英文幽默笑话：斯威夫特博士与小厮

 A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr．Swift¹ used to send him presents occasionally² by her servant．Dr．Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble．One day as Swift was busy with his writing， the boy rushed into his room， knocked some books out of their place， threw his parcelon the desk and said， my mistress³ has sent you two of herrab bits． 

　　Swift turned round and said，My boy， that is not the way to deliver your parcel．Now， you sit in my chair，watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson． 

　　The boy sat down． Swift went out， knocked on his door and waited． The boy saidCome in． The doctor entered，walked to his desk and said，If you please sir， my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields． 

　　The boy answered，Thank you， my boy， Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings⁴ for yourself． 

　　The Doctor laughed， and after that， Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip． 

　　斯威夫特博士与小厮 

　　在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物，但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹扔在书桌上，说道：我的女主人送给你两只兔子。 

　　斯威夫特转过身来说：孩子，包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要记取这个教训。 

　　小厮坐了下来，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲门，等待回音。小厮说进来。博士进了门，走到桌旁说道：先生，我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候，并希望您收下这些兔子，这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。 

　　小厮回答说：谢谢你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢，谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。 

　　博士笑了，打那以后，斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。

1 swift   

n.雨燕，大滚筒；adj.迅速的，快的，敏捷的，立刻的；adv.迅速地，敏捷地

参考例句：

• He is swift to hear,but slow to speak.他听力敏锐，但不善言辞。
• He made a remarkably swift recovery.他康复得相当快。

2 occasionally   

adv.偶然地；非经常地

参考例句：

• He went on talking,occasionally wiping at his face with a towel.他继续说着，偶尔用毛巾擦一下脸。
• I like playing football best,but occasionally I play table tennis,too.我最喜欢踢足球，偶尔也打打乒乓球。

3 mistress   

n.（文学用语）使男子为之倾倒的女人，女主人

参考例句：

• Does his wife know he has a mistress?他的妻子知道他有一个情妇吗？
• Is your mistress at home?你家女主人在家吗？

4 shillings   

n.先令（英国1971年以前的货币单位，为一镑的二十分之一）( shilling的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The charge for labor works out at almost ten shillings an hour. 付给工人的费用算下来每小时差不多十先令。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I will venture five shillings on it. 我愿为它赌五先令。 来自《简明英汉词典》