信,甚至毁了一幅我父亲的肖像。

  只是海德自己怕死,所以才没有杀了我。他对生命渴望极了,他明白要是杀了我,他自己也就死了。我心里不禁对他多少有点怜悯。

  继续忏悔也没有用了。最终,灾难还是到了,终于给我的惩罚画上了句号。很快我将永远失去自己的面貌和本性,因为只剩没几副药了。我派普尔去了同一家药店,他买回来后我就配了一剂,同样有沸腾,有烟雾冒出来,颜色从红变到紫,但没变成绿色。我喝下去,望着镜子,然而发现无效,爱德华·海德的面孔还在瞪着我。

  我想普尔已经告诉你我找药找遍了伦敦,但却毫无结果,我这才明白第一批货是不纯的,正是我和药剂师都还不认识的那种杂质使我的药成功了。这么说来,我配的药便是偶然的发现,不可能重复的。

  一个星期过去了,我用完了最后一点第一批买的药,这会儿我又是亨利·杰基尔了。但我写不了多少东西了,时间不够了。如果写这些忏悔时又变成海德,他会把这些纸撕成碎片来气我的。但如果我写完了,他也许不会注意到的。实际上,他也活不了多久,已经成了变态的人,就像陷阱里的困兽一样,坐在椅子里打战,哭泣,又是恨,又是怕。他一直听着警察的敲门声。他们会抓住他,把他送上绞刑架吗?他有勇气在最后一刻服下毒药吗?

  好了,这些事我也管不了了。此刻是我生命真正终结的时刻。看到这个时,您所认识的亨利·杰基尔已经死了,剩下的故事是爱德华·海德的了。我放下了笔,同时也让亨利·杰基尔不幸的一生结束了吧。

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