当爱成往事：分手时10句最烂的台词

 　　The modern versions of “I’m afraid of commitment” and “It’s not you, it’s me.”

　　分手时烂大街的话 “我害怕承诺”以及“不是你的问题，是我的”，现在有了与时俱进的新版本：

　　1. “I feel like we’re moving too fast.”

　　“我觉得我们节奏太快了点。”

　　If a person says this and then suggests slowing down a little bit (maybe seeing/texting each other less during the week or whatever) then they are probably reacting accordingly to things getting serious more quickly than they’d like.

　　如果一个人说这句话，并希望能够慢下来（比如一周只见面或联系一次等等诸如此类），有这种做法的人往往觉得这段感情变认真的速度超出了他们的想象。

　　Fine! Understandable! If a person says this and then suggests no longer seeing each other at all (or [ugh] “taking a break”) then they’ve realized that they are no longer interested in this budding relationship but would rather end on infuriatingly open-ended terms than risk confrontation¹.

　　好吧！可以理解！如果有人这么说，并且建议大家最近不要见面（或者说，“休息一下”），那么他们应该已经意识到对这段感情不再那么感兴趣，希望能顺其自然的结束甚至不用冒着面对面分手的风险。

　　2. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

　　“我不想伤害你”。

　　This one is baffling because there exists a vast middle ground between “being in a relationship and hurting someone” and “not being in a relationship and not hurting someone.” Part of it is “being in a relationship and not hurting someone”!

　　这个比较麻烦，因为在“谈恋爱伤害对方” 和“不在一起不伤害对方” 之间有一个巨大的灰色地带。因为也可以“在一起但不伤害对方” 啊！

　　So it’s strange that the person using this line thinks that the person being dumped doesn’t understand this? No one who hears this feels grateful for their feelings being spared. They might feel grateful for avoiding dating a turd.

　　所以那些说这句台词的人，难道意识不到被甩的那一方不明白这个道理么？没有哪个被甩的人会因为听到这句话对你的体贴感激涕零。他们只会庆幸没有继续跟渣人浪费时间。

　　3. “I’m not looking for a relationship.”

　　“我没有想认真谈恋爱。”

　　On its own, this is a completely valid² statement. Not everyone is looking for a relationship, and sometimes people who are both looking for relationships are actually looking for different ones! Different strokes, you know?

　　从这句话本身来说，这完全是一个有效的声明。不是每个人都在寻求恋情，有时候那些寻求恋情的只是在找不同的玩伴而已！不同的刺激，懂了么？

　　But it is without a doubt the worst kind of person who says they aren’t looking for a relationship, allows the other person to walk away feeling like they experienced an honest and amicable³ parting of ways with a decent human whom they will think of fondly, and then announces their new relationship on Facebook three days later.

　　毫无疑问，这种说自己没有想谈恋爱的这群人，往往会让其他人觉得他们正跟无比喜欢的绅士经历了真诚和平的分手，结果三天后又在社交网络公布了自己的新恋情。

　　4. “I’m just so fucked up right now.”

　　“我现在真的心力交瘁。”

　　Hahaha OK, one second, because our eyes will literally⁴ never stop rolling. Sure, maybe it’s true. Maybe this person is “so fucked up.” But first of all, WHO ISN’T? And second of all, maybe stop? “So fucked up” isn’t a fixed⁵ trait. It’s like the person who says, “I know I’m late all the time, but that’s just me!” An acknowledgment isn’t the end of the conversation. Being late all the time is rude. This statement means nothing. Stop doing it.

　　哈哈，好，一秒钟休息，我们的眼睛从来不会停止转动。当然，也许这是真的。也许这个人真的“心力交瘁”，但首先，谁不是这样呢？其次，能停下来么？“心力交瘁”不是一个可以修复的特征。就好像一个人说“我知道我每次都迟到，但这就是我！' 自我承认不能作为对话的结束，每次都迟到就是不礼貌的表现。这种说辞无济于事。所以省省吧。

　　5. “I don’t deserve you.”

　　“我配不上你。”

　　This one is so sneakily manipulative, because it seems like it’s about how you, as the person being dropped, are an untouchable god among men (which, maybe you are!) but in reality it’s about how the other person is working through a martyr⁶ complex. It might even lead to the most absurd of scenarios⁷, in which the dumpee actually comforts the dumper!

　　这句话其实暗含玄机，这看起来说的是你，这个被甩的人，如何遥不可及如神般存在（也许你真的是这样！）但实际上，只是别人用来脱身的妙招罢了。这还可能会出现最荒唐的情景，被抛弃的人反过来安慰抛弃者！

　　We would never condemn⁸ insecurity, but if a person is truly interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who intimidates⁹ them, they’ll just do what everyone else does (i.e., lie about how smart/funny/interesting they are until they reach a level of comfort at which they can drop it)

　　我们从来不会怪责无安全感，但如果一个人真的认真去追求那个让他魂牵梦绕的另一半，他们做的和一般人无差（比如，把自己夸的多聪明/有趣/有意思，直到他们觉得火候已到才会展现出真实模样。）

1 confrontation   

n.对抗，对峙，冲突

参考例句：

• We can't risk another confrontation with the union.我们不能冒再次同工会对抗的危险。
• After years of confrontation,they finally have achieved a modus vivendi.在对抗很长时间后，他们最后达成安宁生存的非正式协议。

2 valid   

adj.有确实根据的；有效的；正当的，合法的

参考例句：

• His claim to own the house is valid.他主张对此屋的所有权有效。
• Do you have valid reasons for your absence?你的缺席有正当理由吗？

3 amicable   

adj.和平的，友好的；友善的

参考例句：

• The two nations reached an amicable agreement.两国达成了一项友好协议。
• The two nations settled their quarrel in an amicable way.两国以和睦友好的方式解决了他们的争端。

4 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

5 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

6 martyr   

n.烈士，殉难者；vt.杀害，折磨，牺牲

参考例句：

• The martyr laid down his life for the cause of national independence.这位烈士是为了民族独立的事业而献身的。
• The newspaper carried the martyr's photo framed in black.报上登载了框有黑边的烈士遗像。

7 scenarios   

n.[意]情节；剧本；事态；脚本

参考例句：

• Further, graphite cores may be safer than non-graphite cores under some accident scenarios. 再者，根据一些事故解说，石墨堆芯可比非石墨堆芯更安全一些。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
• Again, scenarios should make it clear which modes are acceptable to users in various contexts. 同样，我们可以运用场景剧本来搞清楚在不同情境下哪些模式可被用户接受。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

8 condemn   

vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑

参考例句：

• Some praise him,whereas others condemn him.有些人赞扬他，而有些人谴责他。
• We mustn't condemn him on mere suppositions.我们不可全凭臆测来指责他。

9 intimidates   

n.恐吓，威胁( intimidate的名词复数 )v.恐吓，威胁( intimidate的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He intimidates the children by shouting at them. 他朝孩子们大声叫喊以吓唬他们。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Militant Islam condemns and intimidates and kills Muslims before anyone else. 穆斯林武装分子非难、恐吓和杀害穆斯林自己人在先。 来自互联网