异类之不一样的成功启示录 第68期:如何投成年人所好

 The poorer parents, by contrast, are intimidated¹ by authority. They react passively and stay in the background.

贫困家庭的父母则相反，他们常会向一些权威人士让步。他们总是显得服服帖帖，不能勇敢地站出来。

Lareau writes of one low- income parent:

拉里奥曾描述其中一位低收入阶层的父母：

At a parent-teacher conference, for example, Ms McAllister (who is a high school graduate) seems subdued².

例如，在一次家长会上，麦卡利斯特夫人（她的学历为高中）看起来就收敛了许多，

The gregarious³ and outgoing nature she displays at home is hidden in this setting.

一点都不像她在家时那样热情，那样喜欢交流，在这里，她的这些性格都掩盖起来了。

She sits hunched⁴ over in the chair and she keeps her jacket zipped up.

她弓着背坐在椅子上，始终扣紧着夹克的拉链，

She's very quiet. When the teacher reports that Harold had not been turing in his homework,

她显得很平静。当孩子的老师说到哈罗德没有上交家庭作业的时候，

Ms McAllister clearly is flabbergasted, but all she says is, "he did it at home."

麦卡利斯特夫人目瞪口呆，她非常惊讶，但是她说的只有这么一句：“他在家做了作业。”

She does not follow up with the teacher or attempt to intervene on Harold's behalf.

她即没有追问老师这到底是怎么回事，也没想过要多为哈罗德辩解什么。

In her view, it is up to the teachers to manage her son's education. That is their job, not hers.

在她眼里，教师完全能够教育好她的儿子，那是教师们的工作，而不是她的。

Lareau calls the middle-class parenting style "concerted cultivation⁵."

拉里奥把中产阶层父母的教育方式称为“协同培养”，

It's an attempt to actively⁶ "foster and asses⁷ a child's talents, opinions and skills."

其目的是积极地“培养并评估一个孩子的才能、观念和技能”。

Poor parents tend to follow, by contrast, a strategy of "accomplishment⁸ of natural growth."

相反，穷人们遵循的是“自然成长”的策略，

The see their responsibility to care for their children but to let them grow and develop on their own.

他们虽然认为自己的责任是照看孩子，但是应该让孩子自由自在地发育成长。

Lareau stresses that one style isn't morally better than the other.

拉里奥强调，这两种培养方法不能说哪种更好。

In fact, the poorer children were, to her mind, often better behaved, less whiny⁹, more creative in making use of their own time,

在拉里奥看来，穷人的孩子善于动手，不喜欢发牢骚，能够更有创意地支配自己的时间，

and had a well-developed sense of independence.

拥有极强的独立自主观念。

But in practical terms, concerted cultivation has enormous advantages.

但是在实践层面上，协同培养的优势更明显些。

The heavily scheduled middle-class child is exposed to a constantly shifting set of experiences.

有着紧密活动安排的中产阶层家庭的小孩总在不断变更着自己的经历，

She learns team work and how to cope in highly structured settings.

她能学会团队协作，她也知道怎样处理一些高层事件。

She is taught how to interact comfortably with adults, and to speak up when she needs to.

她知道怎样投成年人所好，在需要的时候，她知道该如何甜言蜜语地说服成年人。

In Lareau's words, the middle-class children learn a sense of "entitlement."

在拉里奥的眼里，中产阶层家庭的孩子开始领会到了“权利”的意义。

That word, of course, has negative connotations these days.

当然，这个词汇在当时有一定负面意义。

But Lareau means it in the best sense of the term:

但拉里奥认为这个词汇最能够说明这种现象：

"They acted as though they had a right to pursue their own individual preferences and to actively manage interactions institutional settings.

“他们的行为似乎表明他们拥有个人自由选择的权利，他们也拥有灵活应对各种制度安排的权利。

1 intimidated   

v.恐吓；威胁adj.害怕的；受到威胁的

参考例句：

• We try to make sure children don't feel intimidated on their first day at school. 我们努力确保孩子们在上学的第一天不胆怯。
• The thief intimidated the boy into not telling the police. 这个贼恫吓那男孩使他不敢向警察报告。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 subdued   

adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He seemed a bit subdued to me. 我觉得他当时有点闷闷不乐。
• I felt strangely subdued when it was all over. 一切都结束的时候，我却有一种奇怪的压抑感。

3 gregarious   

adj.群居的，喜好群居的

参考例句：

• These animals are highly gregarious.这些动物非常喜欢群居。
• They are gregarious birds and feed in flocks.它们是群居鸟类，会集群觅食。

4 hunched   

（常指因寒冷、生病或愁苦）耸肩弓身的，伏首前倾的

参考例句：

• He sat with his shoulders hunched up. 他耸起双肩坐着。
• Stephen hunched down to light a cigarette. 斯蒂芬弓着身子点燃一支烟。

5 cultivation   

n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成

参考例句：

• The cultivation in good taste is our main objective.培养高雅情趣是我们的主要目标。
• The land is not fertile enough to repay cultivation.这块土地不够肥沃，不值得耕种。

6 actively   

adv.积极地，勤奋地

参考例句：

• During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
• We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。

7 asses   

n. 驴，愚蠢的人，臀部 adv. (常用作后置)用于贬损或骂人

参考例句：

• Sometimes I got to kick asses to make this place run right. 有时我为了把这个地方搞得像个样子，也不得不踢踢别人的屁股。 来自教父部分
• Those were wild asses maybe, or zebras flying around in herds. 那些也许是野驴或斑马在成群地奔跑。

8 accomplishment   

n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能

参考例句：

• The series of paintings is quite an accomplishment.这一系列的绘画真是了不起的成就。
• Money will be crucial to the accomplishment of our objectives.要实现我们的目标，钱是至关重要的。

9 whiny   

adj. 好发牢骚的, 嘀咕不停的, 烦躁的

参考例句：

• People get rude and whiny when they are exhausted. 人们在精疲力竭的时候会变得粗野，爱发牢骚。
• People get rude and whiny and exacting when they are exhausted. 人在筋疲力尽的时候会变得粗暴、爱发牢骚而苛求。