《英语流行话题阅读:语境识词3500》Unit45:中式友谊与西式友谊

　　Unit 45
Friendship in China and the West
-- Chinese expect friendships to be more lasting¹.
For Chinese a true friendship endures² throughout life changes. Chinese are friends even if they haven't spoken for 20 years. If you shared something at one time, then all your life you are friends. This is the best of Guanxi, the Wide Web that connects Chinese through time and space. Chinese invented the Internet long before Bill Gates was born.
In North America, even the relationship in which people feel close and tell each other personal problems may not survive life changes such as moving to another city, graduation from a university, a change in economic circumstances, or marriage. If the people do not see each other regularly, the relationship is likely to die.
-- Different foundations³ for friendships
Chinese friends share "things in common": a task, a class, the hometown. Friendships are formed by people who work or go to school together. You may or may not like the person, but if he or she can do something for you because of his position or job, you can be friends.
But in North America, business and friendship are kept separate. The friendships are usually tied to specific activities. A person may have work friends and leisure⁴ activity friends. Also friends tend to have similar financial circumstances, because friendship in the west is based on equality. Friends should exchange similar activities and give similar things to each other. If one can afford to treat the other to a meal at an expensive restaurant and the other does not have enough money to do the same, it will cause problems in the relationship.
-- Westerns expect friends to be independent.
Western people prefer people to be independent, so they do not feel comfortable in a relationship in which one person is giving more and the other is dependent⁵ on what is giving. Their friendship is mostly a matter of providing emotional⁶ support and spending time together. A westerner will respond to a friend's trouble by asking "What do you want to do?" The idea is to help the friend to think out the problem and discover the solution he or she really wants and then to support the solution.
Chinese friends give each other more concrete help. A Chinese will use personal connections to help a friend get something hard to obtain such as a job, or an appointment with a good doctor. Chinese friends give each other money and might help each other out financially over a long time.
-- Chinese usually expect more from their friends.
In the West, you can certainly ask friend to do something with you, but you recognize that your friend may say no, if he/she gives you a reason. You would not expect a friend to drop everything to respond to a non-urgent need such as shopping. Nor would you expect a friend to recognize and respond to your wishes without stating them.
A friend in China is someone who offers help without waiting to be asked. There are few limits to what you can expect from a friend. You can feel free to tell your friend what he/she can or should do to help or please you.

1 lasting   

adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持

参考例句：

• The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
• We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。

2 endures   

n.最终用户

参考例句：

• Love is a sweet tyranny,because the lover endures his torment willingly. 爱情是甜蜜的暴政，情人甘心忍受它的折磨。
• Somehow the language endures and continues to survive. 那种语言以某种方式保存下来，并继续存在下去。

3 foundations   

n.地基

参考例句：

• The builders are now beginning to lay the foundations of the new school. 建筑工人正开始给新校舍打地基。
• The house is unsafe since the foundations were undermined by floods. 这栋房子不安全，因为地基被洪水损坏了。

4 leisure   

n.空闲时间，空暇；悠闲，安逸

参考例句：

• I am seldom at leisure.我很少有空。
• He read books at his leisure.他在空闲时读一些书。

5 dependent   

adj.依靠的，依赖的，依赖他人生活者

参考例句：

• He has a mother completely dependent on him.他有一个完全靠他赡养的母亲。
• The country is dependent on foreign aid.这个国家靠外援生存。

6 emotional   

adj.令人动情的；易动感情的；感情(上)的

参考例句：

• Emotional people don't stop to calculate.感情容易冲动的人做事往往不加考虑。
• This is an emotional scene in the play.这是剧中动人的一幕。