【荆棘鸟】第三章 06

What compels you to suffer the dust, the heat and the Gilly flies? For all you know, it might be a life sentence."

  A shadow momentarily dimmed the blue eyes, but he smiled, pitying her. "You're a great comfort, aren't you?" His lips parted, he looked toward the ceiling and sighed. "I was brought up from my cradle to be a priest, but it's far more than that. How can I explain it to a woman? I am a vessel¹, Mrs. Carson, and at times I'm filled with God. If I were a better priest, there would be no periods of emptiness at all. And that filling, that oneness with God, isn't a function of place. Whether I'm in Gillanbone or a bishop's palace, it occurs. But to define it is difficult, because even to priests it's a great mystery. A divine possession, which other men can never know. That's it, perhaps. Abandon it? I couldn't."

  "So it's a power, is it? Why should it be given to priests, then? What makes you think the mere² smearing³ of chrism during an exhaustingly long ceremony is able to endow any man with it?"

  He shook his head. "Look, it's years of life, even before getting to the point of ordination⁴. The careful development of a state of mind which opens the vessel to God. It's earned! Every day it's earned. Which is the purpose of the vows⁵, don't you see? That no earthly things come between the priest and his state of mind--not love of a woman, nor love of money, nor unwillingness⁶ to obey the dictates⁷ of other men. Poverty is nothing new to me; I don't come from a rich family. Cha/y I accept without finding it difficult to maintain. And obedience⁸? For me, it's the hardest of the three. But I obey, because if I hold myself more important than my function as a receptacle for God, I'm lost. I obey. And if necessary, I'm willing to endure Gillanbone as a life sentence."

  "Then you're a fool," she said. "I, too, think that there are more important things than lovers, but being a receptacle for God isn't one of them. Odd. I never realized you believed in God so ardently⁹. I thought you were perhaps a man who doubted."

 

“当然不会罗。我也不相信你会傻到以为我置身于教士的行列是出于对惩罚的恐惧。”

 

    “哦嗬，真尖刻，德·布里克萨特神父！那么，是什么拴着你呢？是什么迫使你忍受尘灰、暴热和基里的苍蝇之苦呢？你完全明白，这也许是一种无期徒刑呀。”

 

    一丝阴影片刻间掠过了那双湛蓝的眼睛，但是他微微一笑，垂怜地对她说：“你是个了不起的安慰者，对吗？”他双唇张开，望着天花板，叹了口气。“我从小受的就是把我培养成教士的教育，但还远不止于此。对一个女人，我怎么解释才好呢？我是一个中空的躯体，卡森夫人，常常是由上帝来填充它的。倘若我是个更好一些的教士，那就根本不会觉得有空荡的时候。受上帝的填充，与上帝浑然一体，那是不受地点影响的。不管我是在基兰博或是在主教的殿堂里，全都一样。但是，要说明白是不容易的，因为，即使对教士来说，这也是一大玄秘。这是天赐神授，其他人是永远也无法了解的。也许，就是这么回事吧。放弃它吗？我做不到。”

 

    “这么说是一种力量罗，对吗？那么，为什么它只给予教士呢？是什么使你认为，在叫人筋疲力尽的冗长的仪式期间涂抹圣油就能赋予任何人以这种力量呢？”

 

    他摇了摇头。“嗳唷，这是多年的生活所获得的，甚至在授圣职之前就这样了。这是苦心舒展的结果，它使躯体向上帝洞开。这是苦心挣来的！是日积月累而得到的。这就是誓言的目的，难道你不明白吗？教士的心境不受红尘俗物的干扰——没有对女人的爱欲，没有对金钱的迷恋，也没有因为要听命于他人而于心不甘。贫穷于我毫不新奇；我并非出身于富有之家，抱朴守贞于我决非难事。服从又如何呢？对我来说，这是上述三条中最难办到的事。可是，我会服从的，因为如果我把自己看得比作为上帝的寄身更重要的话，那我就一无是处了。我是要服从的。如果必要的话，我愿意毕生在基兰博受苦受难。”

 

    “那么，你是个笨蛋，”她说。“我也认为还有比爱侣情人更重要的东西，但是当上帝的寄身可不在此例。真是怪哉。我从来没想你是如何狂热地笃信上帝，我还以为你是个持怀疑态度的人呢。”

1 vessel   

n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管

参考例句：

• The vessel is fully loaded with cargo for Shanghai.这艘船满载货物驶往上海。
• You should put the water into a vessel.你应该把水装入容器中。

2 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

3 smearing   

污点，拖尾效应

参考例句：

• The small boy spoilt the picture by smearing it with ink. 那孩子往画上抹墨水把画给毁了。
• Remove the screen carefully so as to avoid smearing the paste print. 小心的移开丝网，以避免它弄脏膏印。

4 ordination   

n.授任圣职

参考例句：

• His ordination gives him the right to conduct a marriage or a funeral.他的晋升圣职使他有权主持婚礼或葬礼。
• The vatican said the ordination places the city's catholics in a "very delicate and difficult decision."教廷说，这个任命使得这个城市的天主教徒不得不做出“非常棘手和困难的决定”。

5 vows   

誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿

参考例句：

• Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。
• The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。

6 unwillingness   

n. 不愿意，不情愿

参考例句：

• Her unwillingness to answer questions undermined the strength of her position. 她不愿回答问题，这不利于她所处的形势。
• His apparent unwillingness would disappear if we paid him enough. 如果我们付足了钱，他露出的那副不乐意的神情就会消失。

7 dictates   

n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布

参考例句：

• Convention dictates that a minister should resign in such a situation. 依照常规部长在这种情况下应该辞职。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He always follows the dictates of common sense. 他总是按常识行事。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 obedience   

n.服从，顺从

参考例句：

• Society has a right to expect obedience of the law.社会有权要求人人遵守法律。
• Soldiers act in obedience to the orders of their superior officers.士兵们遵照上级军官的命令行动。

9 ardently   

adv.热心地，热烈地

参考例句：

• The preacher is disserveing the very religion in which he ardently believe. 那传教士在损害他所热烈信奉的宗教。 来自辞典例句
• However ardently they love, however intimate their union, they are never one. 无论他们的相爱多么热烈，无论他们的关系多么亲密，他们决不可能合而为一。 来自辞典例句