托福写作：简析“展开论证”

 　　写作，作为语言类考试中较为主观类型的考察形式，特别提到的是第二部分任务，考生应当确切地陈述观点，并能清晰地论证展开。题目要求学生能运用reasons and examples来支撑观点，而评分标准中对于展开论证作出了确切的要求。

　　来看满分5分的内容要求：

　　评分标准中明确表示论证需要使用以下论证手法：解释、例证及细节，因此许多学生会了解到这些论证方式，而且通过一些培训课程会有意识地使用，今天我们就来概括性地理一理展开思路。

　　例题：

　　STEP 1审题及文章布局

　　是否同意过去的食品比现在的更加健康?题目非常清晰的出现了关键词：食品、古今对比、健康。所以在思考及最后文章写作的时候，学生必须考虑到这三个方面的相关性。接着，可以发现这道题可以用一边倒的方式写作，根据自己的主张找到三个简单直接的理由证明即可。

　　STEP 2 Main Idea

　　a. Fast pace of life

　　b. Modern agriculture

　　c. Overeating fatty food

　　STEP 3 Well Developed

　　在此，要提前提醒同学们，在主题句展开的时候需要紧扣题目，再次重申关键词：食品、古今对比、健康。

　　a. Fast pace of life

　　本段的展开中需要同学可以围绕针对以下这些问题：

　　什么是快节奏的生活：忙于工作、交通、会议、出差

　　引起什么问题：快餐-垃圾食品

　　First, the fast pace of life makes our food less healthy than before. Fast food is a good example. In the past, life was relatively¹ easy for people. They did not need to go all the way to their companies, transferring buses and trains several times on the way. Their daily schedules were not as filled with meetings and business trips as today. They could all go home to enjoy dinners prepared at home by their family members. However, presently, almost everyone has to focus most of his or her hours on studying or working, while still trying to squeeze time for dinner. That is where fast food comes in. The sad truth today is that knowing about the risk of eating junk food, people still rush into KFC and McDonald’s to grab a bite in order to keep their timetable.

　　b. Modern agriculture

　　本段的展开中需要同学可以围绕针对以下这些问题：

　　现代农业有什么：科技(杀虫剂&化肥)

　　引起什么问题：有毒-疾病

　　What is more, the development of modern agriculture has contributed to unhealthy food.Before modern agriculture developed, every farmer just used natural fertilizer and focused on their limited farmland. However, the population explosion inevitably² led to a revolution in modern agriculture technology, which greatly increased crops yields, and meanwhile, generated many food security risks. Agood case in point is the wide spread usage of chemical pesticide³ and fertilizer to protect crops from harmful insects and to increase production, but the residue⁴ of these chemicals directly caused many diseases, such as food poisoning, cancer, mal formation and mutation⁵.

　　c. Overeating fatty food

　　本段的展开中需要同学可以围绕针对以下这些问题：

　　饮食习惯：暴饮暴食

　　引起什么问题：过渡摄入-富人病

　　Finally, but most importantly, overeating fatty foods has also affected⁶ our health adversely⁷. The increase in material wealth of the entire population has created an environment of gluttony and overindulgence in food. For instance, meat, egg and milk now make up a larger proportion of people’s diet than before, increasing the average person’s intake⁸ of calories, oil and salt.In many hospitals, rich man’s diseases, like overweight, high blood pressure and diabetes⁹ are now commonly seen. This phenomenon, though people are aware of the problem, will continue to last, for we still continue to eat unhealthy food every day.

1 relatively   

adv.比较...地，相对地

参考例句：

• The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
• The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。

2 inevitably   

adv.不可避免地；必然发生地

参考例句：

• In the way you go on,you are inevitably coming apart.照你们这样下去，毫无疑问是会散伙的。
• Technological changes will inevitably lead to unemployment.技术变革必然会导致失业。

3 pesticide   

n.杀虫剂，农药

参考例句：

• The pesticide was spread over the vegetable plot.菜田里撒上了农药。
• This pesticide is diluted with water and applied directly to the fields.这种杀虫剂用水稀释后直接施用在田里。

4 residue   

n.残余，剩余，残渣

参考例句：

• Mary scraped the residue of food from the plates before putting them under water.玛丽在把盘子放入水之前先刮去上面的食物残渣。
• Pesticide persistence beyond the critical period for control leads to residue problems.农药一旦超过控制的临界期，就会导致残留问题。

5 mutation   

n.变化，变异，转变

参考例句：

• People who have this mutation need less sleep than others.有这种突变的人需要的睡眠比其他人少。
• So far the discussion has centered entirely around mutation in the strict sense.到目前为止，严格来讲，讨论完全集中于围绕突变问题上。

6 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

7 adversely   

ad.有害地

参考例句：

• We commented adversely upon the imbecility of that message of telegraphic style. 我们对着这条电报式的愚蠢的留言发泄了一通不满。
• Widely fluctuating exchange rates may adversely affect international trade. 浮动幅度很大的汇率可能会对国际贸易产生有害的影响。

8 intake   

n.吸入，纳入；进气口，入口

参考例句：

• Reduce your salt intake.减少盐的摄入量。
• There was a horrified intake of breath from every child.所有的孩子都害怕地倒抽了一口凉气。

9 diabetes   

n.糖尿病

参考例句：

• In case of diabetes, physicians advise against the use of sugar.对于糖尿病患者，医生告诫他们不要吃糖。
• Diabetes is caused by a fault in the insulin production of the body.糖尿病是由体內胰岛素分泌失调引起的。