3-86

86.

Frogmore Gardens.

Hours after Grandpa’s funeral.

I’d been walking with Willy and Pa for about half an hour, but it felt like one of those days-

long marches the Army put me through when I was a new soldier. I was beat.

We’d reached an impasse¹. And we’d reached the Gothic ruin. After a circuitous² route we’d

arrived back where we’d begun.

Pa and Willy were still claiming not to know why I’d fled Britain, still claiming not to know

anything, and I was getting ready to walk away.

Then one of them brought up the press. They asked about my hacking³ lawsuit⁴.

They still hadn’t asked about Meg, but they were keen to know how my lawsuit was going,

because that directly affected⁵ them.

Still ongoing⁶.

Suicide mission, Pa mumbled⁷.

Maybe. But it’s worth it.

I’d soon prove that the press were more than liars⁸, I said. That they were lawbreakers. I was

going to see some of them thrown into jail. That was why they were attacking me so viciously:

they knew I had hard evidence.

It wasn’t about me, it was a matter of public interest.

Shaking his head, Pa allowed that journalists were the scum of the earth. His phrase. But…

I snorted. There was always a but with him when it came to the press, because he hated their

hate, but oh how he loved their love. One could make the argument that therein lay the seeds of

the whole problem, indeed all problems, going back decades. Deprived of love as a boy, bullied⁹ by

schoolmates, he was dangerously, compulsively drawn¹⁰ to the elixir¹¹ they offered him.

He cited Grandpa as a sterling¹² example of why the press wasn’t anything to get too vexed¹³

about. Poor Grandpa had been abused by the papers for most of his life, but now look. He was a

national treasure! The papers couldn’t say enough good things about the man.

So that’s it, then? Just wait till we’re dead and all will be sorted?

If you could just endure it, darling boy, for a little while, in a funny way they’d respect you for

it.

I laughed.

All I’m saying is, don’t take it personally.

Speaking of taking things personally, I told them I might learn to endure the press, and even

forgive their abuse, I might, but my own family’s complicity—that was going to take longer to get

over. Pa’s office, Willy’s office, enabling these fiends, if not outright¹⁴ collaborating¹⁵?

Meg was apparently¹⁶ a bully—that was the latest vicious campaign they’d helped orchestrate. It

was so shocking, so egregious¹⁷, that even after Meg and I demolished¹⁸ their lie with a twenty-five-

page, evidence-filled report to Human Resources, I was going to have trouble simply shrugging

that one off.

Pa stepped back. Willy shook his head. They began talking over each other. We’ve been down

this road a hundred times, they said. You’re delusional¹⁹, Harry²⁰.

But they were the delusional ones.

Even if, for the sake of argument, I accepted that Pa and Willy and their staff had never done

one overt²¹ thing against me or my wife—their silence was an undeniable fact. And that silence was

damning. And continuing. And heartrending.

Pa said: You must understand, darling boy, the Institution can’t just tell the media what to do!

Again, I yelped²² with laughter. It was like Pa saying he couldn’t just tell his valet what to do.

Willy said I was a fine one to talk about cooperating with the press. What about my chat with

Oprah?

A month earlier Meg and I had done an interview with Oprah Winfrey. (Days before it aired,

those Meg-is-a-bully stories started popping up in the papers—what a coincidence!) Since leaving

Britain, the attacks on us had been increasing exponentially. We had to try something to make it

stop. Being silent wasn’t working. It was only making it worse. We felt we had no choice.

Several close mates and beloved figures in my life, including one of Hugh and Emilie’s sons,

Emilie herself, and even Tiggy, had chastised²³ me for Oprah. How could you reveal such things?

About your family? I told them that I failed to see how speaking to Oprah was any different from

what my family and their staffs, had done for decades—briefing the press on the sly, planting

stories. And what about the endless books on which they’d cooperated, starting with Pa’s 1994

crypto- autobiography²⁴ with Jonathan Dimbleby? Or Camilla’s collaborations with the editor

Geordie Greig? The only difference was that Meg and I were upfront about it. We chose an

interviewer who was above reproach, and we didn’t once hide behind phrases like “Palace

sources,” we let people see the words coming out of our mouths.

I looked at the Gothic ruin. What’s the point? I thought. Pa and Willy weren’t hearing me and

I wasn’t hearing them. They’d never had a satisfactory explanation for their actions and inactions,

and never would, because there was no explanation. I started to say goodbye, good luck, take care,

but Willy was really steaming, shouting that if things were as bad as I made out, then it was my

fault for never asking for help.

You never came to us! You never came to me!

Since boyhood that had been Willy’s position on everything. I must come to him. Pointedly²⁵,

directly, formally—bend the knee. Otherwise, no aid from the Heir. I wondered why I should have

to ask my brother to help when my wife and I were in peril²⁶.

If we were being mauled by a bear, and he saw, would he wait for us to ask for help?

I mentioned the Sandringham Agreement. I’d asked for his help about that, when the

agreement was violated, shredded²⁷, when we were stripped of everything, and he hadn’t lifted a

finger.

That was Granny! Take it up with Granny!

I waved a hand, disgusted, but he lunged, grabbed my shirt. Listen to me, Harold.

I pulled away, refused to meet his gaze. He forced me to look into his eyes.

Listen to me, Harold, listen! I love you, Harold! I want you to be happy.

The words flew out of my mouth: I love you too…but your stubbornness…is extraordinary!

And yours isn’t?

I pulled away again.

He grabbed me again, twisting me to maintain eye contact.

Harold, you must listen to me! I just want you to be happy, Harold. I swear….I swear on

Mummy’s life.

He stopped. I stopped. Pa stopped.

He’d gone there.

He’d used the secret code, the universal password. Ever since we were boys those three words

were to be used only in times of extreme crisis. On Mummy’s life. For nearly twenty-five years

we’d reserved that soul-crushing vow²⁸ for times when one of us needed to be heard, to be believed,

quickly. For times when nothing else would do.

It stopped me cold, as it was meant to. Not because he’d used it, but because it didn’t work. I

simply didn’t believe him, didn’t fully²⁹ trust him. And vice³⁰ versa. He saw it too. He saw that we

were in a place of such hurt and doubt that even those sacred words couldn’t set us free.

How lost we are, I thought. How far we’ve strayed. How much damage has been done to our

love, our bond, and why? All because a dreadful mob of dweebs and crones and cut-rate criminals

and clinically diagnosable sadists along Fleet Street feel the need to get their jollies and plump

their profits—and work out their personal issues—by tormenting³¹ one very large, very ancient, very

dysfunctional family.

Willy wasn’t quite ready to accept defeat. I’ve felt properly sick and ill after everything that’s

happened and—and…I swear to you now on Mummy’s life that I just want you to be happy.

My voice broke as I told him softly: I really don’t think you do.

My mind suddenly flooded with memories of our relationship. But one in particular was

crystalline. Willy and I, years before in Spain. A beautiful valley, the air glittery with that

uncommonly³² clear Mediterranean³³ light, the two of us kneeling behind a green canvas wall as the

first hunting horns sounded. Lowering our flat caps as the first partridges burst towards us, bang

bang, a few falling, handing our guns to the loaders, who handed us new ones, bang bang, more

falling, passing our guns back, our shirts darkening with sweat, the ground filling with birds that

would feed nearby villages for weeks, bang, one last shot, neither of us able to miss, then standing³⁴

at last, drenched³⁵, starved, happy, because we were young and together and this was our place, our

one true space, away from Them and close to Nature. It was such a transcendent moment that we

turned and did that rarest of things—we hugged. Really hugged.

But now I saw that even our finest moments, and my best memories, somehow involved death.

Our lives were built on death, our brightest days shadowed by it. Looking back, I didn’t see spots

of time, but dances with death. I saw how we steeped ourselves in it. We christened and crowned,

graduated and married, passed out and passed over our beloveds’ bones. Windsor Castle itself was

a tomb, the walls filled with ancestors. The Tower of London was held together with the blood of

animals, used by the original builders a thousand years ago to temper the mortar³⁶ between the

bricks. Outsiders called us a cult³⁷, but maybe we were a death cult, and wasn’t that a little bit more

depraved? Even after laying Grandpa to rest, had we not had our fill? Why were we here, lurking³⁸

along the edge of that “undiscover’d country, from whose bourn no traveller returns”?

Though maybe that’s a more apt description of America.

Willy was still talking, Pa was talking over him, and I could no longer hear a word they said. I

was already gone, already on my way to California, a voice in my head saying: Enough death—

enough.

When is someone in this family going to break free and live?

1 impasse   

n.僵局；死路

参考例句：

• The government had reached an impasse.政府陷入绝境。
• Negotiations seemed to have reached an impasse.谈判似乎已经陷入僵局。

2 circuitous   

adj.迂回的路的，迂曲的，绕行的

参考例句：

• They took a circuitous route to avoid reporters.他们绕道避开了记者。
• The explanation was circuitous and puzzling.这个解释很迂曲，让人困惑不解。

3 hacking   

n.非法访问计算机系统和数据库的活动

参考例句：

• The patient with emphysema is hacking all day. 这个肺气肿病人整天不断地干咳。
• We undertook the task of hacking our way through the jungle. 我们负责在丛林中开路。

4 lawsuit   

n.诉讼，控诉

参考例句：

• They threatened him with a lawsuit.他们以诉讼威逼他。
• He was perpetually involving himself in this long lawsuit.他使自己无休止地卷入这场长时间的诉讼。

5 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

6 ongoing   

adj.进行中的，前进的

参考例句：

• The problem is ongoing.这个问题尚未解决。
• The issues raised in the report relate directly to Age Concern's ongoing work in this area.报告中提出的问题与“关心老人”组织在这方面正在做的工作有直接的关系。

7 mumbled   

含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He mumbled something to me which I did not quite catch. 他对我叽咕了几句话，可我没太听清楚。
• George mumbled incoherently to himself. 乔治语无伦次地喃喃自语。

8 liars   

说谎者( liar的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The greatest liars talk most of themselves. 最爱自吹自擂的人是最大的说谎者。
• Honest boys despise lies and liars. 诚实的孩子鄙视谎言和说谎者。

9 bullied   

adj.被欺负了v.恐吓，威逼( bully的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• My son is being bullied at school. 我儿子在学校里受欺负。
• The boy bullied the small girl into giving him all her money. 那男孩威逼那个小女孩把所有的钱都给他。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

11 elixir   

n.长生不老药，万能药

参考例句：

• There is no elixir of life in the world.世界上没有长生不老药。
• Keep your mind awake and active;that's the only youth elixir.保持头脑清醒和灵活便是保持年轻的唯一灵丹妙药。

12 sterling   

adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑)

参考例句：

• Could you tell me the current rate for sterling, please?能否请您告诉我现行英国货币的兑换率？
• Sterling has recently been strong,which will help to abate inflationary pressures.英国货币最近非常坚挺，这有助于减轻通胀压力。

13 vexed   

adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论

参考例句：

• The conference spent days discussing the vexed question of border controls. 会议花了几天的时间讨论边境关卡这个难题。
• He was vexed at his failure. 他因失败而懊恼。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

14 outright   

adv.坦率地；彻底地；立即；adj.无疑的；彻底的

参考例句：

• If you have a complaint you should tell me outright.如果你有不满意的事，你应该直率地对我说。
• You should persuade her to marry you outright.你应该彻底劝服她嫁给你。

15 collaborating   

合作( collaborate的现在分词 )； 勾结叛国

参考例句：

• Joe is collaborating on the work with a friend. 乔正与一位朋友合作做那件工作。
• He was not only learning from but also collaborating with Joseph Thomson. 他不仅是在跟约瑟福？汤姆逊学习，而且也是在和他合作。

16 apparently   

adv.显然地；表面上，似乎

参考例句：

• An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
• He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。

17 egregious   

adj.非常的，过分的

参考例句：

• When it comes to blatant lies,there are none more egregious than budget figures.谈到公众谎言，没有比预算数字更令人震惊的。
• What an egregious example was here!现摆着一个多么触目惊心的例子啊。

18 demolished   

v.摧毁( demolish的过去式和过去分词 )；推翻；拆毁（尤指大建筑物）；吃光

参考例句：

• The factory is due to be demolished next year. 这个工厂定于明年拆除。
• They have been fighting a rearguard action for two years to stop their house being demolished. 两年来，为了不让拆除他们的房子，他们一直在进行最后的努力。

19 delusional   

妄想的

参考例句：

• You became delusional and attacked several people trying to escape. 你产生了错觉并攻击了许多人还试图逃走。 来自电影对白
• He is incoherent, delusional, suffering auditory hallucinations. 他出现无逻辑的，妄想的，幻听的症状。 来自电影对白

20 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

21 overt   

adj.公开的，明显的，公然的

参考例句：

• His opponent's intention is quite overt.他的对手的意图很明显。
• We should learn to fight with enemy in an overt and covert way.我们应学会同敌人做公开和隐蔽的斗争。

22 yelped   

v.发出短而尖的叫声( yelp的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He yelped in pain when the horse stepped on his foot. 马踩了他的脚痛得他喊叫起来。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• A hound yelped briefly as a whip cracked. 鞭子一响，猎狗发出一阵嗥叫。 来自《简明英汉词典》

23 chastised   

v.严惩（某人）（尤指责打）( chastise的过去式 )

参考例句：

• He chastised the team for their lack of commitment. 他指责队伍未竭尽全力。
• The Securities Commission chastised the firm but imposed no fine. 证券委员会严厉批评了那家公司，不过没有处以罚款。 来自辞典例句

24 autobiography   

n.自传

参考例句：

• He published his autobiography last autumn.他去年秋天出版了自己的自传。
• His life story is recounted in two fascinating volumes of autobiography.这两卷引人入胜的自传小说详述了他的生平。

25 pointedly   

adv.尖地，明显地

参考例句：

• She yawned and looked pointedly at her watch. 她打了个哈欠，又刻意地看了看手表。
• The demand for an apology was pointedly refused. 让对方道歉的要求遭到了断然拒绝。 来自《简明英汉词典》

26 peril   

n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物

参考例句：

• The refugees were in peril of death from hunger.难民有饿死的危险。
• The embankment is in great peril.河堤岌岌可危。

27 shredded   

shred的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• Serve the fish on a bed of shredded lettuce. 先铺一层碎生菜叶，再把鱼放上，就可以上桌了。
• I think Mapo beancurd and shredded meat in chilli sauce are quite special. 我觉得麻婆豆腐和鱼香肉丝味道不错。 来自《简明英汉词典》

28 vow   

n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓

参考例句：

• My parents are under a vow to go to church every Sunday.我父母许愿，每星期日都去做礼拜。
• I am under a vow to drink no wine.我已立誓戒酒。

29 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

30 vice   

n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的

参考例句：

• He guarded himself against vice.他避免染上坏习惯。
• They are sunk in the depth of vice.他们堕入了罪恶的深渊。

31 tormenting   

使痛苦的，使苦恼的

参考例句：

• He took too much pleasure in tormenting an ugly monster called Caliban. 他喜欢一味捉弄一个名叫凯列班的丑妖怪。
• The children were scolded for tormenting animals. 孩子们因折磨动物而受到责骂。

32 uncommonly   

adv. 稀罕(极，非常)

参考例句：

• an uncommonly gifted child 一个天赋异禀的儿童
• My little Mary was feeling uncommonly empty. 我肚子当时正饿得厉害。

33 Mediterranean   

adj.地中海的；地中海沿岸的

参考例句：

• The houses are Mediterranean in character.这些房子都属地中海风格。
• Gibraltar is the key to the Mediterranean.直布罗陀是地中海的要冲。

34 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

35 drenched   

adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体）

参考例句：

• We were caught in the storm and got drenched to the skin. 我们遇上了暴雨，淋得浑身透湿。
• The rain drenched us. 雨把我们淋得湿透。 来自《简明英汉词典》

36 mortar   

n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合

参考例句：

• The mason flushed the joint with mortar.泥工用灰浆把接缝处嵌平。
• The sound of mortar fire seemed to be closing in.迫击炮的吼声似乎正在逼近。

37 cult   

n.异教，邪教；时尚，狂热的崇拜

参考例句：

• Her books aren't bestsellers,but they have a certain cult following.她的书算不上畅销书，但有一定的崇拜者。
• The cult of sun worship is probably the most primitive one.太阳崇拜仪式或许是最为原始的一种。

38 lurking   

潜在

参考例句：

• Why are you lurking around outside my house? 你在我房子外面鬼鬼祟祟的，想干什么？
• There is a suspicious man lurking in the shadows. 有一可疑的人躲在阴暗中。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》