英语小幽默-1

Fine for Parking¹

Tell me again," asked the judge, "why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully(尊敬地),  "Because, Your Honor², it said 'Fine for Parking'" (note: "fine" has two meanings 1) good 2) pay some money for doing something wrong.

Self-help

I went into a bookstore the other day and asked the woman behind the counter³ where the self-help section was.  She said, "If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose." (note: "self-help" has two meanings 1) you take without paying 2) you can choose as you like)

I Couldn't Digest So Many Apples

Doctor gravely(严肃地): "If you want to enjoy a long life, each time you feel like a drink. Eat an apple instead." Patient: "Sorry, I couldn't digest(消化） so many apples."

Is This a Question

A college student in a philosophy⁴ class was taking his first examination⁵. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question? " A student wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The students received an "A" on the exam.

A Dollar Per Point

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached⁶ a $100 bill to his test with a note saying, "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

1 parking   

n.停车，停机，停放

参考例句：

• A bus is parking on the road.路上停着一辆公共汽车。
• Next you must learn how to back a car into a parking space.下一步你应该学会如何把车倒入停车的空地。

2 honor   

n.光荣；敬意；荣幸；vt.给…以荣誉；尊敬

参考例句：

• I take your visit as a great honor.您的来访是我莫大的光荣。
• It is a great honor to receive that prize.能拿到那个奖是无上的光荣。

3 counter   

n.柜台；计数器；adj.相反的；adv.与…相反地；vt.反对，反击；vi.反对，反击

参考例句：

• This counter is closed now.这个柜台现在已停止营业。
• Set the counter to zero and you'll know where the recording starts.把计数器拨到零，你就会知道录音从哪儿开始。

4 philosophy   

n.哲学，人生观，原理

参考例句：

• He believed in the philosophy of Russell.他信奉罗素的哲学。
• I can't sum up his whole philosophy in one sentence.我无法用一句话来概括他的全部人生观。

5 examination   

n.考试，考查，试题；检查，调查

参考例句：

• Teachers always judge their students on the final examination.老师常根据期末考试来评价他们的学生。
• He put up a good show in the final examination.他在期末考试中表现得不错。

6 attached   

附加的

参考例句：

• The lease entitles the holder to use the buildings and any land attached thereto.本租约持有人有权使用此建筑物以及所附属的土地。