围城效应 12句俏皮话为你解析何为婚姻

 　　This week, HuffPost Weddings highlighted a handful of tweets that summed up the marriage experience.

　　本周，赫芬顿邮报婚礼专栏为大家带来了一系列推文，总结了婚姻生活经历。

　　"Turns out, marriage is mostly just walking behind your wife carrying heavy things," one tweeter mused¹. "Marriage is essentially² agreeing to share 50 percent of your ice cream forever," another lamented³.“

　　看起来，婚姻似乎就是跟在老婆后面帮着提重物的苦力。”一个推客若有所思的说。“婚姻就是原则上你同意永久地将冰激凌分一半给另一方。”另一位痛惜地说道。

　　The roundup was pithy⁴ and sweet, but let's be honest here: Married life can be a lot rougher than having to go halfsies on a bowl of rocky road.

　　这些摘要简洁有力又不失可爱，但是我们需要正视的是：婚姻生活远比想象中的俩人分担付生活费要复杂艰难的多。

　　围城效应 12句俏皮话为你解析何为婚姻

　　Below, 12 tweets that perfectly⁵ capture what married life is really like in less than 140 characters.

　　下面12个推文用少于140个字完美的捕捉到了婚姻生活的真谛。

　　1. Marriage is like a public toilet.Those waiting outside are desperate to get in.Those inside are desperate to get out.

　　婚姻犹如一个公共厕所。没有进去的人迫不及待的想要冲进去。而进去的人又迫不及待地想出来。

　　— Stephanie Robinson (@adhesivesquish) April 30, 2015

　　2. Marriage:is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

　　婚姻，犹如去餐馆吃饭。你点了你想要吃的，但当你看到旁边人点的菜后，你又想要他点的菜。

　　— Susie Creamcheese (@LunaticOnEdge) June 3, 2010

　　3. Marriage is like waiting in line for a ride at an amusement park. You spend 99% of the time pissed off for 1% of intense pleasure.

　　婚姻犹如在游乐场排队等着玩。你花费了99%的时间在排队生气，而真正快乐消遣的时光只有1%。

　　— busty&blunt (@attsmcjay) April 15, 2015

　　4. Marriage is like deleting all the apps on your phone except one.

　　婚姻犹如将你手机上所有的APP都删除而唯有一款是不能删的。

　　— Haider (@LeMeHaider) April 2, 2015

　　5. Marriage is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

　　婚姻犹如玩桥牌。如果你没有好的队友，那就期待有手好牌吧。

　　— Dustin Not Hoffman (@Epicdaddy) April 27, 2015

　　6. Marriage is like a constant struggle to solve a jigsaw⁶ puzzle whose pieces keep on changing shapes every minute.

　　婚姻犹如一场持续不停的智力拼图游戏，你费尽心思地想要拼好它，却发现所有的拼图分分钟不停的在变形状。

　　— TD (@ttrinadasgupta) April 19, 2015

　　7. Marriage is like a video game.Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat.

　　婚姻就是一场电子游戏。开始很简单，慢慢的开始变难，渐渐地你就开始上瘾并最终发现作弊的奥秘。

　　— Chris Burns (@OneFunnyBastard) April 3, 2015

　　8. Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.

　　婚姻犹如玩地产大亨游戏。刚开始挺有趣，慢慢的开始变得无聊，然后你突然发现有人从银行偷走了钱，这下谁也赢不了了。

　　— Roma Lott (@Roma_Lott) April 7, 2015

　　9. Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute⁷ if you want to know what marriage is like.

　　如果你想知道婚姻是什么样子的，把你日常交通工具的导航声音开到最大你就知道了。

　　— Jennifer Chambers⁸ (@JenniTheUs) April 20, 2015

　　10. A bad #marriage is like a horrible job.You are happy to have one but always look out for other options.

　　一段糟糕的婚姻犹如一个糟糕的工作。你很乐于有份工作但是你会不停的寻找其它选择。

　　— lovetto nazareth (@lovettonazareth) April 15, 2015

　　11. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

　　婚姻犹如午夜凶铃：首先听到玲响，然后你醒了。

　　— YourTango Experts (@YTExperts) February 16, 2010

　　12. Marriage is like a beanbag; comfortable for a while then bloody⁹ difficult to get out of.

　　婚姻就像一个懒人沙发；刚开始坐进去很舒服，然后你发现想要出来很困难。

　　— Winter Foenander (@ComedyDefect) April 13, 2015

1 mused   

v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事）

参考例句：

• \"I wonder if I shall ever see them again, \"he mused. “我不知道是否还可以再见到他们，”他沉思自问。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• \"Where are we going from here?\" mused one of Rutherford's guests. 卢瑟福的一位客人忍不住说道：‘我们这是在干什么？” 来自英汉非文学 - 科学史

2 essentially   

adv.本质上，实质上，基本上

参考例句：

• Really great men are essentially modest.真正的伟人大都很谦虚。
• She is an essentially selfish person.她本质上是个自私自利的人。

3 lamented   

adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• her late lamented husband 她那令人怀念的已故的丈夫
• We lamented over our bad luck. 我们为自己的不幸而悲伤。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 pithy   

adj.(讲话或文章)简练的

参考例句：

• Many of them made a point of praising the film's pithy dialogue.他们中很多人特别赞扬了影片精炼的对白。
• His pithy comments knocked the bottom out of my argument.他精辟的评论驳倒了我的论点。

5 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

6 jigsaw   

n.缕花锯，竖锯，拼图游戏；vt.用竖锯锯，使互相交错搭接

参考例句：

• A jigsaw puzzle can keep me absorbed for hours.一副拼图就能让我沉醉几个小时。
• Tom likes to work on jigsaw puzzles,too.汤姆也喜欢玩拼图游戏。

7 commute   

vi.乘车上下班；vt.减(刑)；折合；n.上下班交通

参考例句：

• I spend much less time on my commute to work now.我现在工作的往返时间要节省好多。
• Most office workers commute from the suburbs.很多公司的职员都是从郊外来上班的。

8 chambers   

n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅

参考例句：

• The body will be removed into one of the cold storage chambers. 尸体将被移到一个冷冻间里。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Mr Chambers's readable book concentrates on the middle passage: the time Ransome spent in Russia. Chambers先生的这本值得一看的书重点在中间：Ransome在俄国的那几年。 来自互联网

9 bloody   

adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染

参考例句：

• He got a bloody nose in the fight.他在打斗中被打得鼻子流血。
• He is a bloody fool.他是一个十足的笨蛋。