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Apologizing is not as simple as saying “I’m sorry.”  道歉不仅仅是简单的说句“对不起”。

Truly thoughtful apologies repair and rebuild relationships but thoughtless or insincere apologies may do more harm than good. 实际上考虑周到的道歉能有利于修复和重建关系然而轻率或是不真诚的道歉可能会利大于弊。

Think of the last time you apologized for something you said or did. 回想一下你最后一次为某事而道歉的时候你说了或做了些什么。

What words did you speak? Were they heartfelt and honest?  你说了些什么话?那些话是真心实意的吗?

Did your voice tone and body language send the same or a different message than your words? Were excuses and justifications² mixed in with your apology? 你的语调和动作与你所说的话是传达了相同还是相反的信息呢?在你的道歉中总是否参杂着各种理由和借口呢?

The way in which we apologize says a lot about our character.  道歉的方式与我们的性格有着很大的关系。

Do we accept full responsibly for the things we say and do or do we feel the need to explain the reason for our actions by pointing fingers? 我们是会为自己的所说所做承担全部的责任呢还是会觉得有必要把理由点出来为自己的行为解释?

Do the words coming out of our mouths have real meaning or are we just apologizing because it’s expected of us? 我们道歉是因为说出来的话里有着真实的意义呢还是觉得去道歉仅仅是因为对方的需要?

We all make mistakes. No one’s perfect.  人人都犯过错，没有人是完美的。

But how we rebound³ from those mistakes and apologize for our behavior will play a critical role in the impressions we make and the respect we have from our friends, family and co-workers. 但是我们回应错误和为自己行为道歉的方式将会在我们能否在亲友、同事中获得尊重和取得良好印象中起着至关重要的作用。

If done correctly your apology will make a lasting⁴ impression and distinguish you as someone who accepts responsibility for your actions. 如果处理的恰当，你的道歉将会为你赢得一个持久的好印象并且会使你作为一个能为自己行为负责的人脱颖而出。

My wife and I have four children.  我和我的爱人有四个孩子，

So you can imagine there have been numerous times when we’ve had to remind them about how to give a proper apology.  因此你能想得到有很多时候我们必须去提醒他们怎样去给出一个正当的道歉。

Today’s tips are based upon the lessons we have taught our children over the years and I give my wife full credit for helping⁵ all of us learn how to make things right. 现如今的秘诀都是基于这些年我们教导孩子时所得到的教训上的，并且在对帮助大家学习怎样去使事情变得更顺利的方面，我觉得应当全部归功于我的妻子。

Don’t make the common mistake of giving an explanation or a justification¹ when you apologize. It will cheapen and discount your apology. 千万别犯这种常见的错误，当你在道歉的时候还想着去找借口、找理由。这只会使你的道歉变得廉价。

The way to apologize is to accept responsibility for your actions and start with the obvious words, “I’m sorry.”  道歉的最好方式就是去为你之前的行为承担责任并且以“对不起”这种明显的措辞开始。

This won’t be easy, especially if your regrettable actions were in response to someone else’s actions.  然而这并不容易，尤其是如果你的这个抱歉举动是用来回应别人的一些行为的话。

It takes a strong person to accept responsibility for their actions and not justify⁶ them. You are in control of your actions and blaming others is just a lame⁷ excuse. 强大的人是会为自己的行动负责而不是为它们找理由。你才是自己行为的主导者，出错时责备别人只会是一个毫无说服力的借口而已。

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