从专八翻译真题看如何翻译

 专八翻译真题：

得病以前，我受父母宠爱，在家中横行霸道，一旦隔离，拘禁在花园山坡上一幢小房子里，我顿感打入冷宫，十分郁郁不得志起来。一个春天的傍晚，园中百花怒放，父母在园中设宴，一时宾客云集，笑语四溢。我在山坡的小屋里，悄悄掀起窗帘，窥见园中大千世界，一片繁华，自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄，也穿插其间，个个喜气洋洋。一霎时，一阵被人摒弃，为世所遗的悲愤兜上心头，禁不住痛哭起来。

解析：

阅学生之译文，发现有一个问题值得注意，那就是如何在动笔翻译前，能迅速正确地确定英译的主语。如：

1.得病以前，我受父母宠爱，在家中横行霸道。

学生译文（以下简称“学译”）：Before the illness, I was much petted by parents, doing everything at will in the home.

学译：Before I became ill, I have received all the favor of my parents, just like a little tyrant¹ at home.

参考译文：Before I fell ill, I had been the bully² under our roofs owing to my doting³ parents.

我们知道，汉语表达大多为“意合”结构，结构松散，以一个一个看似并列的短句拼凑而成，彼此逻辑关系不明显；但英语则不同于汉语，它是形合语言，非常讲究句子内部的逻辑关系的“外化”，所谓“外化”，即使用Connectives来表现其逻辑关系。我国译界有一个著名比喻：汉语句子的结构像”竹竿“，是一节接一节的；而英语句子则像“葡萄”，主干很短，而“挂”在上面的附加成分则很多。可以说，汉译英的过程，是一个由“竹竿”向“葡萄”转换的过程。首先要确定“一节接一节”的汉语句子，选其中的哪一节为英句的“（葡萄）主干”。

上面的汉语原句就含有一定的逻辑关系。“受父母宠爱”是因，而“在家中横行霸道”则是果。“果”应是全句的重心，英译上句，“（葡萄）主干” 当选定“在家中横行霸道”而非学生译文所选的“我受父母宠爱”。

2.一旦隔离，拘禁在花园山坡上一幢小房子里，我顿感打入冷宫，十分郁郁不得志起来。

学译：When isolated⁴ and taken into custody⁵ in a small house on the hillside of our garden, I felt like I was abandoned, getting more and more depressed⁶.

学译：As soon as I was kept apart in a small flat built on the hillside in the garden, I suddenly felt being consigned⁷ to limbo⁸, gloomily and disappointedly.

参考译文：Feeling like being deposed⁹ into a cold palace, I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration¹⁰ immediately after I was segregated¹¹ and confined in a small house on a hillside in our garden.

汉语原句有“四节”，哪一部分应该成为英句之主干？“我顿感打入冷宫”，还是“十分郁郁不得志起来”？学译都把“我顿感打入冷宫”处理为“主干”，而参考译文则反其道而行之。细细分析，“十分郁郁不得志起来” 和“我顿感打入冷宫”，两者也有主次关系。显然，“十分郁郁不得志起来” 为主，“我顿感打入冷宫” 为次。两者之间，不仅存在时间先后的顺序，而且还存在着逻辑上的“因果”。因此参考译文处理得当。另一个值得参考之处在于：“主干”（I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration）的前后均有附加成分，句子显出“平衡美”。

3. 一个春天的傍晚，园中百花怒放，父母在园中设宴，一时宾客云集，笑语四溢。

学译：At one dusk in spring, flowers were blooming wildly in the garden, my parents were holding a banquet, in which guests were gathering¹², laughters could be heard everywhere.

学译：On a spring evening, hundreds of flowers were in full bloom in the garden where my parents hosted a banquet. For a while, guests gathered in large number, laughing and talking, which could be heard clearly.

参考译文：On a spring evening, my parents gave a banquet in the garden where a profusion¹³ of flowers were in full bloom. In no time, a crowd of their guests collected and laughter was heard all over there.

汉语原句的“节数”增加到“五节”。译成英语，仍应确定正确的“主干”，两个“学译”不谋而合，将“园中百花怒放”，而不是“父母在园中设宴” 作为主干来处理。读来，给人一种观比萨斜塔的感觉。相比之下，参考译文则给人一种美感，散发出浓郁的英语味。原因很简单，参考译文选对了英译之“主干” （my parents gave a banquet in the garden）。另外一个值得记取的经验是：汉语原句出现了一个句号，因此80%左右的学生译文，也亦步亦趋硬性译成了一句，以上两句“学译”也不例外。复观参考译文我们发现，被处理成两句后从容之中多了些干练。

4. 我在山坡的小屋里，悄悄掀起窗帘，窥见园中大千世界，一片繁华，自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄，也穿插其间，个个喜气洋洋。

学译：I stayed in the small flat on the hillside, quietly opened the curtain, caught glimpse of the world in the garden, it was so flourishing：my brothers and sisters, male cousins, were coming and going through, everyone looked pleasant.

学译：In the small cottage on the hillside, secretly I opened the curtain to see the prosperity of the big world in the garden. All of them were delighted, including my brothers, my sisters, and my cousins.

参考译文：I, without being noticed, lifted the curtain in my small room, only to spy the bustle¹⁴ of a kaleidoscopic¹⁵ world down in the garden, and my elder sisters, brothers and my cousins, each full of the joys of spring, were shuttling among the guests.

汉语原句的“节数”有了空前的增加：八节。面对如此长的“竹竿句”，学译显得有点“技穷”，无奈之下，以上两句学译便依样画葫芦，照汉语原文的感觉走，见一句就译一句，不考虑“节”间关系，不分析时间先后和逻辑内涵。第二句学译甚至没有弄清“自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄”和“个个喜气洋洋”之间的关系，不明白“个个喜气洋洋”指的就是“自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄”，而错把All of them were delighted当作“主干”，而把my brothers, my sisters，and my cousins 用including 作为其中包含的成员处理。

复观参考译文，发现译者在落下译笔之前，对原句的逻辑梳理非常到位，因此确定主干也极为果断。“悄悄掀起窗帘”、“也穿插其间”分别作了“主干”，英译就站稳了脚跟。特别值得一提的是，译者在第一个“主干” （lifted the curtain in my small room）之后，用了一个动词不定式短语，表示结果，在这个动词不定式短语前添加了一个副词only，译文顿时生色！这说明，除了经过逻辑分析确定“主干”之外，能活用所掌握的词汇，也极为重要。我们初学英语之时，就已经学到：only to是一个很有感情色彩的表达，其含义是：不料竟会……；没想到会……。

5. 一霎时，一阵被人摒弃，为世所遗的悲愤兜上心头，禁不住痛哭起来。

学译：It was so quick that I felt being deserted¹⁶ by people and by the whole world, bursting into tears.

学译：I couldn‘t help crying bitter, with a feeing of being abandoned by others flooded in my heart at that moment.

参考译文：Quickly enough, I was thrown into a fist of sorrowful anger at being forgotten and discarded by the rest and could not help crying my heart out.

汉语原句的“节数”有四节。若对句中的最后两节略作分析，不难发现 “悲愤兜上心头” 和 “禁不住痛哭起来” 之间是一种先后关系，也略带因果关系，但总的来说，两个短语所占分量大致相同所以处理时，以使用并列句为好，没有必要强调主次。学译分别把 “悲愤兜上心头” 和 “禁不住痛哭起来” 作为主语，另一个短句作为修饰成分，但读起来感觉分句不是太简略就是太冗长。而参考译文的并列处理则摆平了这两个短句，读起来通顺流畅。

所以，在选定“主干”时，也应当避免形而上学的思维，选择主句的同时，还要深入分析以下句间真正的关系所在，在并列或先后关系的句子中，也不能强行设立一个“主干”，而弄巧成拙。

1 tyrant   

n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人

参考例句：

• The country was ruled by a despotic tyrant.该国处在一个专制暴君的统治之下。
• The tyrant was deaf to the entreaties of the slaves.暴君听不到奴隶们的哀鸣。

2 bully   

n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮

参考例句：

• A bully is always a coward.暴汉常是懦夫。
• The boy gave the bully a pelt on the back with a pebble.那男孩用石子掷击小流氓的背脊。

3 doting   

adj.溺爱的，宠爱的

参考例句：

• His doting parents bought him his first racing bike at 13.宠爱他的父母在他13岁时就给他买了第一辆竞速自行车。
• The doting husband catered to his wife's every wish.这位宠爱妻子的丈夫总是高度满足太太的各项要求。

4 isolated   

adj.与世隔绝的

参考例句：

• His bad behaviour was just an isolated incident. 他的不良行为只是个别事件。
• Patients with the disease should be isolated. 这种病的患者应予以隔离。

5 custody   

n.监护，照看，羁押，拘留

参考例句：

• He spent a week in custody on remand awaiting sentence.等候判决期间他被还押候审一个星期。
• He was taken into custody immediately after the robbery.抢劫案发生后，他立即被押了起来。

6 depressed   

adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的

参考例句：

• When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
• His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。

7 consigned   

v.把…置于（令人不快的境地）( consign的过去式和过去分词 )；把…托付给；把…托人代售；丟弃

参考例句：

• I consigned her letter to the waste basket. 我把她的信丢进了废纸篓。
• The father consigned the child to his sister's care. 那位父亲把孩子托付给他妹妹照看。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

8 limbo   

n.地狱的边缘；监狱

参考例句：

• His life seemed stuck in limbo and he could not go forward and he could not go back.他的生活好像陷入了不知所措的境地，进退两难。
• I didn't know whether my family was alive or dead.I felt as if I was in limbo.我不知道家人是生是死，感觉自己茫然无措。

9 deposed   

v.罢免( depose的过去式和过去分词 )；（在法庭上）宣誓作证

参考例句：

• The president was deposed in a military coup. 总统在军事政变中被废黜。
• The head of state was deposed by the army. 国家元首被军队罢免了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 frustration   

n.挫折，失败，失效，落空

参考例句：

• He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

11 segregated   

分开的； 被隔离的

参考例句：

• a culture in which women are segregated from men 妇女受到隔离歧视的文化
• The doctor segregated the child sick with scarlet fever. 大夫把患猩红热的孩子隔离起来。

12 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

13 profusion   

n.挥霍；丰富

参考例句：

• He is liberal to profusion.他挥霍无度。
• The leaves are falling in profusion.落叶纷纷。

14 bustle   

v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹

参考例句：

• The bustle and din gradually faded to silence as night advanced.随着夜越来越深，喧闹声逐渐沉寂。
• There is a lot of hustle and bustle in the railway station.火车站里非常拥挤。

15 kaleidoscopic   

adj.千变万化的

参考例句：

• London is a kaleidoscopic world.伦敦是个天花筒般的世界。
• The transfer of administrative personnel in that colony was so frequent as to create kaleidoscopic effect.在那个殖民地，官员调动频繁，就象走马灯似的。

16 deserted   

adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的

参考例句：

• The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
• The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。