Jokes About Doctors

     1. "I don't like your heart action," the doctor said, applying a stethoscope again. "You have had some trouble with angina pectoris, haven't you?""You're right in a way, Doctor," said the young man sheepishly, "only that isn't her name."2. John:"Doctor, lately I hear only half as good as I suppose to".

    Doctor:"I don't understand that, but lets try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight".

    John: "Fourty-four".

    3. Doctor:　I have some bad news and some very bad news.

    Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

    Doctor:　The lab called with your test results.　They said you have 24 hours to live.

    Patient: 24 HOURS!　That's terrible!!　WHAT could be WORSE?　What's the very bad news?

    Doctor:　I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

    4. A guy with a banana in his nose, a cucumber¹ in his left ear, and a carrot in his right ear goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, what is wrong with me"? The doctor says, "You're not eating right".

    5. Doctor - "Deep breathing, you understand, destroys microbes."Patient - "But, doctor, how can I force them to breathe deeply²?"6. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"7. A man was hit by a cab³ in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing⁴ up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "The doctor knows better than you!"8. Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.

    Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.

    Doctor: Why do you thank me?

    Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.

1 cucumber   

n.黄瓜

参考例句：

• This cucumber plant is climbing.这棵黄瓜爬蔓了。
• Let me eat a cucumber.让我吃一根黄瓜.

2 deeply   

adv.深刻地，在深处，深沉地

参考例句：

• I do feel deeply the strength of the collective.我确实深深地感到了集体的力量。
• We're deeply honoured that you should agree to join us.您能同意加入我们，我们感到很荣幸。

3 cab   

n.计程车，出租车，出租单马车；vi.乘出租马车

参考例句：

• The cab drove over his legs.马车从他腿上碾过。
• Shall we walk or take a cab?我们步行还是坐出租车？

4 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。