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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
How to fuck up your entire day(or life)in 5 simple steps五个会让你虚度人生的简单步骤：
Step1.Grab your dumb phone as soon as you wake up,before stretching and having a tall glass of water,and start looking at all the shit everyone else is doing in life to make themselves feel more important and posting it on their wall so this way you can start to feel insignificant2 when your postings aren’t as exciting as theirs.(I suggest Instagram or Facebook to start).
步骤1，在你醒来做伸展运动并且喝一大杯水之前，抓住你沉默的手机，看看其他人在做什么对于他们而言重要并且把它们写在社交网站上的事，如果你的目标并不如他们的让人振奋，那么你会觉得自己的目标不那么重要(我建议看一下Instagram或者Facebook)。关掉你的手机或者一天最多看两遍(这种网站)!通常来说，短信和消息并不是会话，它只是一种浪费时间的猜测游戏。如果你很重要的话，别人会打电话给你的。
Step2.Ask”why”.Stupid questions like “why am here”I will give you a hint...so you can die dumb-ass1.Truth is no one but you asks why.Do something you have never done before,punch yourself in the face...as hard as you can...make your nose bleed...taste in the back of your throat.That is living and experiencing in the finest sense.If you have time to ask why ,you have time to punch yourself in the face.
步骤2，问“为什么”。如果你问“为什么我在这”这种愚蠢的问题，我会给你一个提示......你可以去死了笨蛋!事实并不是什么高深的东西但是你问了为什么。有没有什么你之前从来没有做过的事......给自己几巴掌......用你最大的力气打.......打到你鼻子流血......尝一下你喉咙深处的血的味道吧。那是生活和历练的最好的形式。如果你有时间去问为什么，那么你不如那这时间狠狠地给自己一拳。
Step3,Think that there is a purpose to your life.There is not.You are born,you will experience,you will die.Your friends are not here to validate3 you,just to provide you with experiences.Your phone isn’t here to make you a better person,and in all possibility,it is probably the reason that you are having such a miserable4 life.Get off that fucking thing,go outside and take a walk in the rain...No one has died from walking in the rain.
步骤3，想象一下你生活的目标。这里没有目标。你一旦出生，你就会经历生活，你也会去世。你的朋友不是来验证你的存在的，而是用经验来装备你的。你的手机不能让你变成一个更好的人，十有八九，它往往是你过得如此悲惨的原因。关掉手机吧，出去散散步。如果外面在下雨，就在雨中走吧......没有人会因为在雨中行走而死的。
Step4.Keep collecting things.Things are like weights that weigh you down and keep you in the can’t.I would love to move but I can’t.I would love to travel but I have this house with all the stuff and I can’t.For everything you own,consider it a 250lb weight.Pair of extra shoes,500lbs.college degree,250lbs,extra pair of pants 250lbs,60 inch flatscreen LCD-250lbs.The more shit you own,the fatter you are.The less likely you can get out of bed and go to the gym because you have all these shit weighing you down.Fuck the clutter5 and get rid of it,most or some.
步骤4，保持收集东西的习惯。收集的东西就像负重一样，能压倒你，让你一直处在“不能”之中。我很乐意去移动但是我不能。我想去旅游但是这里有我所有的物品所以我不能去。把你所拥有的每一样的东西都想成250磅。一双特别的鞋，500磅。本科学位250磅，特别的裤子250磅，60英尺超薄液晶显示屏250磅，你有越多的杂物，你就越胖。你就越不可能从你的床上起来去健身房锻炼，因为这些都在压着你。或多或少地摆脱这些没用的杂物吧。
Step5.Self doubt:”Am I good enough?”,”Am I qualified6 enough for this job?”.”and I really the love of his/her life?”Doubting yourself for even one millisecond is an essential way to fuck up your day,your month and potentially even your life.This is the fastest way to kill yourself,your dreams,your family,your friends,any relationship you have ever had.Questioning is good:”what was James Brown second album?how was Prince influenced by James Brown?”Doubting is stupid.Self doubts are reasons your life suck goat balls.Live your life,accept your going to piss people off and say what you feel.Never ever doubt yourself and if you do ,punch yourself in said face.
步骤5，自我怀疑。“我做的够好吗?”或者“我有资格获得这份工作吗?”又或者“我是他/她生命中的真爱吗?”哪怕你只有一毫秒的时间在怀疑自己都是在浪费你的一天、一个月、甚至是你的一生。这是杀死你自己、你的梦想、你的家庭、你的朋友还有你所有一切关系的最快的方法。有一个问题是很好的“詹姆斯.布朗的第二张专辑怎么样?王子受詹姆斯.布朗的影响有多深呢?”怀疑则是愚蠢的。自我怀疑只是你虚度人生的借口罢了。过自己的生活，接受你对其他人的不满并且说出你的想法。永远不要怀疑你自己。如果你怀疑了，那就狠狠地给自己几巴掌。
醒醒吧。拍拍屁股，你仍然很酷。睡觉然后重复新的一天。
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收听单词发音
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1
ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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2
insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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3
validate
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| vt.（法律）使有效，使生效 | |
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4
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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5
clutter
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| n.零乱，杂乱；vt.弄乱，把…弄得杂乱 | |
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qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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awesome
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| adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的 | |
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