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4.要尊重和善待他人。如果你一定要在这种环境中抱怨，例如饭馆的食物太凉，发现记错账，或者是遇到一个具有挑战性的矛盾，描述你的情况，来显示对听你抱怨的聆听者们的尊重。

Often times, it’s not their fault. And even if it is, there is no reason to speak to them like they are stupid or incompetent. Doing that will only make matters worse and reflect poorly on you.

通常，这不是他们的错。即使是这样，也没有理由去说他们是愚蠢的或者是无能的。这样做只会让事情变得更糟糕，会反映出你恶劣的心情。

The good news is that breaking the habit of complaining is something we can all do on our own. Here are a few tips to get you started.

最好的方法是我们自己去改正这些对事情抱怨的习惯。这有一些小贴士来帮助你开始改正。

For the next 24 hours, make an effort to catch yourself each time you complain—at home, at work, and out in the community. Being aware of your tone and how much you verbalize your dissatisfaction with other people or things is the first step toward ridding yourself of this bad habit.Listen to the people around you, especially out in public. Notice how they speak to servers, customer service representatives, and other workers. What does this tell you about them? What does the way you speak to people in public say about you?The next time you find it necessary to lodge a legitimate complaint, make sure it meets the criteria discussed above—purposeful, solution-oriented, understanding, kind, and whine-free.Complaining is harmful to your reputation. If you must complain, make sure your words are constructive and that you handle yourself in a way that reflects positively on your character.

在接下来的24个小时里，努力你发现你每次抱怨的时间，在家里，在工作时，还是在外面的社区。改正坏习惯的第一步是注意你的语气和你对别人或者事情不满意的唠叨。听你周围的人说，尤其是在公共场合。注意他们对服务员、客户服务代表和其他工人说话的语气。别人对你说话的方式取决于你在公共场合对别人说话的方式。接下来你要找到一个让你抱怨正当理由，确保它符合上述标准，目的明确面向方案，善良和自由的。抱怨对你的名誉是有损害的。如果你一定要抱怨，确定你说的话是有教育意义的，你的处理方式反映了你积极的性格。