《英语流行话题阅读:语境识词3500》Unit 13 我真笨

　　Unit 13
I'm Stupid!
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't have to rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops... never mind, didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a big truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "No. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy¹ of mine. We pulled his boat into the dock², I lifted up this big old bass³ and this idiot⁴ on the dock goes, "Hey, you all catch all those fish?" "No. Talked them into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the road gas stations. The attendant⁵ walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire goes flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "No. I was driving around and those other three just swelled⁶ right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs⁷ the exhaust pipe, then says, "Damn⁸ that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in may days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... okay ... no problem. i thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the bridge and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said. "Are you till here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minites ago. Here's your sign."

1 buddy   

n.（美口）密友，伙伴

参考例句：

• Calm down,buddy.What's the trouble?压压气，老兄。有什么麻烦吗？
• Get out of my way,buddy!别挡道了，你这家伙！

2 dock   

n.码头；被告席；vt.使(船)进港；扣；vi.进港

参考例句：

• We took the children to the dock to see the ships.我们带孩子们到码头去看轮船。
• The corrupt official stood in the dock.那贪官站在被告席上。

3 bass   

n.男低音(歌手)；低音乐器；低音大提琴

参考例句：

• He answered my question in a surprisingly deep bass.他用一种低得出奇的声音回答我的问题。
• The bass was to give a concert in the park.那位男低音歌唱家将在公园中举行音乐会。

4 idiot   

n.白痴，傻子，笨蛋

参考例句：

• Only an idiot would make such a thoughtless remark.只有草包才会说出这样没有头脑的话来。
• You are behaving like a perfect idiot.你表现得像个十足的白痴。

5 attendant   

n.随从，跟班，出席者，服务员；adj.伴随的，出席的，注意的，在场的

参考例句：

• She was interrupted by the entrance of an attendant.服务员进来，打断了她的话。
• We met the officer attendant on the general.我们见到了随从将军的副官。

6 swelled   

增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情）

参考例句：

• The infection swelled his hand. 由于感染，他的手肿了起来。
• After the heavy rain the river swelled. 大雨过后，河水猛涨。

7 grabs   

n.试图抓取，有意抢夺( grab的名词复数 )v.抢先，抢占( grab的第三人称单数 )；（尤指匆忙地）取；攫取；（尤指自私、贪婪地）捞取

参考例句：

• The job is up for grabs.Why don't you apply now? 那工作谁都可以争取，你怎么不现在就申请呢？ 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She grabs a stack of baby photos and thrusts them into my hands. 她抓起一沓婴儿照片塞到我手里。 来自辞典例句

8 damn   

int.该死，他妈的；vt.指责，贬斥，诅咒

参考例句：

• Damn this useless typewriter!这台破打字机真该死！
• I knew damn well what he was going to say.我非常清楚他要说什么。