3-87

87.

It was slightly easier this time. Maybe because we were an ocean away from the old chaos¹ and

stress.

When the big day came we were both surer, calmer—steadier. What bliss², we said, not having

to worry about timing³, protocols⁴, journalists at the front gate.

We drove calmly, sanely⁵ to the hospital, where our bodyguards⁶ once again fed us. This time

they brought burgers and fries from In-N-Out. And fajitas from a local Mexican restaurant for

Meg. We ate and ate and then did the Baby Mama dance around the hospital room.

Nothing but joy and love in that room.

Still, after many hours Meg asked the doctor: When?

Soon. We’re close.

This time I didn’t touch the laughing gas. (Because there was none.) I was fully⁷ present. I was

with Meg through every push.

When the doctor said it was a matter of minutes, I told Meg that I wanted mine to be the first

face our little girl saw.

We knew we were having a daughter.

Meg nodded, squeezed my hand.

I went and stood beside the doctor. We both crouched⁸. As if about to pray.

The doctor called out: The head is crowning.

Crowning, I thought. Incredible.

The skin was blue. I worried the baby wasn’t getting enough air. Is she choking? I looked at

Meg. One more push, my love! We’re so close.

Here, here, here, the doctor said, guiding my hands, right here.

A scream, then a moment of pure liquid silence. It wasn’t, as sometimes happens, that past and

future were suddenly one. It was that the past didn’t matter, and the future didn’t exist. There was

only this intense present, and then the doctor turned to me and shouted: Now!

I slid my hands under the tiny back and neck. Gently, but firmly, as I’d seen in films, I pulled

our precious daughter from that world into this, and cradled her just a moment, trying to smile at

her, to see her, but honestly, I couldn’t see anything. I wanted to say: Hello. I wanted to say:

Where have you come from? I wanted to say: Is it better there? Is it peaceful? Are you frightened?

Don’t be, don’t be, all will be well.

I’ll keep you safe.

I surrendered her to Meg. Skin to skin, the nurse said.

Later, after we’d brought her home, after we’d settled into all the new rhythms of a family of

four, Meg and I were skin to skin and she said: I’ve never been more in love with you than in that

moment.

Really?

Really.

She jotted⁹ some thoughts in a kind of journal. Which she shared.

I read them as a love poem.

I read them as a testament¹⁰, a renewal¹¹ of our vows¹².

I read them as a citation¹³, a remembrance, a proclamation.

I read them as a decree.

She said: That was everything.

She said: That is a man.

My love. She said: That is not a Spare.

1 chaos   

n.混乱，无秩序

参考例句：

• After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后，城市一片混乱。
• The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。

2 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

3 timing   

n.时间安排，时间选择

参考例句：

• The timing of the meeting is not convenient.会议的时间安排不合适。
• The timing of our statement is very opportune.我们发表声明选择的时机很恰当。

4 protocols   

n.礼仪( protocol的名词复数 )；（外交条约的）草案；（数据传递的）协议；科学实验报告（或计划）

参考例句：

• There are also protocols on the testing of nuclear weapons. 也有关于核武器试验的协议。 来自辞典例句
• Hardware components and software design of network transport protocols are separately introduced. 介绍系统硬件组成及网络传输协议的软件设计。 来自互联网

5 sanely   

ad.神志清楚地

参考例句：

• This homogenization simplifies and uncomplicated the world enough to model It'sanely. 这种均质化的处理方式，简化了世界，足以能够稳妥地为它建模。
• She is behaving rather sanely these days even though we know she is schizophrenic. 尽管我们知道她有精神分裂症，但那些天她的举止还算清醒。

6 bodyguards   

n.保镖，卫士，警卫员( bodyguard的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Brooks came to Jim's office accompanied—like always—by his two bodyguards. 和往常一样，在两名保镖的陪同下，布鲁克斯去吉姆的办公室。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Three of his bodyguards were injured in the attack. 在这次袭击事件中，他有3名保镖受了伤。 来自辞典例句

7 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

8 crouched   

v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He crouched down beside her. 他在她的旁边蹲了下来。
• The lion crouched ready to pounce. 狮子蹲下身，准备猛扑。

9 jotted   

v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下

参考例句：

• I jotted down her name. 我匆忙记下了她的名字。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The policeman jotted down my address. 警察匆匆地将我的地址记下。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

10 testament   

n.遗嘱；证明

参考例句：

• This is his last will and testament.这是他的遗愿和遗嘱。
• It is a testament to the power of political mythology.这说明，编造政治神话可以产生多大的威力。

11 renewal   

adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来

参考例句：

• Her contract is coming up for renewal in the autumn.她的合同秋天就应该续签了。
• Easter eggs symbolize the renewal of life.复活蛋象征新生。

12 vows   

誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿

参考例句：

• Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。
• The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。

13 citation   

n.引用，引证，引用文；传票

参考例句：

• He had to sign the proposition for the citation.他只好在受奖申请书上签了字。
• The court could issue a citation and fine Ms. Robbins.法庭可能会发传票，对罗宾斯女士处以罚款。