如何让你的托福写作大放异彩

 闪光的托福作文包含四个要素：

　　1、完整性：句子结构完整，意义完整;

　　2、连贯性：句子各部分之间以及句子之间的关系紧密、协调，前后意思连贯，思想表达清楚有序;

　　3、简洁性：言简意赅;

　　4、多样性：包括词汇多样性和句子多样性。

　　以上四要素中，前三个要素是前提和基础，比较容易做到;多样性是对前三个要素的升华，是作文闪光点的核心和关键所在。

　　托福词汇多样性：

　　词汇贫乏是中国学生英语作文的通病。整篇作文一个词用到底，从不作任何变化：一遇到“改变/变化”就是change，“影响”就是effect，“流行”就是popular，“认为”就是think; 每逢“因为”就是because，“意识到”就是realize，“想到”就是think of 等等。其实英语词汇很丰富的，同一个意思可以由很多不同的方式表达。

　　句子多样性：

　　单调的句式和结构、长度相近的句子使作文呆板单调，缺乏生动性和说服力;而灵活多变的句子样式和结构则使作文语言生动，自然流畅，丰富多彩。具体包括以下几个方面：

　　1长短句变换：简单句、并列句和复合句交替运用

　　长句准确生动，长于说明推理;短句简洁明快，意义明确，印象深刻，描述动作，表明主旨，总结归纳，非短句不可。既然各有所长，在写作时应根据实际需要，交替使用简单句、并列句和复合句，以达到“段间长短不一，全篇句式万千”、丰富多样的效果，给读者以及阅卷老师以永恒的新鲜感。

　　2结构多样化

　　我们学过非谓语动词结构(包括不定式结构和分词结构)，无动词结构，分隔结构，比较结构，独立结构，with复合结构，特殊否定结构，it结构，平行结构，强调结构，倒装结构，等等。其中最为神通广大的是非谓语动词结构，在句中或作主语、宾语，或作表语、宾语补足语，或作定语修饰名词，或作状语表示条件、原因、让步、时间、方式、目的、结果、伴随状况等，不一而足。

　　非谓语动词结构可以简化大部分英语从句，产生语言简练，结构丰富多样的效果，请看下列转化实例：

　　名词从句可转化为非谓语动词结构

　　1. That John won the marathon surprised us.

　　John’s winning the Marathon surprised us.

　　2. I have not decided¹ whether I should vote for Clint.

　　I have not decided whether to vote for Clint.

　　定语从句可转化为非谓语动词结构

　　1. The man (who is) standing² at the gate is my English teacher.

　　2. The car (that was) repaired yesterday by him is my mother's.

　　3. The next train that arrives is from New York.

　　状语从句可转化为非谓语动词结构

　　1. After he had watered the garden, he began to mow³ the lawn.

　　Having watered the garden, he began to mow the lawn.

　　2. When they are heated metals expand.

　　(When) Heated, metals expand.

　　3. Because I do not know what to do next, I want to ask for your advice.

　　Not knowing what to do next, I want to ask for your advice.

　　4. I spoke⁴ slowly and clearly in order that the audience could understand me.

　　…in order for the audience to understand me.

　　5. If we are united, we stand; if we are divided, we fail.

　　United, we stand; divided, we fail.

　　6. Though he has lived in Canada for tree years, he still cannot speak English well.

　　Having lived in Canada for three years, he still cannot speak English well.

　　无动词结构也是阅卷老师喜欢看到的亮点，原因就在于由于汉语写作惯性，中国学生很少能想到使用该结构。这种结构实质上是SVC结构的省略，包括形容词无动词结构、名词无动词结构(即同位结构)和介词无动词结构，往往放在句子开头，以逗号同主句隔开，表示原因、条件、让步、补充说明，伴随状况等意义。请看下列例子：

　　形容词无动词结构

　　1. Big and fat, Victor went to the Gym(健身馆) every Sunday morning.(原因)

　　2. Speechless, Henry nodded and sat on a folding seat.(伴随状语)

　　3. Anxious for a quick decision, the chairman called for a vote.(原因)

　　4. (Although)always helpful, he was not much liked by people.(让步)

　　5. It has little taste, unless hot.(条件)

　　名词无动词结构

　　6. A fellow Georgian(佐治亚人), Jordan was well-known as a friend of the President.(同位语)

　　7. Bank loan or no bank loan, we’ll buy the house.(让步)

　　8. Whatever the reason, his cordiality(诚恳)to her has won him a friend.(让步)

　　介词无动词结构

　　9. Because of his mistake several people died.(原因)

　　10. Without his sister’s money, Harry⁵ would never be a doctor.(条件)

　　由于写作惯性，同学们写英语作文时，很可能不会想到上述结构，而是写成分句，例如上述例1和例2可能写成：

　　1b. Because he was big and fat, Victor went to the Gym every Sunday morning.

　　2b. Henry nodded and sat on a folding seat, and kept speechless.

　　相比之下不难发现，无动词结构比分句效果更好，更地道，更简练，同时又丰富了作文的句子结构，不仅让读者和阅卷老师为之眼前一亮!

　　3主语多样化

　　中国人习惯于用人称主语，而英语中则常用无灵主语(inanimate subject)，即无生命的事物作主语，如：

　　1.The last two decades has witnessed earth-shaking changes in China.

　　中国在过去的二十年中发生了翻天覆地的变化。

　　2. A strange peace came over her when she was alone.

　　她独处时感到一种特别的安宁。

　　3. I am very sorry that the pressure of other occupations has prevented me from sending an earlier reply to your letter.

　　由于我近来事务繁忙，没能给于及早回复，对此我表示深深的歉意。

　　4. The smallest excuse would have served.

　　其实，你随便找个哪怕最小的借口就可以了。

　　5. That night sleep eluded⁶ me.

　　那天晚上我彻夜未眠。

　　6. The old house has seen better days.

　　这座老房子的主人曾过着更好的生活。

　　7. Everything at the party spoke of careful planning.

　　派对上的一切都说明主人进行了精心策划。

　　8.A terrible thought suddenly struck me—had I locked the door?

　　我突然产生了一个可怕的想法——我锁门了吗?

　　9. When he had to speak, his confidence suddenly deserted⁷ him.

　　等到不得不说话时，他却突然没了信心。

　　在英语中没有生命的事物作主语，来作为动作的发出者是相当普遍的现象，几乎和人称主语句平分秋色。但由于受汉语思维的束缚，我们往往觉得人作主语更自然，因此大多数情况下，我们中国学生不假思索地采取汉语的思维去表达，如上述例1、例5和例9，很可能会写作如下的样子：

　　1b. Great changes have taken place in China in the last two decades.

　　5b. I failed to fall into sleep that night.

　　5c. I kept awake all through that night.

　　9b. When he had to speak, he suddenly lost confidence.

　　我们既然已经了解了英语的这种独特思维，写托福作文时，我们要有意识地按照英语的思维去表达，这样不仅能写出地道的英语句子，也避免了作文中千篇一律的“人”主宰一切的枯燥和沉闷的氛围。

　　4开头多样化

　　开头除了使用主语外，还可以用各种各样的结构

　　1. An expert in forest fire control, the forest ranger⁸ talked to the campers about safety in the woods.同位语

　　2. Angry, Mr. Boyd began to defend his reputation with strong arguments.形容词短语

　　3. Tired and dirty, the boys returned to the camp.形容词短语

　　4. Jogging every day, I soon increased my energy level.现在分词短语

　　5. Troubled by a dream, Tim woke up with a start.过去分词

　　6. To succeed in that course, you must attend every class.不定式短语

　　7. In the scientific laboratory, Madame Curie was an industrious⁹ worker.介词短语

　　8. Because he was tired and discouraged, he did not want to rewrite the paper.原因状语句

　　9. What you impulsively¹⁰ do in haste you may regret( )in leisure.宾语从句提前

　　5运用修辞手法：排比;对偶

　　1. I came, I saw, I conquered. 我来了，我看了，我征服(凯撒大帝语)

　　2. He was well-known, well-respected, and well-loved.

　　3. The proof of gold is fire; the proof of woman, gold; the proof of man, a woman.火可以检验真金，金子可以检验女人，而女人可以检验男人。

　　4. Government of the people, by the people and for the people shall not perish from the earth.这个民有、民主、民享的政府永远也不会从地球上消失

　　5. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day. (摘自马丁·路德·金的著名演说I Have a Dream)

　　6. The power of French literature is in its prose writers; the power of English literature is in its poets.法国文学长于散文;英国文学优于诗歌。

　　7. A long journey tests a horse’s strength; a long acquaintance shows a man’s heart. 路遥知马力，日久见人心。

　　以上例句中，前五个运用排比修辞格，节奏优美，语势强烈，感染力强;后两句运用这些的秘诀可以称为金科玉律(Golden Rules)，却一点也不复杂，对偶修辞格，言简意赅，意义隽永。掌握了上述方法将会让你的托福作文语言大放异彩。

1 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

2 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

3 mow   

v.割（草、麦等），扫射，皱眉；n.草堆，谷物堆

参考例句：

• He hired a man to mow the lawn.他雇人割草。
• We shall have to mow down the tall grass in the big field.我们得把大田里的高草割掉。

4 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

5 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

6 eluded   

v.（尤指机敏地）避开( elude的过去式和过去分词 )；逃避；躲避；使达不到

参考例句：

• The sly fox nimbly eluded the dogs. 那只狡猾的狐狸灵活地躲避开那群狗。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The criminal eluded the police. 那个罪犯甩掉了警察的追捕。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

7 deserted   

adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的

参考例句：

• The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
• The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。

8 ranger   

n.国家公园管理员，护林员；骑兵巡逻队员

参考例句：

• He was the head ranger of the national park.他曾是国家公园的首席看守员。
• He loved working as a ranger.他喜欢做护林人。

9 industrious   

adj.勤劳的，刻苦的，奋发的

参考例句：

• If the tiller is industrious,the farmland is productive.人勤地不懒。
• She was an industrious and willing worker.她是个勤劳肯干的员工。

10 impulsively   

adv.冲动地

参考例句：

• She leant forward and kissed him impulsively. 她倾身向前，感情冲动地吻了他。
• Every good, true, vigorous feeling I had gathered came impulsively round him. 我的一切良好、真诚而又强烈的感情都紧紧围绕着他涌现出来。