英语畅谈中国文化50主题 20

Family Relations

I heard one of the criteria¹ some girls use when looking for a boy friend is the boy doesn't have any parents. Is this correct?

It’s an over statement. But it certainly reflects the sensitive relationships in the Chinese family. In the traditional household, a man is both a son and an elder brother. The certain obligation² that he can never . Even his marriage is the duty to produce the next generation. The obligations³ of the wife are less important. As the old saying goes, brothers are as indispensable⁴ as handsome and fit, but the wife is like a coat. Under this influence, a man would have to treat his parents and brothers or sisters with priority⁵ even if he was married. If the man have to be an honest son, his obligations will be even more important. such an unique role the man makes relationships with his family very complicated. this is why some well-educated young woman would rather marry a husband whose parents have passed away.

An American woman she was teaching in china once asked her students to put him selves in a situation where man fell into a river to get with his mother, wife and son. If the man was only able to save one person, who would that person be? Some students reply that he should save the mother out of for her mother hold. Other said that he should save the son, because the child represents the future. The American teacher was very unhappy with the answers. None of you even thought of saving the wife, why? She asked. The students fell silent. She explained I think you should save the wife first. The mother was old and has already spent most of her life. the child is too small to feel much pain. the wife has come through a knot with him. After this incident, the couple will be bound even closer together and they can produce another child.

Between the Chinese and westerners, there are some obvious differences in dealing⁶ with family relations. In china, a family is headed by the most person as the grandparents or parents. Children come next, followed by brothers. Husband and wife relations comes the bottom. in the west, the order is husband and wife, children, parents and brothers, sisters. The husband and wife relationship is the foundation of a family. Under criticality, a man is required to leave his parents and stay together with his wife. On the Confucianism, a man is required to stay with his parents.

The one child family has free the man from obligations to his brothers and sisters. But he cannot escape from duties to his parents. Although it is not the best solution for the girl to choose a husband without any parents, sometimes she doesn't have a better alternative..

1 criteria   

n.标准

参考例句：

• The main criterion is value for money.主要的标准是钱要用得划算。
• There are strict criteria for inclusion in the competition.参赛的标准很严格。

2 obligation   

n.（法律、道德上的）义务，责任

参考例句：

• Every player is under an obligation to keep the rules.每个选手都必须遵守这些规则。
• It is the obligation of citizens to perform military service.服兵役是每个公民的义务。

3 obligations   

n.债务( obligation的名词复数 )；义务；[法律]债券；合约

参考例句：

• Belgium replied that she had always been faithful to her international obligations. 比利时政府答复说，比利时一贯忠实履行其国际义务。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• It would never do to neglect official obligations. 玩忽职守是绝对不行的。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 indispensable   

adj.必不可少的，绝对必要的

参考例句：

• He is indispensable to our work,we cannot do it without him.对于我们的工作来说，他是不可缺少的，没有他我们就做不了。
• This is an indispensable part of his creed.这是他的信条中必不可少的一部分。

5 priority   

n.优先处理的事，居先，优先（权）

参考例句：

• The development of the national economy is a top priority.发展国民经济是应予以最优先考虑的事。
• Things should be taken up in order of priority.办事应有个先后次序。

6 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。