向前一步:第110期 真实地表达自己的想法与情绪(6)

 Eventually, she got frustrated¹ and just blurted² out, "My manager is bad!" 最后这位女员工很挫败地脱口而出：“我的经理很坏！”

She was still speaking Chinese, but simply enough that Mark understood. 说的还是中文，但足够简单，扎克伯格一听就懂了。

If more people were this clear, the performance of many organizations would improve dramatically. 如果更多的人说话也这么简洁、清楚，相信很多组织的运营状况就会发生戏剧化的改进。

The ability to listen is as important as the ability to speak. 倾听，与说话一样重要。

From the time my siblings³ and I were very young,  在我和弟弟妹妹还小的时候，

whenever we had arguments, our mother taught us—or more like forced us—to mirror each other, which means restating the other person's point before responding to it. 每当我们发生争执，母亲就会让我们（其实更像是强迫）去模仿对方，就是在回应对方前先重复一遍对方说的话。

For example, one day my sister and I were fighting over a lollipop⁴. 比如，有一天我和妹妹为棒棒糖发生了争执。

"Sheryl ate the last lollipop!" Michelle screamed. “谢丽尔吃掉了最后一根棒棒糖！”米歇尔大叫。

"But she had a lollipop yesterday and I didn't!" I screamed back, making an excellent point. 我马上反驳了一句，立论非常充分：“她昨天已经吃过棒棒糖了，而我没有！”

My mother sat us down facing each other. 母亲让我们俩面对面坐下，

I was not allowed to explain how gravely inequitable the lollipop allocation was until I acknowledged my sister's feelings. 并且不许我争辩，直到我理解了妹妹的委屈。

"Michelle, I understand that you are upset because I ate the last lollipop and you wanted it." “米歇尔，我知道你不高兴我吃了最后一根棒棒糖，因为你也非常想吃。”

As painful as this was at the time, reflecting someone's viewpoint clarifies the disagreement and becomes a starting point for resolution. 尽管说这话的时候我心里很不情愿，但重复对方的观点可以把分歧明晰化，这是解决问题的第一步。

We all want to be heard, and when we focus on showing others that we are listening, we actually become better listeners. 我们都希望别人能认真听自己说话，当我们表现出自己正在专心倾听的态度，就会慢慢变成更好的倾听者。

I now do this with my children. 现在我和孩子们相处时，也是这样做的。

1 frustrated   

adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧

参考例句：

• It's very easy to get frustrated in this job. 这个工作很容易令人懊恼。
• The bad weather frustrated all our hopes of going out. 恶劣的天气破坏了我们出行的愿望。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 blurted   

v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She blurted it out before I could stop her. 我还没来得及制止，她已脱口而出。
• He blurted out the truth, that he committed the crime. 他不慎说出了真相，说是他犯了那个罪。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 siblings   

n.兄弟，姐妹( sibling的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A triplet sleeps amongst its two siblings. 一个三胞胎睡在其两个同胞之间。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She has no way of tracking the donor or her half-siblings down. 她没办法找到那个捐精者或她的兄弟姐妹。 来自时文部分

4 lollipop   

n.棒棒糖

参考例句：

• The child put out his tongue and licked his lollipop.那孩子伸出舌头舔着棒棒糖。
• I ate popcorn,banana and lollipop.我吃了爆米花、香蕉和棒棒糖。