1. I don't like your heart action, the doctor said, applying a stethoscope again. You have had some trouble with angina pectoris, haven't you?You're right in a way, Doctor, said the young man sheepishly, only that isn't her name.2. John:Doctor, latel...
Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451-1560) after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir? Little Rose: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus' telephone number!...
JOHN, for heaven's sake, why can't you just talk to me once in a while? whined Mary. Hun? John responded. Look around you! she yelled as she pointed around the room. All these books! Your head is always buried in books! You don't even know I'm alive!...
A man was entering a village inn one day, when a large sheepdog lying beside the door looked up, and said to him, Good morning, sir. The man stopped in astonishment, thinking he must be mistaken, but the dog said again, Good morning, sir. Ergood morn...
Two friends who had not seen each other a great while, meeting by chance, one asked the other how he did? He replied that he was not very well, and was married since they had last met. That is good news indeed. Nay, not so very good neither, for I ma...
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here? That's quite a coinciden...
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'." The second mother...
A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please." "Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said. "When will they be ready?" the ma...
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go. If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold. If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the d...
A man was standing at a corner, with a hat in each hand, waiting for handouts. A passer-by stopped and dropped a coin in one hat, then asked, "What's the other hat for?" "Business has been so tremendo...
At 2 a. m, Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living, room. "Tiptoe down-stairs," she told her husband. "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knows what's happe...
Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!" "How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks. "Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistl...
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple ma...
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the not...
At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse. Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little...
