英语美文:寻找真爱

 　　online dating is about vanity. Simply put, I think that I'm too attractive, too interesting and too young to need to subject myself to the trauma¹ of courting on the Internet.

　　我讨厌网络相亲的最大原因在于其虚有其表。简而言之，我认为自己太有魅力、太有趣也太年轻了，根本没有必要去经历网络求爱这种精神创伤。

　　But there's another reason, too—it's that I love a story. One of my favorite parts of dating is a charming "how we met" anecdote². And I'm sorry, but there's nothing charming about Harmony. So when someone I know admittedthat part of getting over his first love meant realizing that he'd been "in love with the story"—the two of them met in the desert in Israel— I immediately recognized my own experience.

　　不过，这其中还有另外一个原因——我喜欢有故事的爱情。对于约会，我最钟爱的部分便是“我们如何相识”这件迷人轶事。真抱歉，“网络红娘”根本跟迷人不沾边。因此，当我的一位朋友承认结束其初恋的部分原因是他明白到自己一直以来只是“与那个故事相爱”——他们两人是在以色列的沙漠中相遇的——我立刻想到了自己的经历。

　　Specifically, I recognized my Missed Connection. It was the Internet that brought us together, ironically, but there was plot. We made eye contact on a Brooklyn-bound train and then found one another through the Missed Connections page on Craigslist. I posted the ad, for the first time in my life, and he hadn't even heard of the site until reading about it in the Times Book Review two weeks prior.

　　具体来说，我想到了自己一段错过的联系。讽刺的是，让我们找到了对方的正是网络，当中还有情节。我们在一列开往布鲁克林方向的火车上有过一面之缘，随后在“克雷格菜单”网站的“寻人启事”页面中找到对方。我发布了平生第一则寻人广告，而他是在前两周读到《时代》杂志的书评时才知道这个网站。

　　On our first date, he unassuminglydisclosed a critical mass of Ideal Boyfriend qualities: he was six-foot-five and a lawyer for a labor³ union. He asked me questions and read the New Yorker. He had become an ordained⁴ minister online so that he could perform the weddings of both of his younger sisters.

　　我们第一次约会时，他自然地流露出成为理想男友的基本条件：身高六尺五寸（约2.17米），是一名工会律师。他对我嘘寒问暖，喜欢读《纽约客》杂志。他在网上获得牧师的圣职，好让自己能为两个妹妹主婚。

　　He was so completely good-natured that, initially⁵, my attraction vanished. (I questioned my sexuality the way I had after the first time I kissed an attractive man and felt nothing—only years later realizing it was because he was meek⁶ and unintelligent.) But the story of my Missed Connection was so compelling that I persevered⁷, eventually convincing myself that I should probably marry him. When life plans pulled us apart after just three months of dating, I felt devastated⁸. Recently, though, when our paths crossed briefly⁹ for beers and conversation, we had a great time—but the chemistry wasn't there. I had to admit that, on some level, it never truly was.

　　他的脾气好得太彻底了，以致我对他从一开始便不感兴趣。（与这么有魅力的男人接吻却没有任何反应，我当时不禁怀疑自己的性能力——多年后我才明白那只是因为他太温顺，不够机灵。）然而这个“错过的联系”的故事让人如此无法抗拒，我一直坚守这段感情，甚至最终说服自己应该嫁给他。当我们约会了三个月，生活计划将我们拉扯开的时候，我整个人都崩溃了。而最近，我们相约小酌几杯，闲聊几句时相处得非常愉快——只是不再有心跳的感觉。我不得不承认，在某种程度上，我们之间从来就不存在爱情。

　　Sometimes we encounter the opposite: We find the connection, but not the story. The other night I talked with a friend who is navigating¹⁰ an increasingly serious relationship. Outwardly creative and 14)liberal, she always anticipated that she'd end up with someone similar. The man she's dating isn't: He's clean-cut and has a "conventional" job. He's right for her in deeper, more fundamental ways—but she admits it's a struggle to accept that, superficially, he's not what she thought she wanted. He doesn't reflect the story she believed about herself.

　　有时候，我们的际遇却刚好相反：我们找到的是感觉，而非相遇的故事。有一天晚上，我和一位朋友聊天，她正处于一段日渐认真的恋情当中。她从外表来看创意多多，崇尚自由，一直期待与一个同道中人在一起。和她约会的那个男人并非如此：他轮廓分明，从事一份“刻板”的工作。他在更深层次、更基本的方面却正合适她——但她称接受这样的现实的确不容易，表面上看，他不是她认为自己想要的对象。他完全无法体现她相信的那个关于自己的故事。

　　No matter where we meet people—on the subway or online—all of us make up stories that reinforcenotions of our relationships and ourselves. It's the way we make sense of the world: I'm not sure any of us could survive without giving our lives some compelling plotlines. I certainly couldn't. But even as I do, I will try to remember that any connection I'm lucky enough to find with someone is far more important than whatever story that connection might tell.

　　无论我们在什么样的地方与人相遇相识——在地铁站还是网络——我们都会编造一些故事，加强对彼此关系和自身的想法。这就是我们认知世界的方式：若不给自己的生命添加一些无法抗拒的故事情节，我不太确定是否还有人能继续活下去。我就绝对不行。然而即便我喜欢故事，我仍将努力去记住这一点——任何我有幸能从某个人身上找到的感觉，都远比这种感觉所讲述的故事来得重要。

1 trauma   

n.外伤，精神创伤

参考例句：

• Counselling is helping him work through this trauma.心理辅导正帮助他面对痛苦。
• The phobia may have its root in a childhood trauma.恐惧症可能源于童年时期的创伤。

2 anecdote   

n.轶事，趣闻，短故事

参考例句：

• He departed from the text to tell an anecdote.他偏离课文讲起了一则轶事。
• It had never been more than a family anecdote.那不过是个家庭趣谈罢了。

3 labor   

n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦

参考例句：

• We are never late in satisfying him for his labor.我们从不延误付给他劳动报酬。
• He was completely spent after two weeks of hard labor.艰苦劳动两周后，他已经疲惫不堪了。

4 ordained   

v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定

参考例句：

• He was ordained in 1984. 他在一九八四年被任命为牧师。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He was ordained priest. 他被任命为牧师。 来自辞典例句

5 initially   

adv.最初，开始

参考例句：

• The ban was initially opposed by the US.这一禁令首先遭到美国的反对。
• Feathers initially developed from insect scales.羽毛最初由昆虫的翅瓣演化而来。

6 meek   

adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的

参考例句：

• He expects his wife to be meek and submissive.他期望妻子温顺而且听他摆布。
• The little girl is as meek as a lamb.那个小姑娘像羔羊一般温顺。

7 persevered   

v.坚忍，坚持( persevere的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She persevered with her violin lessons. 她孜孜不倦地学习小提琴。
• Hard as the conditions were, he persevered in his studies. 虽然条件艰苦，但他仍坚持学习。 来自辞典例句

8 devastated   

v.彻底破坏( devastate的过去式和过去分词)；摧毁；毁灭；在感情上（精神上、财务上等）压垮adj.毁坏的；极为震惊的

参考例句：

• The bomb devastated much of the old part of the city. 这颗炸弹炸毁了旧城的一大片地方。
• His family is absolutely devastated. 他的一家感到极为震惊。

9 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

10 navigating   

v.给（船舶、飞机等）引航，导航( navigate的现在分词 )；（从海上、空中等）横越；横渡；飞跃

参考例句：

• These can also be very useful when navigating time-based documents, such as video and audio. 它对于和时间有关的文档非常有用，比如视频和音频文档。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• Vehicles slowed to a crawl on city roads, navigating slushy snow. 汽车在市区路上行驶缓慢，穿越泥泞的雪地。 来自互联网