不健康的恋爱习惯

 　　While it can be difficult to recognise signs of an unhealthy relationship when it is your own, it is important to take the occasional step back and assess whether you’re happy with how things are between you and your partner.

　　虽然审视自己的恋爱关系并承认有不健康的迹象是很困难的，但偶尔后退一步，回想自己和另一半相处时开不开心也是很重要的。

　　Users on question-and-answer website Quora have been discussing certain habits that could be warning signs of a toxic¹ relationship.

　　在问答网站Quora上，用户们一直在讨论一些不健康的恋爱习惯。

　　Here are some of the habits that were mentioned the most:

　　下列是讨论最多的习惯：

　　Keeping score

　　不断记录

　　Quora user Howie Reith suggested that noting down past mistakes or arguments and then bringing them up again to be used as ammunition² is "bad for several reasons". "It is manipulative… it fosters bitterness, and it deflects³ discussion of whatever issue has caused the present fight," he wrote.

　　Quora用户豪伊·里思建议道：将过去犯下的错误或争论记下来，然后每次吵架时再旧事重提以作为自己的有利武器是“不利的”。“这是一种操纵别人的行为，会带来痛苦，同时也从当前的争吵转而回到争吵旧事，”他写道。

　　Holding the relationship hostage

　　动不动就拿分手说事

　　Does every minor⁴ hiccup⁵ and effort to communicate seem to lead to the threat of an end to the relationship? Writer Mark Manson said such "emotional blackmail⁶" created unnecessary drama and forced people to suppress their true feelings, which in turn leads to distrust and manipulation.

　　是不是每一次小小的困难或是未能及时沟通都有可能导致这段关系终结呢？作家马克·梅森说道这种“情感勒索”会引起不必要的戏剧性情节，迫使人们抑制自己的真实情感，反过来就会导致不信任和操纵。

　　Being passive aggressive

　　被动攻击

　　Rather than saying exactly what is bothering them, a partner finds petty ways to imply their significant other that they don’t understand or are being deliberately⁷ slow on the uptake. If both parties are communicating properly, there is no need for that kind of behaviour.

　　这种人不会说出自己的困扰，而是会从很多小方面向另一半来暗示他们没有理解，或故意表示不明白。如果双方都有效沟通的话，这种行为就没有必要了。

　　Buying "solutions"

　　够买良方

　　Using material goods as a way to “make up” for past mistakes gives the recipient⁸ subconscious⁹ incentive¹⁰ to cause further problems, and again discourages proper communication and resolution. Howie Reith writes that one partner will then feel like a cash machine, while the other will well as though their problems are not being heard properly.

　　用物质的东西补偿犯下的过错，这会让收礼物的人有一种闹大矛盾的下意识，并且阻碍了有效的沟通和解决方案。豪伊·里思写道：之后恋爱一方就会觉得自己是个取款机，另一方就会觉得心满意足，尽管他们之间的问题并没有得到妥善解决。

　　Jealousy¹¹

　　嫉妒

　　Anonymous¹² writes: "When your partner expects to be told where you are and who with at all times, as though you are not to be trusted."

　　匿名人士写道：“你的另一半总是想要知道你在哪，你和谁待在一起，就好像你不值得被信任一样。”

　　Tell Us What You Think

　　Do you agree that review time is a bad time to ask for a raise, or have you had good luck pushing for a salary increase? We want to hear from you. Tell us your story in the comments.

　　1.note down记录某事

　　If you note down in the beginning itself all that you need to perform these activities, you will not have to redo the list every time.

　　如果你一开始就把执行活动所需要的信息都记录下来，就不用每次都麻烦的重列清单了。

　　2.in turn反过来；转而；轮流，依次

　　The students were summoned in turn to be interviewed.

　　学生依次被召入进行口试。

　　3.lead to导致；通向

　　I believe that his friends, above all Halifax, came to the conclusion that he must be rooted out of the life he was leading at Trinity which must soon lead to decay of mind and health.

　　我相信他的朋友们，首先是哈利法克斯得出这样的结论：他必须从在三一学院沿循的生活中拔出脚来，否则它必定很快会导致精神和健康的衰落。

　　4.manipulation [m??n?pj??le??n] 操纵；操作；处理；篡改

　　In this model, the pragmatic attributes relate to manipulation of the software.

　　在这个模型里，使用主义属性和软件的操作相关。

1 toxic   

adj.有毒的，因中毒引起的

参考例句：

• The factory had accidentally released a quantity of toxic waste into the sea.这家工厂意外泄漏大量有毒废物到海中。
• There is a risk that toxic chemicals might be blasted into the atmosphere.爆炸后有毒化学物质可能会进入大气层。

2 ammunition   

n.军火，弹药

参考例句：

• A few of the jeeps had run out of ammunition.几辆吉普车上的弹药已经用光了。
• They have expended all their ammunition.他们把弹药用光。

3 deflects   

（使）偏斜， （使）偏离， （使）转向( deflect的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• This love is so bright that it deflects all darkness. 这个爱如此光明而可以照亮黑暗。
• Level 3-Deflects 15% of damage taken onto a 600 AoE. 三级-将15%的所受伤害反弹给600范围内的所有敌方单位。

4 minor   

adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修

参考例句：

• The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
• I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。

5 hiccup   

n.打嗝

参考例句：

• When you have to hiccup,drink a glass of cold water.当你不得不打嗝时，喝一杯冷水就好了。
• How long did he hiccup?他打嗝打了多久？

6 blackmail   

n.讹诈，敲诈，勒索，胁迫，恫吓

参考例句：

• She demanded ＄1000 blackmail from him.她向他敲诈了1000美元。
• The journalist used blackmail to make the lawyer give him the documents.记者讹诈那名律师交给他文件。

7 deliberately   

adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地

参考例句：

• The girl gave the show away deliberately.女孩故意泄露秘密。
• They deliberately shifted off the argument.他们故意回避这个论点。

8 recipient   

a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器

参考例句：

• Please check that you have a valid email certificate for each recipient. 请检查是否对每个接收者都有有效的电子邮件证书。
• Colombia is the biggest U . S aid recipient in Latin America. 哥伦比亚是美国在拉丁美洲最大的援助对象。

9 subconscious   

n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的)

参考例句：

• Nail biting is often a subconscious reaction to tension.咬指甲通常是紧张时的下意识反映。
• My answer seemed to come from the subconscious.我的回答似乎出自下意识。

10 incentive   

n.刺激；动力；鼓励；诱因；动机

参考例句：

• Money is still a major incentive in most occupations.在许多职业中，钱仍是主要的鼓励因素。
• He hasn't much incentive to work hard.他没有努力工作的动机。

11 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

12 anonymous   

adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的

参考例句：

• Sending anonymous letters is a cowardly act.寄匿名信是懦夫的行为。
• The author wishes to remain anonymous.作者希望姓名不公开。