A Letter to My Son

 　　Dear Seth,

　　You’re only three years old, and at this point in your life you can't read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I've been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I've learned, and about my role as a dad in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.

　　You won't be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you're ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.

　　You are young, and life has yet to take its toll¹ on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings² and arrows of everyday life.

　　For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils³.

　　I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I've learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.

　　Life Can Be Cruel

　　There will be people in your life who won't be very nice. They'll tease you because you're different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully⁴ you or hurt you.

　　There's not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.

　　There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won't always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you'll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere⁵, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls⁶. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you'll do much better in life.

　　You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don't have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger.

　　But Be Open to life Anyway

　　Yes, you'll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don't let that close you to new things. Don't retreat from life, don't hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.

　　You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you'll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.

　　You might get teased and bullied⁷ and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don't open your heart to them, you'll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.

　　You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments⁸. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

　　Life Isn't a Competition

　　You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They'll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets⁹. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.

　　Here's a secret: Life isn't a competition. It's a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of Happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.

　　Don't worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a whit¹⁰, and none of it will make you happier. You'll acquire these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.

　　Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly¹¹. Don't settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.

　　Love Should Be Your Rule

　　If there's a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there's no better rule in life.

　　Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.

　　Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.

　　Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing¹² anyone who doesn't live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that's a horrible companion.

　　Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse¹³, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart. Give to them what they need, and show them not cruelty nor disapproval¹⁴ nor coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.

　　Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping¹⁵ hand.

　　Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love.

　　And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy¹⁶ of Happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.

　　Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird¹⁷, scary, daunting¹⁸, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can. Godspeed.

　　Love, Your Dad

1 toll   

n.过路(桥)费；损失，伤亡人数；v.敲(钟)

参考例句：

• The hailstone took a heavy toll of the crops in our village last night.昨晚那场冰雹损坏了我们村的庄稼。
• The war took a heavy toll of human life.这次战争夺去了许多人的生命。

2 slings   

抛( sling的第三人称单数 )； 吊挂； 遣送； 押往

参考例句：

• "Don't you fear the threat of slings, Perched on top of Branches so high?" 矫矫珍木巅，得无金丸惧？ 来自英汉 - 翻译样例 - 文学
• Used for a variety of things including slings and emergency tie-offs. 用于绳套，设置保护点，或者紧急情况下打结。

3 perils   

极大危险( peril的名词复数 )； 危险的事（或环境）

参考例句：

• The commander bade his men be undaunted in the face of perils. 指挥员命令他的战士要临危不惧。
• With how many more perils and disasters would he load himself? 他还要再冒多少风险和遭受多少灾难？

4 bully   

n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮

参考例句：

• A bully is always a coward.暴汉常是懦夫。
• The boy gave the bully a pelt on the back with a pebble.那男孩用石子掷击小流氓的背脊。

5 persevere   

v.坚持，坚忍，不屈不挠

参考例句：

• They are determined to persevere in the fight.他们决心坚持战斗。
• It is strength of character enabled him to persevere.他那坚强的性格使他能够坚持不懈。

6 pitfalls   

（捕猎野兽用的）陷阱( pitfall的名词复数 )； 意想不到的困难，易犯的错误

参考例句：

• the potential pitfalls of buying a house 购买房屋可能遇到的圈套
• Several pitfalls remain in the way of an agreement. 在达成协议的进程中还有几个隐藏的困难。

7 bullied   

adj.被欺负了v.恐吓，威逼( bully的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• My son is being bullied at school. 我儿子在学校里受欺负。
• The boy bullied the small girl into giving him all her money. 那男孩威逼那个小女孩把所有的钱都给他。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 accomplishments   

n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就

参考例句：

• It was one of the President's greatest accomplishments. 那是总统最伟大的成就之一。
• Among her accomplishments were sewing,cooking,playing the piano and dancing. 她的才能包括缝纫、烹调、弹钢琴和跳舞。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

9 gadgets   

n.小机械，小器具（ gadget的名词复数 ）

参考例句：

• Certainly. The idea is not to have a house full of gadgets. 当然。设想是房屋不再充满小配件。 来自超越目标英语 第4册
• This meant more gadgets and more experiments. 这意味着要设计出更多的装置，做更多的实验。 来自英汉非文学 - 科学史

10 whit   

n.一点，丝毫

参考例句：

• There's not a whit of truth in the statement.这声明里没有丝毫的真实性。
• He did not seem a whit concerned.他看来毫不在乎。

11 doggedly   

adv.顽强地，固执地

参考例句：

• He was still doggedly pursuing his studies.他仍然顽强地进行着自己的研究。
• He trudged doggedly on until he reached the flat.他顽强地、步履艰难地走着，一直走回了公寓。

12 admonishing   

v.劝告( admonish的现在分词 )；训诫；（温和地）责备；轻责

参考例句：

• It is waste of time, admonishing you. 劝告你简直是浪费工夫。 来自辞典例句
• To date, the Doctrine of Cheng Fu still exerts its admonishing effect. 时至今日，承负说仍具有警示作用。 来自互联网

13 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

14 disapproval   

n.反对，不赞成

参考例句：

• The teacher made an outward show of disapproval.老师表面上表示不同意。
• They shouted their disapproval.他们喊叫表示反对。

15 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

16 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

17 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

18 daunting   

adj.使人畏缩的

参考例句：

• They were faced with the daunting task of restoring the house.他们面临着修复房子的艰巨任务。
• Starting a new job can be a daunting prospect.开始一项新工作有时会让人望而却步。